


Contradictions- Zukka Fanfiction! (High School AU)

by girlinyellow9735



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Jet (Avatar) Is An Asshole, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Romance, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, MMIW, Past Child Abuse, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Sokka has adhd, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:01:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 64,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26013796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlinyellow9735/pseuds/girlinyellow9735
Summary: Navigating high school is not, in fact, the hard part for either Sokka or Zuko.It's the fact that they're hopelessly in love with each other, in a world where that itself is a contradiction.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong/Suki
Comments: 20
Kudos: 61





	1. First Day of School

**Author's Note:**

> (Read the description for more.)
> 
> AGES/GRADES:
> 
> Seniors (17-18 years old): Azula (who is actually 15) Mai, Ty Lee, Jet
> 
> Juniors (16-17 years old): Zuko, Sokka, Suki
> 
> Sophomores (15-16 years old): Katara, Haru, Yue
> 
> Freshmen (14-15 years old): Toph, Aang
> 
> (More info on Azula on the next chapter.)
> 
> OTHER CHARACTERS:
> 
> Ozai is the owner of a huge corporation, and Iroh is a part-time counselor as well as the owner of a tea shop. He's the retired basketball coach at Nation High (the school.) The city is called Azulon. 
> 
> IMPORTANT: The art on each chapter is a bit different. here are the credits, and they're on the chapter, done by different people!
> 
> Chapter One: That art is mine :)
> 
> Chapter Two: Done by a fan, her insta handle is @doodling_lc (Show her account some love! She's a great artist.)
> 
> I'm editing it a little bit so feel free to point out any plot points.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (FYI: This is a Zukka fanfic, so it's gay. Obviously. Hate, homophobia, and heteronormativity won't be tolerated!)
> 
> :)

(FYI: Because this is a Zukka fic, focus will shift between Zuko and Sokka.)

Sokka:

"The first day of my junior year," I say aloud, staring into the mirror. "At a new high school." A real high school, I don't add. Back down south, (way south, like south pole), there were barely any kids my age. Elementary, middle, and high school were all rolled into one little portable hut, and I was the oldest. Nothing like Nation High, on the beach, with hundreds of kids, all who-

"Hey!" I hear my younger sister Katara shout. "Spirits, you take forever in the bathroom. Are you ok?"

"Fine," I shout back, pulling my thoughts back. I ignore the longing in my stomach for my dad, across the ocean for the military. I ignore the absence of my mother, the lack of missing her. I'm older than Katara by a year, but I can barely remember her. At least I have Gran-Gran. Good old deaf, old-fashioned Gran-Gran, with our best interests so at heart she moved us here so we could have a better education. Now, hair up, or down???

Oh, definitely down.

Do my muscles look good in this blue shirt, or should I switch to red, Nation High's official color?

Who am I kidding? They look amazing either-

"That's it," she shouts, barging in. "These hair loops can't be done in just five minutes, and you need to eat breakfast!"

"Wait- hold on- but-" I try to protest, but she's already pushed me out of the bathroom. "I miss Aang," I sigh, thinking of the little freshman kid we met in the airport on the way here, who's been hanging out with us everyday since. Too bad he's always either at track practice, or watching Katara surf.

"Sokka!" I hear Gran-Gran wail from downstairs, and I take another deep breath before heading down. 

***

Zuko:

"This is far too bumpy," my sister insults the chauffeur. Technically, she should be a grade below me because she's two years younger than me, but she's some sort of prodigy, so she's a grade ABOVE me instead. Doesn't mean she isn't spoiled.

"Sorry, miss," the SUV driver apologizes. Azula harumphes and turns over to me.

"Can you be any more of a brat?" I retort, and she hisses.

"Can you be any more of a loser?" She snarls, and then shoots me one of her trademark adorable-good-girl-poison smiles. She isn't totally correct, but she isn't wrong either. For the past two years or high school I'd been resentful to everyone, probably because of my shitty home life, ending up with more than a few people hating me. This year, though, I just want to distance myself from my family. I wasn't aiming for popular. Maybe just an aloof loner? That could fit me.

"Mai and Ty Lee aren't actually your friends," I point out. "I'm pretty sure Mai just hangs out with you because you two are so good at basketball, and Ty Lee the cheerleader just flat out adores you. It also doesn't hurt their parents think you're perfect."

"That's right I'm good at basketball," she sneers. "Much better then you." I made the varsity team this year, but Azula's been on the girls varsity for years, due to her vicious nature. Neither of us are tall, but I'm good enough at it to make varsity, obviously. Well, thanks to my Uncle Iroh's patient training. As the most beloved counselor and used-to-be basketball coach at school, he made my varsity spot possible. Azula might resent that he's helped me so much, but she'll always be my father's favorite. I can't hope for that position anymore- I'd have to be Michael Jordan for my father to even look at me. Iroh, though? He loved me before I could beat anyone one-v-one. And she has no reason to be spiteful. If she took ten minutes out of her day to go to his counseling office, and try to get a little advice, she'd leave with a whole new mindset on life and some tea. But Azula will never do that.

"You might make more friends if you tone down the rich girl vibes," I point out, and her eyes practically bug out of her head. Everything about Azula is perfect. Her grades, her basketball skills, her looks, her clothes. With perfect porcelain skin, flawless features, and beautiful black hair, she could have any guy she wanted if she toned down the psychopath. Her hair is in a bun, with face framing bangs and chopsticks holding it up impossibly perfectly. Right now, she's wearing a fairly tight, silky red top, a black jacket, an expensive purse,and black skinny ripped jeans, with expensive black heels and a perfect manicure. I peer at her nails a little closer- long and black, with red flames. 

"You might make more friends if you weren't so pathetic!" She laughed, kicking her feet like a child and turning back to her phone. I just grumbled, sinking into my seat. All I wanted to do this year was blend in. My hair was down, shadowing my face and the scar I'd rather forget. I had on my red varsity Nation High hoodie, with the black stripes down the sleeves, black pants, and red, white and black Air Jordans. 

This year, at the very least, I just wanted somebody not to hate me. 

***

Sokka:

Lunch on my very first day had finally came. While part of me knew I should probably find some other juniors to sit with, I didn't care and sat with Katara. She was talking to some sweet white-haired girl named Yue, and gave me a big smile when I walked by.

"Of course you can sit here," Katara answered my unasked question. I grinned, and sat across from her. I tried to give Yue a wave, but she seemed distracted. Thank spirits for Katara. She looked amazing yet nerdy, in a brown sweater over a white button up and tight jeans, along with sky blue high tops and as always, our mother's necklace. I had stuck with the blue sweatshirt rolled up to my sleeves and gray cargo shorts. Of course, everyone here was so attractive I felt severely underdressed. Yue was in a pretty blue slip dress and her hair was all tied up in some elaborate, complicated do.

"Hey guys!" I heard a cheerful young voice and turned to see Aang in his usual ensemble (orange hoodie, yellow shoes, and weird aarow tattoo on his head) shadowed by a short girl his grade clinging to his elbow and scowling.

"Hi Aang!" Katara said a little too eagerly, and I shot her a curious look.

"Who's that?" I ask, pointing at the girl. 

"I'm Toph," she snarled, but slid into the seat next to me. She had thick black hair pulled into disastrous space buns, and had beige overall shorts on top of a plain green shirt. She wasn't wearing any shoes, which I found odd. She was cute, though, like every other girl here. Good thing I wasn't into girls, or I'd be in serious trouble.

"Toph's a wrestler," Aang proudly proclaimed.

"Why aren't you wearing any shoes?" I poked her feet and she hissed.

"I'm blind, stupid!" She retorted, and I clamped my mouth shut. That explains why she was staring at nothing, and her eyes, hidden by messy black bangs, were blank and cloudy. Everyone at the table exchanged a look, except Toph of course, and Aang who still looked incredibly pleased with himself. 

"I think it's wonderful how diverse this school is," Katara awkwardly mentioned. "Like, um, Yue, did you see that kid with the scar?"

"You mean Zuko?" Yue said, with a look of distaste on her face. It didn't suit her- she looked more built for dreamy, elegant expressions.

"That's the one," Katara said. 

"Oh, boy, do I have stories," Yue laughed, but she seemed sad anyway. Then, she leaned over to Katara and proceeded to spend the rest of the lunch telling her all sorts of horrible stories about the poor scarred kid. I scanned the cafeteria, trying to see if he had our lunch, and caught a glance of a kid sitting alone across the cafeteria, but I couldn't tell if it was him, so no luck. I tried to start a conversation with Aang and Toph, but conversations are difficult with Aang sometimes. He just has his head too far in the clouds. I've only seen him break down once, and it was the day we met him in the airport, when he told us he was a refugee from some country far away and most his people had been wiped out due to a bloody war. So I gave him a little leeway. Toph, on the other hand? I didn't sense any major trauma behind her, but Aang loves adopting messed up kids, calling them "new friends," and then getting them to teach him whatever they know about any sort of martial art or any other sport. (Aang is a runner in track, and one of the best I've ever seen, but he's also amazing at anything else. Well, except martial arts. But he's devoted to mastering those too.) Toph was a wrestler, which I figured was close enough. Toph just seemed... odd.

Well, she was blind. I decided to give her some leeway too. Maybe she just needed a mature older brother figure. Like me!

"Wait! Zuko? With a scar? Sokka, we DO know him?" I hear a voice, distant in the back of my mind.

"What?" I asked dreamily, busy staring at a pair of basketball players walking past our table.

"Sokka!" 

"What, what," I say, snapping back to reality to see a wide-eyed Katara. "Is this about the scar kid you've been so fascinated with, for 'diversity' sake and whatnot?" I put quotations around the word, and Katara throws a cracker at me. 

"No! Well, I mean, yeah, it is about him. But I'm not fascinated! In fact, I'm sickened. Remember at the airport, the group of spoiled rich kids in the terminal near ours coming from vacation?" I remembered attractive kids dripping with wealth and snot. Yeah, I remember.

"Mhm," I say, keeping my eyes trained on my sister, ignoring Yue's gaze. Spirits, I hope she doesn't have a crush on me. That's going to be awkward.

"Remember that one kid who stole my necklace?"

"Mhm," I say. I got it back for her no problem, I'm not even sure the jerk wanted to steal it in the first place.

"That was him! Zuko! The scar kid!"

"Ok?" I say, inquisitively. "I don't see why it matters?" She just scoffs, and spends the rest of lunch seething at anger at the kid she literally saw once today. Whatever. Girls are weird. Speaking of girls....... do I really have soccer tryouts tonight with the girls team at the same time? That's humiliating. 

The scar kid I barely remembered faded to the back of my memory, and Katara continued to seeth.

***

Zuko:

Well, lunch was terrible.

It wasn't as if I sat with anybody last year, or any years before that, save elementary school when I sat with my sister's friends. I just told myself it was because people were scared of me. Now, though, that I've changed, people still don't want to sit with me. They simply don't like me. 

My class right after it is biology. Biology is nice. It's calming. It doesn't take a lot of skill, just a little hard work, so anyone can be good at it. Except, it appears, the boy next to me. My... lab partner?

Our teacher, Mr. Fong, is going over the syllabus, and this kid could not care less. I'm sitting up straight in my seat with posture that's been trained in me at birth, but leaning against the seat just a bit that's more comfortable, and I'm trying to focus on the syllabus, but I'm having a hard time. Instead of daydreaming about basketball practice after school, however, I'm sneaking glances at the boy. He's stretched out over his seat, legs and arms sprawled everywhere, and he seemed incredibly distracted staring at the ceiling and fidgeting. He's tan, and his hair is pulled in a stupid ponytail. He notices me glancing at him, and sits up immediately, clumsily but quickly.

"Hey, I'm Sokka!" He extends a hand, obviously eager to make a friend. I hesitate for a moment, glancing at Mr. Fong, who seems quite dedicated to his diagram of the syllabus (?) on the wall, and reach out to shake it. His hands are warm, just like his grin. 

"Zuko," I say, tilting my head to face him. It all comes together at once: I can see it. He sees the scar, he hears my name, and his eyebrows raise just a fraction.

"The jerk from the airport," he says, but there's no hate in his voice, just recognition. I recognize him too, all of a sudden. His bright blue eyes, the tattoo visible wrapped around his bicep (his sleeve pushed up), the ponytail. He's the girl with the necklace's sister. I wince. Of course. I didn't mean to take her necklace, I just found it on the ground and gave it right to him when he demanded it.

"Yeah, I-"

"Not a big deal!" He says cheerfully, and tilts his head at me. "Hey, what lunch do you have?"

"Um, B," I say, sort of blown away at how he moved on so quickly.

"You could sit with us, if you want," he says. When I raise an eyebrow, he quickly adds, "to piss off my sister. I don't think she likes you. Plus, I have a friend who would LOVE for you to teach him basketball.

"Um, ok," I say, and start to say something else, only to be shushed by Mr. Fong as he moves on to part three of his syllabus battle plan.

***

Sokka:

Soccer practice. Well, more like Sokka practice- get it? I was basically made for this role! Or roll. Get it? Like a ball rolling?

Nobody appreciates my sense of humor. 

I was the best soccer player in my village, so these tryouts shouldn't be a problem. I mean, come on, there are girls here! 

I walk over to the bleachers, taking in the for the very first time just how fancy and huge this school is. The soccer field is neatly manicured, and next to it is a perfect basebell field, marching band field, track fields, etc. etc. Behind me is the sports wing of the school, with the weightlifting room, gymnasium, basketball courts, dojos, expansive swimming pool, and more I couldn't figure out. Over the fence I can see the pristine beach, with volleyball court. 

"Hey, new boy," a voice shakes me out. I look to see a girl standing in front of me, with short brown hair, long eyeliner, and a soccer ball tucked under her arm. "You here for tryouts?"

"Yeah," I say, looking around her. "Where's the coach? The other boys?" I do see a handful of kids behind her, boys and girls, but they don't look like the rest of the team. One even has the practice jersey on backwards.

"The players from last year don't have to tryout. It's co-ed. I'm team captain, so I'm running tryouts," she says, rolling her eyes.

"You?" I say, incredulously. 

"Yeah, me," she says, hands on her hips. "You got a problem with that?"

"No, no," I say innocently, raising my hands in defense, letting my ragtag soccer bag fall to the ground. "It's just...." I start walking to the bleachers.

"Just what? I'm a girl?" She retorts.

"Well, yeah," I say, tying my laces and standing up proudly. Sure, Gran-Gran has to fix them every week because they're literally falling apart. They were my dad's, and I wouldn't part with them for the world. "Boys are just naturally better at soccer than girls. It's just biology."

"Just biology," she says sarcastically, and then shakes herself and gives me a sweet smile. "Well, if you're so much better, than why don't you start running drills with me?"

"No problem," I tell her, flexing. How hard can it be, against a girl in eyeliner? She calls around the other kids trying out, and then offers to go against me. I accept obviously, and she has me stand in front of the goal. I'll just go for my signature Sokka Defense move, always works against-

She moves like lightning, the ball moving between her feet so fast I can barely see it. She rushes towards me, feinting at the last second to send me sliding in the mud the opposite direction and the ball squarely in the mud. I stumble up, covered in mud to hear all the other kids wailing with laughter as Suki stands proudly in front of the goal.

"I was going easy on you," I sputter, and she shrugs innocently.

"Want to go again?" She offers, and I nod, enthusiastically getting back in position. She beats me again.

And again.

And again.

Eventually, I'm too exhausted to continue, and have to sit on the bleachers for a couple minutes watching her lead tryouts. She didn't even break a sweat.

Katara would be disappointed in me, and so would my mother, I realize. I think of Toph, the little girl at lunch, being a champion wrestler. I think of Katara, at swim practice right now, and no doubt absolutely dominating. I think of Suki, her soccer skills exponentially better than mine, and I feel a wave of guilt through me. I need to make the soccer team here, and there's only one person to help with that.

"Suki," I say, awkwardly shuffling up behind her. She just finished sending away all the kids who didn't make it. Poor schmucks, and I would be among them if I didn't get this absolutely right.

"Here to teach me more about the biology of soccer?" She sarcastically remarks, rolling her eyes, but she turns way from the team to face me.

"I realize I don't deserve this, but I would be honored if you would teach me how to play soccer like you. I have so much to learn," I say, trying my best to be earnest and not fall to the ground in a puddle of humiliation.

"Well, I don't normally take players under my wing," she contemplates, and my stomach sinks to the floor. 

"Please make an exception," I beg, sinking to my knees without realizing it. I don't even care. To play like Suki, is worth a lifetime of humiliation. (Well, maybe not a lifetime. But at least these couple minutes.) I can tell she likes it, because she holds her hand out to me, helping me up.

"I'll teach you," she promises. "But you have to follow all our team traditions."

"Yes, anything!" I eagerly say. 

"And I do mean all of them." I peer over her shoulder to see the returning team members coming to meet the rookies. They're mostly girls, but not all of them. Their jerseys are a dark green, their hair is all in ponytails. Suki points at her own ponytail. They're all wearing matching scrunchies, and when I turn back to Suki, she hands me one.

"Just for practices,"I try weakly, but she gives me a wicked grin.

"Nope."

***

Zuko:

Basketball practice was....

Better than expected?

'Zula's team didn't practice today, so I didn't have to worry about her. I just focused on playing, thinking about everything my uncle taught me. The other kids pretty much left me alone after practice, so I just walked outside alongside the beach. I saw the other sports practices getting out. Baseball boys flooded past me, a surfer girl accidentally bumped into me, and soccer just got let out. I saw a kid sitting by the water, wearing a practice soccer jersey. He's covered in dry mud. I walked up to him, realizing it was Sokka from biology. I sit next to him, keeping my shoes safely away from the water, and he turns and gives me the same crooked grin he always does.

"Girls are really good at soccer, it turns out," he tells me. I don't know what to say. There's no context, so I just nod.

"Um, yeah. Basketball too," I say awkwardly. He raises his eyebrows just a fraction and notices my duffle bag sitting next to me.

"Nice bag," he notes, and I blush a little bit, surprisingly. I feel a little bad: mine is state of the art, very expensive, the only kind my father will allow. His soccer bag looks like it's been through a blender.

"Thanks," I say, trying to get past the uncomfortable lump in my throat.

We don't say much more, which surprises me. He seems the talkative type. Not that I'm complaining. He's fun to talk to.

But it's also just as nice to sit here in silence with him, staring at the water. I never used to like the water before.

Edit: okokokok i know it's super bad and it's super long but gimme a break. i WILL edit it, i promise, but for now, i just really wanted to publish something. thanks xoxo


	2. Time Skip

Two months later: October 29th at Nation High

Sokka:

Have you ever had a friend?

I mean, have you ever had a ride-or-die, wanna spend every waking moment with them, you get along so perfectly that everything spills out and you barely even have to talk? Their mere presence is comforting? They're basically your brother but better: yeah, there's arguments. You aren't exactly alike. But that's the amazing part about it. Unlike siblings, you choose each other because your personalities fit so perfectly.

I used to think I had friends. Well, I mean, I had Katara. She was always my best friend, and it's not like that title has changed. It's just...... different. Back at the South Pole, we were pretty much the only kids our age, and we spent almost every waking moment together. We were KataraAndSokka. Here, in Nation High, we had our own groups, our own friends. We're Katara, the pretty, popular sophomore girl who's a phenomenal swimmer, and Sokka, the second-best only to Suki soccer player. (Oh, and incredibly rugged and handsome.) We're still in the same big friend group, and we still sit together at lunch, and we still eat dinner together and play board games with Gran-Gran and attend each other's competitions. But we're not joined at the hip. It's nice. We go out for bubble tea after school, just the gang: me, Katara, Toph, Aang, Suki, and Zuko. Oh, there's kids who hang out sometime. There's a sophomore named Haru who's a wrestler, and he spends most his time geeking out with Toph or flirting with oblivious Katara. And Yue, who honestly doesn't say much. But Zuko.

Zuko is my ride or die, my platonic soulmate, my best friend in the entire world. Katara still hates his guts, but the other kids in the gang like him, especially Aang. He's really become a part of the group, thanks to me (not to brag.) And honestly? I would go insane without him. A friend my own age, much less a boy? Wouldn't even be realistic in the South Pole. He does have disaster fashion sense, however. Not to mention, a boy who's practically a genius? Speaking of-

"Hey, Zuko," I hiss, kicking him from underneath my desk. "What did you get for number 5?" He rolls his golden eyes at me, flicking his head over so I can see his disappointed face. 

"Sokka, we're halfway through the test and you're only through number 5?" He mutters, his eyes flicking from the carefully surveying Mr. Fong and me. For some reason, the little gestures fills me up with warmth and I give him a grin. He softens a little bit, his eyes crinkling, and slides his paper over. I smile with satisfaction as I copy answer 5 down, something about chromosomes, and fill in the next three or four answers for good measure before he slips it back to his desk. I try to focus on the rest of the test, but my ADHD has never been good for desks. Normally, I survey the classroom, and this room has so much to take in: a huge tank full of all sorts of weird critters, posters covering the walls in an orderly fashion, the experiments behind Fong's desk. Instead, I keep glancing over at Zuko, his long black hair getting in the way of his eyes narrowed in concentration, only his leg tapping to give away a sign he's nervous, his hands moving steady and sure as he fills in the little bubbles. Ah, I'm going to fail. 

But it's nice to have a friend.

***

Zuko:

After school gets out, Sokka and I walk downtown as we slowly head towards his house. Most of the gang had practice for something or another, (Katara had swimming, Toph and the other wrestling kid- Haru?- had wrestling, Aang had some sort of karate practice, and the white-haired girl, Yue, had theater practice.) Soccer and basketball don't have practice tonight, though. I'm surprised Suki isn't with us, as her and Sokka are very close. I'm glad, though, and I don't know why. As we walk, talking about the biology test Sokka definitely failed, he bounces with every step next to me, his every feature fitting the cloudy, almost-stormy sky, not a testament to his personality. He looks a little intimidating, lean, tan muscles, tattoo around his arm that's hidden by his blue and gray windbreaker, his head shaved on the sides and his ponytail always tied neatly up. It doesn't take long, though, to see the real Sokka, even by looking at him. Braided bracelets always rest on his wrists, a testament to Katara and her swim teammates. The stupid soccer scrunchie blends in with his hair around his ponytail, and he's always grinning, that stupid, crooked, smile. Plus, he never sits still.

"Hey, hey Zuko-" he says, shocking me out my stupor. We stop walking and now we're staring at each other in the middle of the sidewalk, bustling people going around us. I realize I've been staring at him and quickly look away, instead staring at the sky. "You okay?" He asks, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Yup, yup," I promise quickly, and turn and start walking again. I look back to see him shrug and then jog to catch up.

"So, as I was saying," he begins, and I roll my eyes. "What's the plan for, you know, Halloween? What's there to do here?"

"Um, what do you mean," I say awkwardly. 

"You know, in the South Pole, there was nothing to do. I mean, we had some weird traditions that I won't get into-" he starts rambling, his hands flying as he talks a thousand miles a second. "But here, in Nation High, there's so many kids! Do y'all do that, uh, the candy-or-prank thing? Boo-or-bars?" He starts laughing at his own joke, and it's so contagious I start laughing too. Some old woman with her grandson looks at us funny as she passes by, and that just makes me laugh harder. 

"WhaT?" I say in between laughs, holding my stomach as we walk. "Do you mean trick-or-treat? Boo-or-bars- what does that even mean?"

"You know, like candy BARS," he says defensively, all while gasping for breath.

"No," I say after we can finally talk normally again. "Trick-or-treating is for little kids... plus, me and Azula stopped doing it extra early after my mom died." 

"Why didn't your dad- oh," Sokka stops himself. I glance over at him. He's not staring at the floor in awkwardness or staring at me with sympathy like most people do when I mention my parents. He's just looking at the sky, the clouds reflecting in his blue eyes turning them almost gray. When he catches me looking at him, he glances down and gives me a small smile. Sokka knows.

Well, he doesn't know all of it. He knows my dad is the owner of a huge corporation that basically rules Azulon. He doesn't know that my dad, and my grandpa, and my great-grandpa before him run off of scams, felonies, weapons, drugs, wars, and shady foreign work that I choose to ignore. He knows we're rich. He doesn't know HOW rich. He knows I will probably never invite him to my expensive and empty penthouse, instead preferring the bustling and warm energy of his little house. He doesn't know it's not just embarassment: it's fear. He knows my dad is cruel to me. He doesn't know it was him that, in a fit of anger when I was young, burned my face. He knows my mom is dead. He doesn't know why. Then again, neither do I. He knows Azula is a bit strange. He doesn't know she's a psychopath who's just as scared as Dad is. 

Azula. As we continue to walk in comforting silence, I think of less comforting thoughts. Azula.

When she was young, very young, I thought she would be like Mom, warm and friendly, and I would be like Dad, confident and powerful. It didn't take long for me to figure out all of that was a lie. Mom was loving, but to us only. She wasn't warm and friendly to other people out of her own choice: it was fear. I'm pretty sure she didn't have a choice to marry my dad, and I'm pretty sure he's the reason she's gone. Dad is confident and powerful, he's a monster. And Azula? Azula is just like him. She's only fourteen, but I can already tell she's twisted. Maybe it's how she reacts to our messed up family life. How did I react?

For most of my life, I was angry, spiteful, determined to show my father. Now, thanks to Iroh, I'm not angry anymore. But Iroh couldn't fill all the gaps that literally the rest of my vacant life was supposed to fill. So who was?

Maybe it's Sokka. 

***

Sokka:

"So, about the Halloween plans?" I hate breaking the silence- even if silence is comfortable with Zuko, he seemed deep in thought, his eyebrows wrinkled. 

"Um, yeah," he says, breaking himself out of his thoughts to look at me with wide eyes. "So, trick-or-treat- and, no, we're never calling it 'boo-or-bars" ever again- is kinda of a little kid thing. Nobody does it in high school. So there was really nothing you did at the South Pole?"

"Nah," I say, shrugging. As a matter of fact we did. Well, me and Katara did, and they were humiliating to say the least. "Well, what have you done the past couple years?"

"Not much," he admits. I know Zuko well and enough to know that means 'nothing because I was a little bitch and nobody liked me.'

"Well, we have to do something this year!" I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air so excitedly I accidentally hit the dad of a passing family. He laughs as I apologize profusely, and we go along our way, taking our time to my house. "This is my first Halloween, Zuko. Please?" I stop walking and put my hands on his shoulder, putting my head on my hands and making the most pouty face I possibly can. He looks down at me smirking, through his bangs, and I breath in a little too quickly. That isn't fair. How can such an obnoxious person look that- that- you, know? 

His eyes soften and he relents, putting hishands up in surrender, and presumes walking, leaving me a step behind him, trying to figure out the weird feeling rushing through me. I give up after a moment and follow him.

"Fine, fine, we can do something. Together."

"What about Aang's party? I suggest, and he barks a laugh, before realizing I'm serious. 

"Aang's Halloween 'costume dancy party'? He's a rookie to high school Halloween too, you remember? It's gonna be all cheesy about friendship and stuff, you realize that?" I sling an arm around him, leaning against him, feeling eagerly to feel him beneath my arm for some reason.

"Oh, c'mon. We're cheesy about friendship and stuff."

"And stuff," he says dubiously, and I look away, blushing.

"Almost everybody in all of Nation High is going," I remind him once I can find my words again. "And it's on the beach. Even if Aang acts lame, all the popular kids will take it over."

"Plus, everyone likes Aang," he says, almost to himself. "Ok, fine, we can go."

-

-

\- 

Art credit for this chapter: Instagram @doodling_lc   
(If you wanna see the art, check out this story on wattpad! Under the same title and username.)


	3. The Photos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: sorry this is gonna be a short chapter with mostly Zuko focus! but it's gonna be *spicy* :)

***

Zuko:

We finally leave the skyscrapers and city shops to get to the edge of the city, where Sokka's tiny house sits, only a block away from the beach. I love Sokka's house, almost as much as I love Sokka. In a platonic way, obviously. As I think that, I started sweating just a tiny bit. What a weird thought.

Sokka leads me through the tiny sidewalk up to his house, and as he puts the house key in, I take a deep breath. It smells like an equal bit his grandmother's plants, covering the lawn (he told me she'd never grown anything in her life, so when she moved here, she planted anything she could with the help of Sokka and Katara,) the ocean, the city, and Sokka. We walk in to the crwoded living room, where Gran-Gran sits, holding some tea. She offers some to me and Sokka, reminding me of Iroh. I take a sip. Iroh would be impressed. Maybe I should set the two up.

"We're gonna go play some video games, ok, Gran-Gran?" Sokka says, bumping his left and then right cheek against hers in a South Pole tradition. He does it so nonchalantly, it's sort of cute. She smiles and nods.

"You have fun, boys," she says, and gives me a warm smile. Ah, if only Katara treated me like that.

"We will, Gran-Gran," he promises, and then grabs my hand and pulls me downstairs. Before we race downstairs, I see sweet Gran-Gran catch a glimpse of our clasped hands and raise an eyebrow before turning back to her tea. I blush furiously, but by the time we're downstairs in their unfurnished, dark basement the blush is gone. Sokka immediately goes to work getting their ancient tv to work as I take in their basement. I've been here a lot, and it feels so much more like home than actual home. It was Sokka's to do with what he wanted, and you can tell. We put up some hasty drywall sectioning it into three parts; his bedroom, the bathroom with a shower that barely worked, and this main room. He didn't bother to finish the walls, just slapped some posters up, brought in a musty couch, and the tv and video game console. Katara threw a fit a couple weeks ago, (even though she has the biggest bedroom so she never comes down here,) so I helped him add a little more 'pizzazz' as he put it. We strung up some clearance Christmas lights, put down a hideous shag rug, and got a shelf for his video games. I offered to bring stuff over from my house- I could afford to cover it all in gold- but he refused, so I did the next best thing and brought over all my games. I never played by myself anyway.

As he curses and kicks the old tv, I sneak into his bedroom to put our stuff in there. I never linger in his room, even as much as I want to. I think the fact that I want to is what makes me leave, but before I leave, I see something new. Past his bed, right where he sleeps, I see a handful of pictures pinned to the walls. Checking back on Sokka to see him preoccupied with the now-shattered remote, I creep over to look at them. There's a couple with him and Katara, one with him, Katara, and Gran-Gran, and an old one that looks like his entire family, his dad and his mom, and one with the entire gang. There's one of me and him, too, covered in paint and bruises from when he accidentally tipped a whole shelf of paint on us in the grocery store. I smile seeing it, and then I glance down to see a shoebox poking out from under his bed. I shouldn't- I know I shouldn't. This is a rabbit hole of personal information: I see pictures on his wall, then I see box under his bed, when does it end? I start to stand up but something stops me. I glance at the door, hesitating, and then in one smooth motion pull it out and open the lid. There's a couple of objects that catch my eye first- dog tags, a big blue orb, a scrap of animal fur- but I ignore them. They seem way too personal. I see at the bottom a bundle of photoes, tied hastily together with twine, and the only thing that makes me pull it out is my face looking back at me.

I slip it in my pocket and nudge the box back under the bed, walking out of his room.

"I'm using the bathroom," I announce, and he just grunts, wedged behind the tv, his legs waving comically.

"I just want to play Death and Doom V. 2!" He shouts. I ignore him and walk into the bathroom, sitting down where there's practically no room, between the shower with no curtain and the unfinished sink and spread them out. I was right- they're all pictures of me. There's not very many, maybe twenty or so. Most of them are just me caught unaware (not all, though, I recognize one from when I stuck my tongue out at his camera when he told me to). I recognize most of them, they're just from times we were both together. It's not like he photographed me sleeping or anything. There's some of me playing basketball, a couple of me smiling or laughing with Aang or Toph or somebody. Some feel a bit more personal: me standing on the beach, feet in the water, about to turn over my shoulder to shout something to Sokka, me yawning as we walk home from school, me focusing on a frog dissection in biology.

I don't know how to feel, honestly. It's sweet, don't get me wrong. But this doesn't feel like something some random kid in high school would do. It's both a sophisticated and time-consuming gesture and a hidden and childish thing to do. It's so unlike Sokka to deal with feelings like this, and yet this feels more like Sokka than anything I've seen him do. It's contradictory.

Why does he have to do that? Why can't he be logical, like science? Why does he have to be so brave and confident yet vulnerable and kind at the time? The worst part? Why am I still here? Why am I still his friend, sitting in his basement, hanging on to his every word, noticing every little contradiction he does? Why am I still staring at the pictures? Why am I slipping one of us two, standing in the sun, into my pocket? Why- 

"That is very personal, Zuko." I hear him say, and I dart my head up in panic, accidentally falling backwards. He stands in the door, his body and his voice cool and calm. His eyes, though? They're hurt and confused, for real.

Ugh. That's pretty contradictary.

"Um, Sokka, I can explain-"

"What is there to explain, Zuko?" He asks, sighing. He looks at me and breaks just a little, falling apart just a little. His shoulders sag. "What were you doing in that box? I'm pretty sure we've always trusted each other, and now?"

"Sokka, you can still trust me-" I try, trying to sound rational and not pleading.

"You can ask," he says softly. "I don't know the answer." While I stand there, grasping for words, he pulls my backpack out of my room and tosses it at me. I catch it automatically, still standing there numbly.

"Why?" I say, even though neither of us knows the answer.

"I don't know, Zuko," he says helplessly. He seemed so pissed a minute ago, and now he's a wreck. He runs his hands through his hair, making his ponytail even more a mess. I clench my jaw as he glances back at me, eyes full of confusion, hair a wreck. Why does he have to look like that? "What would you say if I said it's just becuase we're really good friends? And I've never had a friend before? So I don't know how to deal with it?"

"Maybe," I say dubiously, still holding my backpack like a shield between me and an angry , confused Sokka. "I've never really had a friend either. It's fine, Sokka," I assure him, walking over the pictures to put my hand on his shoulder. He still stares at the ground. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have looked in the box," I apologize.

"You didn't see anything else in there," he asks, but it's more of a statement. I hesitate and then I nod.

"I'm really sorry." I then drop my beg, hearing it hit the ground with a thud, and pulled him into a hug, tight, and fierce. I feel him tense up, and then totally melt into my arms. I think he's crying, but I can't tell.

Feelings are complicated.

***

Sokka:

Spirits, I'm the stupidest person on the face of the Earth.

All hail me, the biggest idiot on this side of the known universe.

I lead an army of clowns and bad decisions, and I wreck the first friendship I've had, and I don't know why.

That is until he pulls me into the best hug I've ever had, then I know why.

The answer's even worse. It's worse than the terrified and betrayed feeling I had when I saw him with the pictures (which we aren't going to talk about.) It's worse than thinking he's gonna leave because I'm such a freak. (It's not as bad as my mom dying or my dad leaving, but it's definitely just as scary.) 

The hug is amazing, and the moment I start to cry, he holds me tighter. I showed emotion, real emotion for like the first time since we've known each other, and that just brought him closer to me. God, he's perfect. 

I do my best to not be vulnerable. I do this by being as honest as I can. If I'm constantly relaxed and joking and never secretive, no one will suspect I have anything to hide, any real emotions besides the ones I show. But I was vulnerable in the shoebox, and Zuko found it, and he doesn't hate me. 

And then I know why, why I deserve the biggest clown award. Because I, Sokka, am head over heels for Zuko, the first best friend I've ever had. Yeah, you heard that right. I've got a crush. 

Well. Shit.

This is gonna be a very interesting next couple of days (or however long I can ignore my feelings and not ruin the very best thing I've ever had.)


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: this is halloween 

***

Zuko:

We're walking home from school the next day, and everything is the same as it was two days ago.

Well, not exactly. Sokka's different. Not in a bad way. He just seems more aware of our friendship. More grateful, maybe? 

Hm. I can't exactly describe it.

I feel different too. Today is Halloween, and he invited me to come over right after our practices got done so we can get ready for Aang's party. I'm more aware, too, how lucky I am to have found Sokka. And I'm also more aware of how little I actually understand him.

"So, I'm thinking we dress up as your uncle!" He says excitedly, panning his hands out in display as we enter his house. We've spent most of the walk trying to come up with costume ideas.

"Both of us?" I ask dubiously. 

"Yeah, yeah, you're right, that won't work," he mutters to himself, like he's taking notes. "Maybe if we did it like a horse costume-" I ignore him and snatch the key out of his hands, unlocking the door myself. I see Katara and Toph sitting sprawled out on the floor, already in costume and carving pumpkins. Katara is dressed as a witch with makeup that would make Suki jealius, an extravagant black dress, and a witch's hat. Toph is dressed as a pirate- it's pretty clear Katara dressed her. Katara's pumpkin is cute, with a toothy smile and cute eyes. Toph is just stabbing her pumpkin with alarming excitement, pumpkin seeds and flesh flying everywhere. A little piece lands in Sokka's hair and he continues to watch Toph with growing alarm. Without thinking, I reach over and pluck it out. He turns quickly so he's facing me, looking up at me, face inches from my face. He's about two inches shorter than me- how have I never noticed that?

"Um, pumpkin piece," I say stupidly, and he blushes, stepping away and into the kitchen to find a snack.

"If you don't like my *adventurous* carving style you can feel free to donate your eyes," Toph says dryly, and Sokka laughs, stepping away. I step away too, shoving my hands in my pockets. I glance over to see Katara merely raise an eyebrow and turns back to her pumpkin. 

***

Sokka:

That's ok! That's ok. We can pretend that didn't happen. We can pretend we didn't see his face in high definition mere inches from mine. We can pretend we didn't see his golden eyes wide in surprise, didn't feel his warm energy radiating off of him. It's fine.

We descend into the basement with our prize (popcorn), throwing our bags on the floor, and flop on the couch, resuming our normal. We sling over each other, eating our weight in popcorn, and there's no weird awkwardness at being so close. It's fine, and this time it really is.

Can't it be like this all the time? Can't we be just normal friends all the time?

"We could go as video game characters," he offers half-heartedly after forty five minutes of sitting in silence. 

"That's pathetic," I tell him, and he smacks me.

No, it's not," he laughs. "Listen, sundown is in like thirty minutes-"

"Damn soccer practice taking too long," I mutter, but he keeps going.

"-and we have to dress up as something or Aang will have our heads."

"That's true," I relent. "But we also have thirty minutes to find and put together a good costume."

"Aang is gonna be so disappointed in us," Zuko groans, throwing his head back on the couch. Then, all of a sudden, he snaps his head up so fast I'm afraid he'll get whiplash.

"What?" I ask, alarmed. He looks at me for an uncomfortably long moment, his smile widening into a grin as he looks me up and down. I should say it makes me nervous, but it just makes me all hot and fluttery inside. Damn. That isn't fair. Just before I reach over and kiss him (and ruin everything good in my life) he reaches over and grabs my wrists, shaking my hands excitedly. Heat melts to my face.

"We can go as each other?" He exclaims, almost bouncing with excitement. I don't even have time to note how cute it is before the confusion kicks in and I cock my head. 

"Sorry, come again?"

"We can dress up as each other! We can wear our uniforms and our lettermen jackets and stuff. C'mon, you're not THAT much shorter than me!" He stands up, and my awkwardness fades away as I stand up too, indignantly.

"I am NOT shorter than you!"

"Ok, shortie," he says, laughing as he rifles through his bag. 

"This is the worst idea ever," I moan, but I grab my backpack and start rifling through it too. I almost start to make sure I don't grab anything too sweaty or gross, but remember: it's Zuko. Zuko who once didn't shower after practice for a week. Zuko who once bit my toe (hard) when I shoved my disgusting feet in his face. I grabbed a pair of gray cargo shorts, my soccer jersey, my letterman jacket (still embarrassingly bare besides soccer stuff) and my tennis shoes. I almost handed him my soccer cleats, just to watch him struggle with those all night, but I don't. 

"Here's-" I start to say, but I get stopped as he throws a pile of clothes in my face. "Oh, gross, Zuko!" I complain.

"Thanks!" He says a little too brightly as he snatches my clothes from my hand and races into the bathroom. Spirits, he's eager. Grumbling, I pick his stuff up and head into my bedroom, where I lay it out. Black shorts, his basketball jersey, his jacket, and are those basketball socks and shoes? Suspiciously, I pick one sock up and give it a hesitant sniff before shrugging. Clean enough.

I put his stuff on awkwardly before standing in the cracked full-length mirror, surveying myself. After making muscles for a moment or two (obviously) I actually examine the ensemble. His jacket is a little too big on me, but that's ok. I almost look like Zuko if I put my hand up and cover my face. 

"I am Zuko," I mutter in my best Zuko impression. "I like math and LOGICAL things, and I'm annoyingly straight. I'm also a snoop." I sure these walls are soundproof.

I step out into the living room, surprised to see him laying on the couch already. Well, I did take a while.

"I'm done," I announce grandly, spreading my arms. "I present.... Sokka-Zuko!" He stands up and I let my arms fall as I take in Zuko in my clothes.

The blue and black look VERY good against his skin tone. Like.... that's not fair kind of good. My jacket fits him perfectly, mayyyyyyybe a little too snugly. The first thing I realize, though, with sinking dread?

This is a lot more than a crush.

***

Zuko:

Ok, Sokka didn't have to look that good in my clothes. That just, isn't fair. Even I didn't look that good in my clothes. It wasn't jealousy that filled me, although that would've made sense. I wasn't sure what it was. 

My jersey and jacket hung loosely off his lean, muscular body, and my Air Jordans actually suited him ridiculously well. The red contrasted his brilliantly blue eyes in another one of his experimenting contradictions, but the black and red against his tan skin made me uncomfortably uneasy. Not because it didn't look good, but because it definitely, definitely did. 

"I'm Sokka," I mocked him, trying to match his easygoing tone, which was difficult to get over the lump in my throat. "You might think I'm stupid, but I'm actually brilliant. Brilliant in a stupid way, that is."

"You think I'm brilliant?" He asked, his eyes widening as he stepped forward. It wasn't a tease, it was an actual genuine question. 

"No," I quickly covered, stuffing my hands in my pockets. Well, the pockets of his jacket. "No, you're an idiot." His face broke out into one of his stupid grins that took over his whole face.

"I heard it, Zuko," he leaned over and whispered in my ear, and I gulped, before he playfully ruffled my hair and strutted away. Once I regained my composure, I grabbed his ponytail and pulled the scrunchie out.

"Hey!" He complained, turning around with an indignant pout on his face. I quickly tied my hair up, trying my best to make it look like Zuko's, and gave him a smug grin. He shook his head like a dog, and glared up at me. I gulped, again. I had never once seen Sokka's hair out of it's ponytail. Sure, when we had sleepovers, it got messy, but it was totally down now, framing his face. "Now you've seen me with my hair down. Happy?"

"Sure," I stuttered. When he scrunched up his nose and narrowed his eyes, still unhappy, I was shook how different he looked. 

"Your ponytail looks nice," he muttered, kicking the ground. I blushed, and raked my hand through my hair, embarrassed.

"Well, shall we go?" I offer, pointing at the stairs.

"We shall," he proclaims dramatically, doing a stupid little bow thing, his hair flopping in his face as he stands up and we start walking out of the basement.

"Aang is gonna kill us," I curse as I check the time.

"Ah, it's fine. He's like, 4'11''. Worst case scenario, we throw him into the ocean," Sokka jokes as we enter their living room.

"Then Katara will kill us," I point out as I notice that both her and Toph have already left.

"What do you mean?" He asks, opening the front door for me. 

"Haven't you noticed?" I say quizzically, the fresh air hitting our faces as we start walking down the sidewalk. "Aang's obsessed with her, and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual."

"Ew, gross," he retches, clutching his stomach and knocking into me. "I do not need to hear about my sister's love life."

"That's fair," I laugh, pushing him away.

Halloween dance party? 

Here we come.


	5. Chapter 5

a/n: ok, so this night is going to be drawn out over a couple parts. sorry not sorry! also pleasepleaseplease comment or anything so i can know people actually like this. ok, love y'all!

***

Sokka:

We arrive at the party fifteen minutes late, or 'fashionably late' as Zuko puts it. And yes, if anyone knows fashion, it's me and Zuko. I love shopping almost more than I love soccer or STEM class, and that's saying something, and I've never seen Zuko repeat an outfit or turn down a mall trip. Also, these shoes are to die for. Too bad they cost more than I do. Maybe I can have Katara steal some? Not that I condone of her stealing, of course. Not only is it illegal and immoral, blah blah blah, but it means on the rare chance she does come shopping with me she takes enough stuff to last her months. That means she never comes shopping with me. It is quite possibly the largest tragedy of our era. 

The party, I have to give it to the kid, looks like a roaring success. How he managed to reserve and rent such a large beach spot and house is beyond me. There's probably a hundred kids in the house, on the deck, or on the sand. There are fairy lights and tiki torches everywhere, and cheesy Halloween decorations. Huge catering tables line the deck, and it looks like lots of people brought their own dishes and drinks as well. I remember Katara mentioning something about a dish Aang specifically asked her to make, but I'm glad I wasn't asked to make anything. All I know how to make is trail mix. 

"Hey guys! Glad you could come!" Aang cheerfully bounces out of the crowd, wearing an elaborate costume and headband that I don't really understand. For such an innocent little kid, throwing such a successful rager is a little baffling to me. But ht looks totally in his element. Everybody knows Aang, and everybody loves him. Speaking of love, there's Appa! I bend down and get a bear hug from Aang's giant, white, fluffy dog with the funny brown patches on his back that are eerily similar to Aang's tattoos. 

"IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyo-" I said over and over again, interrupted by Appa's huge, slobbery tongue all over my face. "Ugh," I moan, standing up and leaning against Zuko, wiping my face in his jacket.

"This is technically your jacket," he points out, and I physically recoil.

"I love your outfits!" Aang exclaims. "That's so clever. Have you seen Katara?" He peered around us eagerly, as if we were hiding her. 

"No, she left before us," I say, before narrowing my eyes. Zuko is totally right. Aang has the look of a lovesick puppy on his face. 

"Anyway, feel free to help yourself to any of the food," he said, pointing at all the different stuff. I rub my hands greedily and began examining afar for the food item with the highest meat content. "Everyone can stay for as long as they want, it's Friday! There's a photo booth over there, and let me know if you see any- OH MY GOD THERE'S KATARA shelookssoprettysokkayoureallymissedoutonthegenesinthefamilyok BYE!" With that, he scampered back off into the crowd.

"Did you catch any of that?" Zuko leans over and whispers, his breath hot in my ear. 

"I think he insulted me," I frown, my eyes following Aang until he disappears into the crowd. "Anyway, c'mon, let's eat!"

*** 

Zuko:

With that, we spend the next couple hours totally normal as two friends. We gorge ourselves on food, from the normal catering food to Aang's ridiculously good tofu to any kind of meat Sokka can get his hands on. We meet up and talk with a couple people in the gang, including Katara, who looks stunning, Toph, who seemed generally very overwhelmed at the party setting and stayed clutching to Katara's arm, and Yue, who just sort of stood by the water, staring at the sky. She wasn't even wearing a costume. Whatever. That girl's pretty, but she's weird.

The hours ticked by, and soon, the sun set and we were left with only the tiki torches, fairy lights, bonfires, and the stars. People kept partying just as hard, though, and the fact that you couldn't tell who most people were due to the costumes add a mysterious element to the whole thing. Sokka and I spend a bit standing at the edge of the water, too. The stars reflected in Sokka's eyes are addictive to stare at.

"Oh spirits," I mutter as we walk back into the crowd. Sokka looks around wildly, his head spinning like a swivel.

"What?" He asks me, and I smack him on the head. 

"Very subtle," I hiss. "Ok, be subtle, but look to your ten o'clock. Your other ten o'clock, Sokka. By the catering table?" He turns his head, more subtly this time, and narrows his eyes.

"Is that, is that Azula?" He asks, doubt in his voice.

"Yes."

"How'd she get an invite?" He incredulously asks, widening his blue eyes at me. 

Grimly, I say, "I doubt she was given one, knowing Azula."

"Who are those girls with her?" He asks, and I stare closer. It's hard with the costumes. I think the girl in the ridiculously short white dress and long hair with a halo is Ty Lee, dressed like an angel. Well, she looks as gorgeous as ever, draped over Azula and gushing about something, probably how Azula's the "real angel." Azula is dressed as some sort of sorceress, with a long, expensive, deep purple dress, an extraordinarily flared collar reaching above her head like half a cone, her hair in a meticulous updo with some sort of crown, a long veil attached to her wrists, and a dark scepter. She practically reeks of royalty, cruelty, and money. Exactly like my father. From a fashion standpoint, her outfit is incredible. From a I'm-her-brother-and-I-know-she-had-a-servant-make-it standpoint... less so. The third girl I distinguish as Mai, dressed as a character from some anime I vaguely remember, in a short black and red plaid dress, fishnet stockings, black platform heels making her even taller than she normally is, and her long black hair in perfect curls. The reason I hardly distinguish her is because she isn't acting like Mai, who, as far as I can tell, always acts bored and uninterested, always rolling her eyes. She certainly doesn't dance to music, laugh loudly, and flip her hair. 

"Mai and Ty Lee," I finally answer, my eyes still fixed on them. Out of the corner of my vision, I see Sokka watching me, trying to gauge my reaction.

"You don't like Azula," he says, and it's definitely more of a statement than a question. I nod, and break my vision away to look at him.

"Azula's a psychopath," I firmly tell him. I could tell him about the servants she bullies, the way she mocks our departed mother, the teen's lives she ruins, the way she flaunts her money and power and thinks it makes her more than human. I could tell him about how, that awful day several years ago when my father lost it and burned me, how I saw her smile. My baby sister, who was only eleven at the time, smiled. 

"She's still your little sister," he tries, but I look away, dismissing him.

"You and Katara are different. Your trauma's brought you closer together. You're siblings. You help each other like siblings, you bicker like siblings, you love each other like siblings. Azula is not my sister. She's a stranger in my house that I know too well." His eyes are unfailing, filled with worry and curiosity and most of all, blue. His eyes are so, so, so blue. I don't know if I've mentioned that?

"I-" He starts to say but I feel something warm on my shoulder. I turn around to see Mai- how did she get over here so fast?- draping herself across me.

***

Sokka:

Zuko rarely talks about his family. I mean, he's told me enough I get the gist what happens, and I don't push it, but tonight was the most he's told me about Azula. So when that senior girl, Mai, comes over, I immediately wrinkle my nose in distaste. What an interruption. Then, when I notice how she's leaning on him, I get filled with more than distaste. Straight-up panic and anger fills me. 

Zuko looks at her curiously.

"Um, hi?" He tries. Spirits, what an oblivious idiot. I move so I can get a better angle at what's happening. I've had very few interactions with Mai, but this definitely does not seem like her. 

"Hi, Zuko," she purrs, getting even closer, her stance a little wobbly. A red solo cup dangles dangerously from her red manicured hand, and I grab it out of her hand. She barely notice, she's so busy staring at Zuko with a mix of a predator and dreamy. 

Sniffing it, I tell him, "It's straight-up booze." He gives me such a worried, innocent look, I feel bad. The cup is almost empty, and I don't want to think about how much she drank. Instead, I throw it away. Part of me wants to go tell Aang, because if anyone could shut it down it's him, but another part of me would rather than die than leave Zuko alone with this very drunk, very attractive older girl. And yeah, she's hot. I don't have to be into girls to figure that out. She's tall, with perfectly toned legs, flawless curves, light olive skin, and a gorgeous face. Not pretty. Ty Lee is pretty. This girl is striking, with perfect features and bone structure, immaculate eyeliner, and bright red lipstick on. Yeah, she's pretty much perfect. And, she's a basketball player.

"Um, Mai?" He asks, but she just leans closer. Spirits, she's all over him. 

"You want to give us some space, new boy?" She drawls at me. The words stun me right to the core, and I glance at Zuko. He's not moving away. He's probably enjoying this. Spirits, spirits, spirits, of course he is? What teenage boy wouldn't enjoy a very attractive older girl getting so close to him. His eyes meet mine, and I try to desperately read them. Is there nervousness? Yes, I think so. I can't tell anything else. Then, his eyes leave mine, and he looks at Mai. 

And he doesn't tell me to stay. So I leave.

Well, leave is awfully dramatic. Hurt beyond words, I back away into the crowd, and linger neat the food table. I can barely hear anything beyond the burning lump in my own throat. I glance up. I can still see them. This isn't healthy. Spirits... she's grabbing his butt. He's still not moving away. 

This isn't healthy. I need to be a good best friend, and be happy my friend is getting hit on by an incredibly attractive female that he's obviously into.

She's moving her hips against his in the rhythm, really getting into it. She grabs his hands and puts them at her hips, and they linger there. I can't tell how he's reacting from this far away, but I can tell that he's not leaving. He isn't saying no. I feel Haru come next to me, and I can faintly hear him start to talk to me, but my world is busy crashing down I don't have time for small talk with Haru the wrestler. Her lips are on his. I ignore Haru. He leaves. 

She moves her hand down to his crotch, and that's when I let out a noise, one small heartbroken bark. My reaction isn't fair to Zuko. He's allowed to date people. I mean, c'mon. I'm his friend. Just because I have a crush on him, doesn't mean he knows. Doesn't mean he reciprocates. She grinds against him a little harder, moving his hands to places on her body where they shouldn't be, and I can't do it. I leave, stumbling through the crowd, barely registering the thumping beat of the music or the sweaty smell of people. I'm still wearing his jacket, did you know that? I'm pathetic. I'm a pathetic piece of garbage, losing it over my very straight friend doing a perfectly normal straight thing to do. 

I slip into the house and turn into the first hallway I see. There's two boys there, in the shadows, making out. I can't tell who it is, but even I can feel the love and the lust and the passion radiating off of them. This is a nightmare. How ironic, seeing as it's Halloween. I push past them, and into the bathroom, shutting the door. Immediately, I allow myself to sink to the floor sliding against the cabinets. I'm so devastated I can't even cry. The world is spinning, and I stumble-crawl to the toilet and dry retch. What a disaster.

After a moment, I feel my heart rate decrease significantly and I clamber to the counter, stabilizing myself on either side and staring in the mirror. The world slowly returns back to normal, as well as my breathing. No sooner than I've taken a deep breath, preparing myself to face the Halloween nightmare awaiting me, than do I hear a knock on the bathroom door.

"Occupied," I call out. I'm never sure what to say when people knock. I hear the door open and whip my head around. "Hey, hey, I said occupied-" 

"I know," a quiet voice says. It's Zuko. He stands in the doorway awkwardly, his hands shoved in the pocket of my coat. His hair is still tied up with my scrunchie, although several strands are loose, and there's remnants of red lipstick around his mouth. At least his pants are still very firmly on.

"How'd you find me?" I ask, not facing him, just staring myself in the mirror. I look a wreck, my hair all in my face.

"The couple outside the door," he explains. "They're cute."

"Not as cute as you and Mai," I point out. Before he responds, I run my hands under the faucet and push my hair back, giving him an extremely faked grin.

***

Zuko:

Yeah, he's not doing well. Part of me wonders why. Part of me knows.

The grin, though? It feels like a stab right through my chest. Sokka's always smiling, always grinning, and I love it. This smile is just full of pain.

"We're not, um-" I stutter. "Sokka, I didn't want it. Any of it." It's true. I hated it from beginning to start and I for the life of me can't understand why. She's exactly why I should want. It just felt wrong.

"Sure," he gives a humorless laugh. "That's why you didn't say no, why you didn't leave, why you enjoyed it?" I hated it. I just... she was a wreck, and I felt so bad saying no. I was stunned, shocked. "It's fine, Zuko." It's not. "You guys would be cute together." No, we wouldn't. Spirits, I don't know why. I don't know why that felt so wrong. 

"I left," I say quietly. "She started getting too handsy."

"That's Zuko's limit. Good to know," he says sarcastically. "I saw her getting pretty handsy before she kicked me out, so I don't want to know how handsy she got AFTER I-"

"I wanted to leave before!" I shout, slamming my hands into the counter on either side of me, pinning him. For a moment he looks a little nervous, overwhelmed, but then the scary-blank-Sokka took over again and his eyes lost all emotion except pain and cruelty.

"But you didn't. You're in charge of your own actions, you know that?"He retorts,leaning forward so his face was inches from mine. I do not like this scary-blank-Sokka, but 

"God, I couldn't just leave her, ok?"

"Why not?" He practically cried.

"I don't know, Sokka!"

"What don't you know?"

"I don't know why I didn't leave," I ramble, stepping away and running my hands through my hair. "I didn't want to be there. I don't know what I want, I don't know how I feel, I don't know how you feel-" I stop. I don't know why I said that, but immediately his face softens, eyes wide, before he regains normal face composure. "Let's just forget this happened, ok? Let's go to the photo booth. As-"

"Friends,"he supplies, gently, almost asking. 

"Yeah," I say, almost painfully, for some reason. I don't know why it's painful. "Friends."

disclaimer: also this section is not meant to hate on mai. she's an amazing character and i love her, she just obviously cannot be with zuko... because this is a zukka story. she's just really, really drunk.


	6. Chapter 6

. 

***

Sokka:

We stand in line for the photo booth, our feet in the sand. Two people race by us towards the water, shrieking and whooping. Zuko and I don't talk to each other, but there's no anger. Just cooling down.

"You didn't want to kiss Mai?" I ask quietly, one more time.

"I didn't kiss Mai, Mai kissed me," he points out. "And no," he firmly adds. "I didn't."

"Ok," I say, just as quietly. 

"I promise," he says again, firmer this time. I face him and give him the slightest smile, and his face crinkles in relief.

"You'd think you'd be smart enough to figure that out," he laughs, and I knock into him.

"Apparently I'm 'brilliant', remember?" I say, taunting him.

"Yeah, yeah. You're smart in stupid ways," he tells me.

"And you're stupid in smart ways," I retort, the tension between us disappearing but the tension in my stomach very much not. Before he can come up with a comeback, we've arrived at the front of the line, and the bored twenty-something girl ushers us in. We don't even have time to grab props from the table.

"Ok, first photo?" I ask, and he wrinkles his nose in thought as we position ourselves. Spirits, he's cute, and thank goodness for the scar, or he'd be perfect. Actually, scratch that. I think it makes him even cuter. Oh, that's not fair.

"Silly," he decides, and I can't help but laugh. He's taking it so seriously.

As the camera begins to count down, Zuko hooks his fingers in the corners of his mouth and pulls down, sticking his tongue out and rolling his eyes into the back of his head for added effect. I put my fingers at my temples and give a dramatic angsty look like I'm a celebrity posing. The camera flashes and I'm momentarily blinded, but I hear Zuko laugh anyway.

"What?" I say indignantly, smacking him. He looks at me with something in his eyes I can't place.

"You and your contradictions," he says, shaking his head.

"No, no," I say, "please don't do that."

"What?" He asks, genuinely confused which almost makes it worse.

"Don't tease me like that," I say, and the countdown begins. He hastily wraps an arm around me and I throw up a halfhearted peace sign, breaking apart after the camera flashes.

"Sokka, I don't know what you mean," he says, concern in his eyes. It makes me want to throw up.

"Of course you don't. You're so oblivious," I say indignantly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, ok? And I don't know how you feel or how I feel-" The camera goes off but we ignore it.

"How I feel? Spirits, Zuko, you're so oblivious," I repeat, softly. Then, something in me compels me to do something incredibly stupid. Wrapping my arms around myself, I lean forward and kiss Zuko, just the tiniest of kisses, soft and slow. The camera flashes, and I break apart. He didn't kiss me back. Of course he didn't. His face is shocked, stunned. I turn around, the world spinning and fly out of the booth. I ignore the booth attendant, I ignore the disgruntled line as I break through them, I ignore everything as I flee to the beach, collapsing at the edge of the ocean.

Zuko didn't kiss me back. Of course he didn't.

I've had crushes before, obviously, and they rarely are returned. Such as the life of a gay boy living in the South Pole. But Zuko? Zuko's different. Or at least, I thought he was. Turns out he's just another perfect straight boy I've fallen head over heels for. A perfect, basketball player, beautiful, oblivious straight boy, who gave me the best friendship I've only had only for me to go and ruin it. Zuko didn't kiss me back. I'm worse than Mai. He reacted like he did with Mai. Too shocked to leave. Spirits. Zuko didn't kiss me back. 

I don't know how long I sit there at the water. Maybe a minute. Maybe a hundred minutes. The ocean comforts me. It reminds me of home, of family, of Mom and Dad. It's the only thing here that reminds me of home, besides Katara. Well. And Zuko. But again, Zuko's different. Zuko doesn't remind me of home. Zuko is home. And I've gone and ruined it, because I'm an impatient disaster. Kissing him was probably the worst mistake in my life, second only to falling for him in the first place. It ruined our friendship, the best thing in my life. Maybe I could've ignored my feelings. Maybe the crush could've gone away. Of course, I'm only fooling myself. This is more than a crush, and to be so close to Zuko but unable to touch him? It would be torture. Maybe even worse than how I feel right now, absolutely falling apart.

Zuko comes up, after a while. I'm surprised. He should leave me, should leave the stupid gay boy wanting something that could never happen and go back to the high school Halloween party. Maybe find a girl besides Mai he's actually interested in, and kiss her back. He sits by me, but I don't turn to face him. I stare at the moon instead. It hurts, him sitting there. Not because his presence is painful- it never is- but because it reminds me of the first time we sat on the beach together, the first day of school. Out of the corner of my vision, I can see him sitting towards me, totally facing me, as I face the ocean. After a while of silence, he speaks.

"You left the pictures." He slips a glossy strip of paper in my hand. I don't look at it. "Maybe you can add it to your photos." I almost laugh, humorlessly.

"Spirits, you really are oblivious. See, I don't want the photos. I don't want any of this," I try to explain, my voice flat and dead.

"You don't want to like me like that," he says, not a question. So he figured it out. Obviously. 

"No, Zuko. It's just heartbreak. I don't want this, this heartbreak," I tell him, pain seeping into my voice. I want him so bad. But he didn't kiss me back.

"You were wrong," he says quietly, and I almost laugh. Yeah, duh. Zuko didn't kiss me back. But then he surprises me. "I was oblivious, but I'm not anymore. I 'm not confused."

"Then why are you still here," I ask, bracing myself for the answer that will finally break me.

"I'm not oblivious," he repeats, and instead of walking away, he leans forward, on his knees as I sit cross-legged, his hand on my chin, gently tilting my head up and towards him. My heartbeat stops. I don't allow myself to hope. His golden eyes are full of flames from the nearby tiki torches, and they are staring at me, reflecting exactly what I want. Next thing I know, he leans down and kisses me, only soft for a moment, then hot and passionate. I barely act at first, but this doesn't discourage him. He sinks down, his lips never leaving mine, and wraps his hands around me, and that's when I kiss him back. I kiss him back. It is strong, and our bodies press together, and my eyes flutter close as I feel his warm body heat course underneath me. Zuko kisses me, and it's home.

***

Zuko: (flashback to right after Sokka leaves the booth)

The curtain stops fluttering, and Sokka is gone. That's all I can think about.

I stand there, blankly. Yes, I was correct. Sokka did kiss me. That doesn't make sense. My head spins, but I'm interrupted by the booth attendant popping her head in.

"Um, your friend left," she so kindly tells me. "He didn't take the pictures. Here they are. Also, there's a line, so if you could leave..." She snaps a bubble of gum, and the noise shocks me into movement. I nod and snatch the photos out of her hand.

"Thank you," I tell her, and slip out. I don't know how to feel. I know I need to find Sokka- he's probably not doing so well- but I also know I need to figure myself out before I try to figure Sokka out and why he did that.

I go inside to the house, the party still going on strong despite my world breaking down. I go into the hallway where Sokka hid not too long ago and just slump against the wall, staring at the pictures in the dim lighting. The first picture makes me smile, Sokka's dramatic and angsty face matched with my ridiculous one. Our cheeks are pressed together. The second one is hasty. Sokka looks like he got stabbed, and some poison is eating away at him, but we're still close together. The third one breaks me. Sokka looks devestated and angry, but I can't tell if all the anger is directed at me or himself. And the fourth one? Sokka is hugging himself, so you can feel the nervousness radiating off him as he leans forward and kisses me, so gentle and sweet, his eyes closed, but his face full of pain and determination and resignation. And I? I had takenin a sharp breath but I had not moved away. Just like Mai, I had neither stepped away or kissed back. But Sokka was different than Mai.

"Where's your friend?" Someone asks me, and I look up, startled to see one of the boys that was in this hallway earlier, kissing. I realize he's in a wheelchair. How did I not notice that before? Was I that blind to everything except Sokka? Why?

"My name is Teo," he says. "Your friend is Sokka, isn't he? I know him from STEM class."

"Yeah. He's Sokka," I answer him, the words painful for some reason.

"Sokka's a genius," he tells me, like I don't already know that. "And he's funny."

"Sokka's pretty much perfect," I say, "but in a disaster way."

"My boyfriend is like that," he says with a happy sigh. "It's like he has all these different chaotic features, but when they come together, they're perfect."

"That's like Sokka," I admit.

"So where is he? And why do you look so destroyed?"

I'm not destroyed," I say defensively. "Just... confused." For some reason I show him the photo, and then I start babbling, and explain everything. How amazing it is to be with Sokka, how good our friendship is, the photos, Mai, the kiss.

"And you don't know you feel," Teo guesses when I finish.

"Nope. No idea." I throw up my hands in exasperation, and look up to this kid for inspiration.

"Well," he begins thoughtfully. "How did you feel when this girl, Mai, you know...? Kissed you, and stuff?"

"Um," I chuckle humourlessly. "It should've been great. Mai's beautiful, and she was really into me. But it just felt... wrong. She was my first kiss, you know? And that's why I didn't leave, I guess. It should've felt right. It felt wrong."

"And how did you feel when Sokka kissed you?"

"Stunned, at first," I tell him. "But it felt like something inside me... flipped, you know? Something changed inside me, but now I'm just as confused as ever."

"Would you kiss Sokka again?" Teo asks cautiously.

"What? I mean, I don't know. We're best friends. We're perfect together. Except things have been different lately. When he gets close to me, I feel all hot and nervous and stiff, except in a good way. And I want to spend every waking moment with him, and I don't know why. He's addictive, you know? And I care about him more than anything and I still don't know why and he called me oblivious because I really should've seen it coming, the way he looks at me, and I wanted him to look at me like that all the time before I realized-" Then, it hits me, harder than a basketball to the face. "Oh my spirits."

"Zuko," Teo slowly starts to say.

"I'm in love with Sokka," I say, slowly, nervously. I look at him, this kid I barely know, and he nods for confirmation.

"You are so head over heels for him."

"How did I not notice?"

"Like he said, you're oblivious. He thought he was just talking about you noticing how he felt, but also how you felt."

"Oh spirits," I say, hanging my head in my hands. "I ruined everything. I should've kissed him back. I wanted to, Teo!"

"Then go do it. Sokka's probably heartbroken-"

"-and it's all my fault-"

"-so go kiss him! You guys have a connection from what it sounds like, Zuko. You can fix it. You know what you want now," he tells me gently.

"Yeah," I say slowly. "Yeah, you're right. I can fix it, Teo!!" I stand up and put my hands on his shoulders. "Teo, we like each other!" I yell. "I can go kiss him!"

"Yeah, yeah, Zuko!" He laughs. "Now go get em, champ!" Clutching the pictures, I march outside the house, determined to find Sokka and make things right.

***

Zuko: (now present)

I'm kissing Sokka, and he's kissing me too. The photos fall to the sand as I wrap my hands around his waist, underneath my jacket, and pull him against me. He gives a breathy little laugh and my face turns even hotter as he puts his hands around my neck. Sure, it's awkward and our noses bump more than once, but it's heaven at the same time. I've never kissed anyone in my life (we don't count Mai) so I'm doing my absolute best. With a rush of courage that comes from having Sokka in my arms, finally within reach, my tongue darts out, and his lips immediately part, and next thing I know we're exploring each other's mouths. It's hot and sloppy and wonderful. Sokka tastes just like Sokka, and it makes me wriggle even closer to him. He gives a happy little moan of delight, and I finally pull apart for air.

"Zuko...?" He asks, and I'm filled with liquid courage. The stars are reflected in his blue eyes as he looks up at me, finally not holding anything back. I reach out and tuck a strand of hair behind his head. I can finally formulate thoughts around Sokka, and I am not holding back.

"You're beautiful, Sokka." He blushes, the red on his face perfectly blending with his tan skin. "Ok? I'm sorry I couldn't figure it out before, but I really, really, really need to be with you."

"I need you too, Zuko," he whispers, and then attacks me again, pushing me against the sand so he's resting on top of me. It's a little awkward, but my thoughts are silenced as Sokka starts making out with me again, his hands running through my hair. I wrap my hands around his waist, his shirt sliding up a little bit, letting my hands rest on bare skin. He moans a little bit, kissing me harder, my hair getting all sandy until I have to break away, gasping for breath as I stare at the starry sky. Sokka doesn't stop, he just gently kisses down my neck until I have to push him off.

"What?" He asks, sitting up, looking like a wounded puppy. I scramble up too, and look at him, tilting my head. His eyes are alight with excitement, and his lips look all puffy and red.

"This is just- this is kinda my first makeout session. I'm a little, um, tired?" I say, trying to give him a smile. He just laughs and rolls over, resting his head on my lap.

"No kidding," he says in wonder, his eyes staring up at mine. I thread my fingers gently through his hair, glad it's down, before I freeze.

"Is this- is this not yours?" I try to keep the whining out of my voice, but his eyes widen and he sits up quickly.

"I mean, no. I've made out and stuff with people, but like... I've never really had a boyfriend. I want to do it right with you, Zuko, I promise," he tells me, firmly. I squash the urge to hunt the world for Sokka's flings and nod before hesitating again.

"...Boyfriend?" I ask quizzically. He bites his lip nervously. Spirits, that's hot.

"I mean... I don't know..."

"I haven't really thought about it," I tell him honestly, my hand still cupped around his cheek. He nuzzles into it, and the look on his face tells me he definitely has.

"Let's just enjoy the rest of the party, ok?" He suggests softly, and I feel instantly bad, so I grab his face and give him a long, hard kiss, leaving him stunned.

"Let's do it." I stand up and hold my hand out to him, enjoying the dazed look on his face as I pull him up to stand next to me.

Yeah. Let's do it.

a/n: we've started the romance fluff!!! ahh i'm so excited, please let me know with your feedback. oh, and this night is not over for them, just fyi. ;)


	7. Chapter 7

Sokka:

We head back into the party, and I feel like I'm walking on air. Zuko's still holding my hand. Does he know that? Probably. All of a sudden, he's confident, he's not oblivious, and most of all, he is into me. He really is. I'm not imagining it. Is this real?

"Nice job," Teo whispers as we pass him, glancing at our clasped hands and giving me a big grin. I shoot him a thumbs up, and mouth 'thank you.'

"Is this ok?" Zuko asks, raising our hands before we step into the crowd. "I know we haven't, like, decided-"

"Zuko, tonight, I honestly couldn't give a damn," I admit. He gives me a wicked grin, making me almost regret I said something, and pulls me into the mob of people before I can say anything. The beat of the song makes the crowd sway and jump, dancing like a bunch of crazy teenagers which, to be fair, is exactly what this is. The dancing presses us together, accidentally shoving me into his arms. I tilt my head up, seeing his full face, for once not blocked by his hair. He tilts his head, almost hiding his scarred side. Struggling to wriggle my arms out, I reach up and tilt his head back.

"You're perfect," I whisper, and immediately blush. Where did that come from?

"What?" He yells, motioning to his ears. I just shake my head. I'm glad he couldn't hear me. I've had enough soppy sad romance for tonight. Filled with my normal overly-hyper energy, I start dancing to the music, grabbing his other hand and getting him to dance with me. I am not a dancer, but neither is he. He's so awkward, all long limbs and nervous face. That's ok. He's cute.

"You're so bad at this," I say, laughing. I guess he read my lips, because he smacks me playfully with a pouty expression on his face. I give a little twirl with the music, and he pulls me back into him, laughing. He starts to say something but then I see his face freeze, the rest of him following suit.

"What's wrong?" I ask, leaving forward to whisper into his ear. His hands around mine freeze, and I turn around to see what he's staring at. It's Azula, barely visible through the crowd, her eyes trained on us like a hawk watching a mouse. I can see her take us in, how close we are, and I step away. I don't want to, but for Zuko's sake, I do. He flashes me a look of relief before glancing back at his sister. There's curiosity in her eyes, from what I can tell, sort of a 'I'll have to look into that' look. I don't like it.

"Let's go," I tell him, and grab his hand again, pulling him through the crowd, away from Azula's prying eyes. As we leave the crowd and head back to the house, I start to ask him, "would Azula, you know, tell your father? About us? If there becomes an us?"

"We can talk about this later, ok?" He says firmly. I sigh, about to insist, but we're in the house and the moment the door shuts he shuts me up with a kiss. I melt happily, and stay quiet.

"Hey guys!" I hear Aang, cheerful as always pop out from around the corner.

"Hi Aang," I say, my voice still a little dreamy. His eyes glance to our clasped hands and widen.

"ArE yOu GuYs A cOuPlE nOw?? OhmyspiritsIcan'twaittotellKataraI'vebeenwaitingfory'alltogettogetherforagesI'msoexcitedforyoubothahhh-"

"Aang, I'm gonna have to cut you off right there," I say, and he cocks his head.

"Why? Don't you want people to know?"

"Um, we're not really official," Zuko says bashfully.

"We still need to talk about it," I correct him. We are going to talk about it. Zuko can keep avoiding it all evening, but the fact is, I need to be his. Officially.

"Okaaaaaaaay," Aang says slowly, his eyes still darting from me to Zuko and both.

"That means you can't tell anyone yet," Zuko clarifies.

I add, "even Katara," and his face falls.

"Why not?" Aang says, his bottom lip quivering. "Katara and I don't keep secrets like that."

"It's not a secret," I quickly add. "I don't keep secrets from Katara either. Just... until we figure it out, ok?" Read: Until Zuko figures out what he wants (which better be me.)

"Ok," he says reluctantly, kicking the ground with his foot.

"Promise, guru goody-goody?" Zuko says firmly, and Aang wrinkles his nose.

"Promise. Anyway, good luck making out!" With that he dashes off.

"He's totally telling Katara," I sigh, but Zuko doesn't find it funny. He looks alarmed.

"He better not!" He practically yells, and I'm taken aback.

"What would be so wrong with that?" I ask, almost offended. "Look, we really need to talk about us-"

"Sokka," he interrupts me. "Let's just enjoy the rest of the Halloween party, ok?" I nod reluctantly. "But first... bathroom? Both of us? We could use some privacy," he purrs in my ear, and I shiver.

"Ok," I relent, and let him lead me to the bathroom.

The moment he shuts the door I drag him over to the counter. He spins me around, pinning me against the counter, leaning down and kissing me passionately. Once the initial high of kissing Zuko passes, I get upset that my neck is craning up, so I hop on the counter so I'm a little taller than him, and put my hands on the sides of his face, and wrap my legs around him, pulling him closer. He growls when my tongue swipes on his bottom lip, and spirits, he's so hot. We battle for dominance, (what a cliche statement). I push against him, but it's hard to do sitting on the counter, so really it's an impossible fight. He pushes me back in return in the counter so far my head hits the mirror, and he places his hands on either side of my face, trapping me. He leans back for air, an almost scary passion in his eyes. Well, it should scare me. It just makes me more excited. I give him my best shit-eating grin, almost egging him on, and he licks his lips in a "I'll show you way." When this passionate Zuko takes over, nothing is more important.

***

Zuko:

Spirits, Sokka looks absolutely beautiful, pinned against the bathroom mirror on the counter, wearing my jacket, his hair down and tangled, his lips a little puffy and his face flushed, blue eyes wide open with apprehension and excitement, nothing holding back. So I hold nothing back, some animal instinct rising up in me now that I finally, finally, for the first time in my life, know what I want. It's Sokka.

I plunge back into another hot, wet kiss. We're getting a little better at it, I can tell. Or at least, I am. He gives a tiny moan as I move from his lips up his jawline, my hands staying firmly on the mirror, trapping him, more or less. He tilts his face up towards the ceiling as I kiss up to his earlobe, nibbling just a little bit before trailing kisses down his neck. Just as I reach his collarbone, his back arching, I her the door burst open. Spinning around, embarassed, I see some jock looking dude staring at us, with a girl hooked on his arm.

"Oh, this room is taken," he grunts, raising an eyebrow at Sokka, who has wrapped his arms around my neck and buried his face in the crook of my shoulder. I can practically feel the embarassment radiating off him as well.

The jock turns around to probably go invade another bathroom, but the girl stops and widens her eyes. Wait a second... I recognize the long braid, gymnast-like movements, and angel costume.

"Oh, fu-" I start to swear, but it's too late.

"Little Zuko? Oh, I almost didn't recognize you in that jacket and with your hair up!" Ty Lee gushes.The jock pokes his head around the corner, annoyed, but she pushes him away. "Who is this?" She gestures towards Sokka, who just glares at her. "And is that your jacket he's wearing?... Oh, Zuko." She seems genuinely happy for me, and I would almost believe her except for the fact I know she'll be so happy she'll tell Azula. She'll tell Azula anything.

"Hi, Ty Lee," I say awkwardly, trying to subtly disentangle myself from Sokka. He is not having it.

"Mai's sober now," she tells me, twirling her braid around her finger absentmindedly. "We told her you weren't exactly interested, and she was pretty embarassed. Just wait until she hears it's because you actually have a lover!" The words coming out with Ty Lee's bubbly voice is unnerving. They're a little threatening, but it's clear as glass she doesn't mean it. It's probably just Azula rubbing off her.

And lover? Sokka, my lover? If the threat of my sister, and thus my father, finding out wasn't hanging over me I would shiver at the thought.

"Um, this isn't what you think it is," I say, cringing at my voice. "This is... a one-night stand," I lamely finish. Oh yikes. That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Sokka freezes, his entire body going rigid on mine. Impossibly so, Ty Lee's eyes widen even more.

"So you're experimenting. I totally get it, baby Zuko! So, did you mean to reject Mai?" She asks innocently, unaware of what an impossible situation she's put me in. Every single fiber in me wants to say 'yes, yes, I want Sokka more than anything.' But she'll tell Azula. And Azula will tell my father. And my father will not be kind. That's the understatement of the century. My free hand, that isn't stabilizing me and Sokka against the counter, drifts up to my scar. Then, I make a mistake.

"No." What. "I'll probably, I don't know, ask her out or something. You can tell Azula this was a one-night stand. Mistake." I have to choke the last word out, and for good reason, because this was a disaster. Even as the words leave my mouth, I know they are wrong. Ty Lee gives me a blinding smile, and leaves, shutting the door behind her. I turn around to Sokka, but he's pushing himself off me as fast as he possibly can. I've never felt so cold as when his heat leaves me, and he curls away from me. His eyes never leave me, though. Those brilliant eyes. This night alone, I've seen them full of hope and sadness and heartbreak and lust and now, they're full of hate. I step forward, not sure what to do, but he lashes out, making me stumble away.

"Sokka-"

"One-night stand." His voice is so, so angry, it feels like a knife towards my heart. "Mistake." He practically spits that at me. "Didn't mean to reject Mai? You're going to ask her out?"

"That's- that's not true-"

"Then why did you fucking say it, Zuko?" He shouts.

No, no, Sokka, you don't understand.

I lied I lied I lied. I need you.

I don't say that, though.

***

Sokka:

Zuko. Zuko had to do it. Zuko had to be logical, protect himself first. Who knows what his father would do? Zuko had to do it.

Zuko didn't have to lead me on.

Zuko didn't have to kiss me like that, running his hands up my body, through my hair, around my waist.

I'm not stupid. I know Zuko wanted to kiss me. It's the only thing keeping me from dissolving, right here, again, for the seventeenth time tonight. But he didn't have to. He knew the consequences. Zuko, Zuko, Zuko. Zuko didn't have to not tell me this was temporary, this was a mistake. Zuko should have told me.

I'm not stupid. I know Zuko isn't into Mai. I know Zuko's into me. It isn't really Zuko's fault that he can't be with me. But Zuko should've told me he should've let me known not let me hope-

"You don't understand, Sokka," he starts."I'm so, so sorry-" Yeah, I know he's sorry. I can tell he's sorry, it's etched all over his face. But sorry isn't even close enough.

"We're not even a one-night stand," I start, my voice low. "We just kissed." Of course, now I'm lying. Because even kissing Zuko is so, so, so much more.

"I don't want Mai." I know that.

"I want you." I know that.

"But my father..." I know that.

"I should've told you." Yeah, obviously.

"We could never happen." If there was anything left in me still whole, that would've broken me. Alas.

"Please, Sokka, say something," he begs, his hands flying up, confused, because there's nothing they can do.

"What do you want me to say," I ask, my voice lower than it's ever gone.

He just stares at me, his gaze broken, until something determined shifts in them. They get a steely glint in them, a glint I've come to love.

"I'm fixing this," he promises me, and I just sigh.

"What the hell are you going to-"

"Stay here, Sokka," he tells me, holding his hands out as he backs out of the bathroom, as if trying to reassure me.

"Zuko, what-" I say, my curiosity getting the better of me, but he's gone out the door. I heave myself up from the counter and follow him, muttering, "stupid, hot, Zuko, rash decisions are my thing-" I find him in the living room, grabbing Ty Lee. She turns to him, and I can barely hear what she says, so I move closer, catching what he says.

"-was wrong, Ty Lee. I'm not asking Mai out."

"Is that boy a fling?" She asks, leaning forward out of curiosity.

"I'm not sure," he tells her firmly, and then walks away, through a group of dancing costumed kids, straight to me.

"Um, ok," I say, not sure how to react. "This doesn't totally fix things, you realize that?"

"Yes," he says. "We're going to talk it out. No more anger, no more leaving. Ok?"

"Ok," I whisper, and he holds his hand out, asking in his eyes.

I gently entwine my fingers in his.

We can figure this out.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: The Plan

***

Zuko:

We walk upstairs of the big house, past kids in all sorts of costumes. I'm pretty sure I catch Toph trying to flirt with Suki, but that's a whole different thing to get into. We try to go in the first bedroom we see, but see things I'd rather not see. Eventually, we find one, and go in. We sit facing each other, and Sokka doesn't meet my gaze. No. I have to fix this. I reach out and place my hand on his knee, and his gaze flit sup to me. He's trying to forgive me, I can tell. I just have to work for it.

"Have you ever had a talk like this?" I ask first, a little awkwardly.

"No," he admits. "Like I've said. Never had an official boyfriend." Ok, ok. He's talking to me.

"You know I didn't mean the stuff I said back there?"

"But you said it anyway."

"And I've taken it back," I earnestly say, trying as hard as I can to make him believe me.

"You didn't have to take it back," he says quietly. "You could just stick with the safer option. You probably should, it's safer. If your dad finds out..."

"I don't care," I promise. "I want you more than I fear my dad." I'm trying to, at least. The fear of my father has loomed over me my entire life, but my feelings for Sokka are stronger than that, I know it.

"What if Ty Lee tells Azula? Spirits, Zuko, you shouldn't have done that," he says, raking his hand through his hair.

"Azula might know, but she still won't have any proof," I say triumphantly. He stares at me for a minute, then smiles and shakes his head.

"Sneaky," he says. "She won't go to your father without proof?"

"I would bet my life on it," I assure him. He clenches his jaw, the wheels turning in his head.

"Would you... bet my life on it?" He tries, smirking.

"I wouldn't be your life on anything," I quickly say, eyes widening. He laughs. It's quiet, but it's still a laugh.

"So we just have to make sure she doesn't get proof," he says, picking at the carpet absentmindedly.

"I mean,-" I start. "I know you don't wanna be like, my side chick or whatever-"

"I don't want your father to know," Sokka interrupts. "I care about your safety more than my own feelings." I exhale a breath I didn't even know I had. "And I don't want Katara to know," he adds, almost like an afterthought.

"What?" I say, incredulously. Katara and him are closer than any other siblings I've ever seen.

"Yet," he says quickly. "I'll tell her eventually. Just... she still doesn't like you very much, and I just want her to learn to like you first. Ok?"

"Ok," I say, a little reluctantly. I don't feel like keeping secrets from her will make her like me more, but I'm just glad Sokka is looking at me without total and utter anger and pain.

"So we both have someone we don't want seeing us," he says, almost to himself. I see the plan forming in his head. We're both going to have to work for this, but good thing I have the plan guy by my side. "We can be together. Go on dates. Kiss. But to Katara and Azula, we're still best friends. This could work. We could pull this off, Zuko! And you want this?" He looks excited, so I faked a smile and nodded.

"Of course I want this," I promise, and I'm telling the truth.

But this isn't going to work forever. We're going to slip up, and Azula will know. Azula always knows. Maybe Iroh can help. And then, it's over for me. But for now? For now, I get Sokka. So I nod, and just vow to myself to keep Sokka as long as I can.

***

Sokka:

Ok, last warning. I'm going to enjoy this Halloween if it's the last thing I do. And Zuko? We're together, more or less official.

I hated being mad at him, and now that he fixed things (rather recklessly, if I may add, but I'm glad to see I'm rubbing off on him) I can't keep my hands off him.

"Sokka," he laughed as I pulled myself onto his lap, propping my elbows on his shoulders and kissing him, slow at first, then hot and sloppy. He wraps his hands around my waist, pulling me closer into him and I moan.

"Zuko," I whisper, and let my hands dip down below his shoulders, down below his chest, feeling every toned muscle, to his shorts loops (or technically, my shorts), pulling his hips up to mine.

"Sokka," he warned, tightening his grip on my waist. With a malicious grin on my face, lips still less than an inch from his, I moved my hips upward again. His golden eyes narrowed as he lost control, his hips moving quickly and sloppily against mine. I laugh, attacking his mouth with mine, feeling him try to steady his hips, and my hands drift even lower, dangerously nearing a zipper. The moment my finger start to unbuckle, he groans "Sokka" and pulls me away, gently, so I'm sitting still next to him. His golden eyes meet mine as he tries to steady his erratic breathing, and I take a deep breath.

"I know," I say, nodding.

"It's not that I don't want to," he promises quickly. I nod again, but he's not convinced. He takes my hands in his, and I meet his gaze. "I do. It's just-"

"Not here," I say, gesturing towards where we're sitting, on the floor of a random bedroom in a random house Aang rented.

"Not now," he nods. I might be the plan guy, but I'm still sixteen.

I scoot over and put my head in his lap, laying down. I like laying like this. I could never do this when were just friends. Perhaps a bit much after what we almost just did, but I don't care and, based off the way he threads my hair through his fingers, he doesn't care either.

"It's because you deserve better," he murmurs, and I don't think he knows I heard him. I did.

"No you," I say, smiling a little bit, and he glances down, smiling too. His eyes are so golden. One is wide, on the unmarred side of his face, the scarred one narrow, but they are the same exact color. I whisper, "do you really think we can pull this off?" Just to watch his reaction. His eyes stay trained on mine, but his eyebrows crinkle a little bit.

"Yes," he tells me, but I know he's lying. Well, maybe not lying. I just don't think he believes himself. I don't believe him either.

I don't have much left, honestly. My mom's dead. My dad's gone, and who knows when or if he'll ever come home. All I have left is Katara, and maybe Gran-Gran. My handful of friends. Soccer and STEM. And Zuko, of course. And none of that is at stake by being with Zuko. Katara will come around. So when I say I would give up anything tobe with Katara, I can't even really imagine what that would be like. Which is why I wouldn't blame him if he walked away. Which is why I can never really understand how much he's risking. Which makes me just- admire, appreciate?- him even more.

If Zuko's willing to risk it all, I'm willing to trust him.

Eventually, we leave the bedroom, our hands clasped. It's late, but I don't know how late- probably beween 12 to 2 am. The party is still going strong, and me and Zuko jump right in.

There's apple bobbing, which we go to first. How cliche. Toph is there, Suki holding her shoulders as Toph blindly- oh, that's not nice- searches around the tub with her mouth open. Suki notices our hands and just winks, making me blush. Toph bites so loud I can hear it and comes up with an apple, facing just over my shoulder.

"Mmp momph mimph imph a aumph," she mumbles, and Suki laughs, taking the apple out.

"Sorry, what was that?" Zuko asks nervously. Toph laughs and punches him. "Ow, he mumbles, and I have to grin.

"I said, I hope that was an apple," Toph says. "Not like, a potato."

"Ok, Toph," I laugh. "Mind if we have a go?" Toph nods, walking away at Suki's arm. I shove Zuko forward.

"Not me," he pleads, eyes wide, but I just cackle and shove him even more. He takes a deep breath but I stop him to tie his hair up even better with my scrunchie. He's not very good at ponytails but I, obviously, am. Right before he plunges in he shoots me on desperate look, but I just smirk.

Zuko is very bad at bobbing for apples. His hands keep slithering up to help, and I have to stand behind him holding them firm. Eventually, he comes sputtering up for air, very much apple-less.

"You try," he growls, and I just laugh and lean forward. When Katara and I were little, we'd play a similar game with a fishing hole in the ice and a piece of meat. Don't ask me, but I was amazing at it. The trick is to push the apple, or the meat in this case, to the side of the barrel, and twist your head, sinking your teeth in before it can slide out. I stand in front of it, preparing to dunk myself, but Zuko catches me by surprise, standing behind me, holding my hands back.

"Hey!" I complain. "I won't cheat."

"I'm not taking any chances," he grumpily says, and I have to laugh. Pouty, grumpy Zuko is just too adorable.

I turn back to the barrel and use my trick, coming up with an apple in seconds flat. My head sopping wet, I turn to face him, grinning with the apple still in my teeth. He laughs and lets me go, before leaning over and taking a bite out of the apple. I take a bite too, letting it fall but catching it before it hits the ground.

"This is the worst apple I've ever tasted," Zuko laughs, and I bump into him, grinning as well.

"Come on, let's dance," I offer, dragging him away, both of our heads still soaking wet.

"Because that went so well last time?" He says dryly. I roll my eyes, looking around for something, anything to convince him. Aha. A bowl half full of masquerade masks, likely Aang's doing.

"Close your eyes and take your jacket off," I instruct. He looks at me, waiting, as if to see I'm joking, but when he sees I'm dead serious he groans and does as I say. Then, I select a mask for him, a blue mask with strange white markings, and pick one for me, with a crescent moon at the top and mostly gray, white, and black. I see him peeking and smack him.

"I'm sorry, how is this going to help?" He asks carefully, and I give him my signature grin.

"Azula will be looking for two guys wearing letterman jackets, not two guys in jerseys- like every other jock here- and masquerade masks," I explain matter-of-factly. I know what he's thinking. Sometimes my plans can be... almost frightening, with how good they are.

"That's a dumb plan," he tells me honestly, and I fake a gasp.

"Do not insult my plans, mister," I pretend to scold him, wagging a finger. "My plans work. They make things work." He raises an eyebrow, which I can barely see through the mask- hold on, does he only have one eyebrow? We're not going to talk about it.

"Like us?" He says, grabbing my wrists. I resist the urge to gulp. I'm in charge here. I am.

"You'll see," I assure him, and snap my wrists so I'm the only holding him now. I push my face closer to his, studying his eyes. Quickly, I jut out my chin, and he just barely flinches. Grinning with satisfaction, I let go of his hands and lead him into a group of dancing people.

"Wait," he says, and I turn around, pouting. "Um, so since we're sort of official... are you, yaknow, technically, my... boyfriend?" The word seems to fit, but not yet. Not yet. I remember Ty Lee's bubbly voice as she said 'lover' and I know that's right, because this is so much more than high school dating.

"How about lovers?" I whisper, my face red, and his eyes widen as he nods fervently. Ok, enough of that. I pull him into the dance floor with more force. The only thing I can see on his face are his eyes, and they are reluctant, but I pull him along anyway. Baseball by Hippo Campus is playing, and he doesn't really have a choice.

***

Zuko:

"There goes that golden boy..."

Here, Sokka, under the flashing lights, is pretty much golden. His skin glows, no matter where he is, and his eyes, as we dance together, reflect mine. Blue gold. It's indescribable. His hair shakes around as he laughs, and everything about the moment is golden. I let myself stop worrying, and I just jump right into Sokka's contradictions, dancing and laughing and smiling.

It's golden.


	9. Chapter 9

***

Zuko:

I hear Sokka's alarm ringing, and I jump awake with a start, trying to remember where I am, what happened. I'm not drunk, I'm just always disoriented when I wake up.

I'm in Sokka's house... I spent the night... Sokka's right there... Last night...

Oh, last night. Right.

As the memories fill in, I suspiciously lift the blanket off Sokka. He's still dressed, and still passed out. That just confirms neither of us had alcohol, because last night if I had gotten drunk, well... Sokka wouldn't be dressed right now.

It's November first. And Sokka is officially (more or less) my, my... lover?

Ok, yeah. We can work with that.

"Wake up," I say, poking him unceromoniously. He just grunts and rolls over, facing me, his hair a disaster. I lay my head next to his, and gently pepper his sleepy face with light kisses. When I reach his lips, he surprises me by lunging over and kissing me, hard.

"Hey," I mumble, a little indignant. "You weren't asleep."

"That's- ok-" he says, and I push him off.

***

Sokka:

Lunch is the most difficult part of the day. For the rest of the day, Zuko and I sneak kisses between classes and text each other, but at lunch, he's right there, so close.

Unfortunately, so is the rest of the gang, specifically Katara.

"Aang, why are you acting weird?" She pesters him. Katara is sitting right across from me, with Zuko to my right and Aang across him. Yue sits right next to Katara, and Suki is to my left, with Toph next to her and Haru across from Toph. Hey, the group is a delicate balance, ok?

"I'm not. What, me? Weird? Katara, you're acting weird," he bluffs, and I remember with a sinking dread Aang is the worst actor ever. One way or another, Katara's finding out.

"Excuse me," she retorts, and Aang's eyes widen.

"No, no, I didn't mean that-" he tries to cover (poor kid) but her attention is already on me.

"Sokka, were you even at the party last night? I barely saw you!"

"Hehe, yeah," I say, tugging at my shirt collar with a finger. Spirits, it's hot in here, and Zuko's knee knocking against mine isn't helping. "I was there."

"What about you, Zuko?" She asks, her voice only filled with mild distaste. That's a start. "Meet any cute girls?" Zuko chokes on his drink.

"What?" He sputters. "Um, not exactly." Katara just raises an eyebrow.

"Well, I did," Toph announces, winking at Suki, who just cackles. Winking is not Toph's forte- her face gets all screwed up and she puts way too much effort in it. Poor thing.

"Toph, you can't even see," I remind her, annoyed, and she just huffs.

"Obviously," she retorts.

"I mean, how would you tell if Suki's cute?" Katara sks, genuinely mystified. Toph gives off a dazzling grin as she puts her stubby hands all over Suki's face, who lets it happen with a confused look on her face.

"Yep, cute," Toph confirms, and everyone laughs. Thanks, Toph. Katara seems to forget about me, and Zuko can go back to slyly holding my hand under the table, my thumb making lazy circles on his hand. Spirits, I need to be alone with him ASAP. Waiting until after school- wait, no, we both have practice all night. Tomorrow after school?- will kill me. I gently take my hand out of his, and he shoots me a wounded look. I roll my eyes and subtly mouth "trust me."

"I'm going to the bathroom," I announce. "Does anyone else have to go?"

"Me," Zuko says, a little too eagerly. I kick him under the table, and he says, "er, I mean, yeah, sure."

"I'll go," Aang says, but I kick him under the table too, nodding my head towards Zuko and his face turns furiously red. "I mean, never mind."

Spirits. These guys are a disaster.

"Aang, you're acting weird," Katara says, and he looks so scared I have to help him.

"Aang ate something weird in first hour," I tell her, thankful that Aang and I have English together. "So his bathroom issues are a little wanky." Aang blushes even more as Katara's mouth forms an 'o'.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of," Yue says so absentmindedly I almost don't know it's her.

"Of course it's not!" Aang bristles, and a pang of guilt hits me, but Zuko is pulling me up and away and we just have to leave Aang alone to his not-to-be-ashamed-of bathroom issues.

"That was awful," Zuko laughs as soon as we leave the cafeteria and enter the hallway. "The bathroom? Is that your best excuse? And poor Aang..."

"Look," I defend, shoving him playfully. "We don't actually have to go to the bathroom. We can walk around and talk, if you'd rather that."

"Shut up," he growls, and drags me into the nearest, 3-stall bathroom, the abandoned one that nobody uses, unless you want butt worms from the disgusting toilets. Thankfully, there's nobody in there. Obviously. Because of the fabled butt worms.

***

Zuko:

I drag him into the handicap one (so we can avoid the butt-worm toilet) and lock the door. The moment I turn around, his hands are around my wrist and he's pushing me against the wall, his lips locked on mine.

"Missed you," he mumbles, and I have to laugh. "Wha?"

"We've barely been apart a couple of hours," I tell him, in between hungry, sloppy kisses.

"But," he says, his tongue swiping across my lower lips and then we're french kissing, "I haven't been able to," he pushes me even farther against the wall, his legs between mine, "kiss you like this," he pins my hands above my head, giving me a ferocious look before rubbing the tip of his nose against mine, "since last night, and," he starts kissing me again, barely managing words in between kisses, "it's been driving me insane."

Ok. This is what I've been missing out on the last two or three months? My whole life? Because damn, kissing Sokka is a different kind of everything. I'm still in shock from last night, but this, this proves that it really did happen. And we're really going to try to pull this off.

***

Sokka:

Eventually, we stop kissing, just because it's so exhausting. Plus, lunch is going to run out soon and people are going to start wondering where they are. The thought of not being able to kiss Zuko for a couple of days is physically painful, so as we leave the bathroom I get an idea.

"Hey, maybe we should go on a date," I suggest. He looks at me sideways.

"A... date?" He repeats, an adorable, confused look on his face.

"Yeah," I laugh. "As long as Azula and Katara aren't there, it's safe, right?"

"Yeah," he muses, lost in thought.

I bump into him, awkwardly-casually asking, "so, any ideas for the *first date*?" He doesn't even notice my awful attempt at humor, just turns to me excitedly.

"I want you to meet my uncle," he says excitedly, a childish-like glint in his eyes that makes me smile in spite of myself.

"The basketball coach/counselor?" I laugh. "I think I've already met him, and besides, a visit to the school's counselor's office isn't exactly a date, Zuko."

"First of all, he's not a basketball coach anymore," he tells me, and I love the way his eyes light up when he talk's about his uncle. He's obviously very important to him. "After he lost the state championship several years ago to the Ba Sing Se team from up north, which was INCREDIBLY important to win because-" He notices my blank look, even though I'm trying to look interested in basketball (but seriously, basketball championships? Yuck. Zuko talking about someone in his family he actually cares about? Yay!) and stops. "Um, anyway, Iroh's not a coach anymore. He just helps me every once in a while, and he's made me really good. But because he's only a part-time counselor, quitting basketball let him open a tea shop. He loves tea," he laughs, almost to himself, and I have to smile.

"A tea shop?" I prompt. I don't want him to stop talking, even as we take a detour to get back to the cafeteria.

"Yeah, it's called the Jasmine Dragon. It's mostly boba, or at least, that's what I go there for. Seriously, the best tea in the city. I work there, over the summer." That's a shock. "Even though my dad doesn't approve. He doesn't understand why a part-time minimum wage job interests me, and he doesn't like me spending time with Iroh, but as long as I'm out of his sight..." He gives me a helpless little shrug, and I try to disguise the tiny crack in my heart that grows whenever I hear about Zuko's father. "But yeah. We should go there."

"Katara has swim practice that day, and she doesn't even drink tea..." I muse.

"And Azula hates my uncle, and wouldn't be caught dead in his shop," Zuko finishes, and we grin at each other.

"Jasmine Dragon it is."


	10. Chapter 10

a/n: this is kind of short, but I wrote it is a bonus chapter so yah. 

***

Zuko:

Today's the day. Sokka and I's first date. We decided to split up after school before going to the Jasmine Dragon, so I'm here at the shop with my uncle and he's at home.

"This is embarrassing," I mutter as Uncle Iroh smooths down my hair even more. The middle part- why, cruel spirits?

"I think you look very handsome," he tells me, before giving me a big smile. "Now, why don't you wait back here until your date comes? I can't wait to meet him," he winks at me, and I roll my eyes, but I'm smiling. It doesn't matter how awful my father and sister can get, because I have Iroh. I didn't even have to come out to him- just told him I'm bringing a date over and his name is Sokka- just like I would with a girl.

"Are you sure you don't want me to help out with the shop in the meantime?" I offer, but he shakes his head fervently, untying the green apron that matches his from around me.

"If I know my nephew, he's very nervous and I don't want him spilling hot tea all over a customer's lap," he chortles. It's true. Well, not the spilling hot tea all over a customer's lap bit, just the nerves. Sure, Sokka and I have been friends for forever and after Halloween night and everything, it's obvious he's into me. But maybe once he realizes what a dork I am at the actual relationship stuff- argh, I'm getting too much into my own head.

Do I look ok?

Yeah, I look fine, I assure myself, but then I hop into the customer bathroom anyway. The black button-up with green buttons seems a bit much, but at least it's short sleeve. Ugh, my hair looks ridiculous, but Iroh knows best.

Right?

Right.

I take a deep breath, and look at my reflection one last time, my eyes inadvertently shifting to look at my scar. It's a little surprising Sokka still likes me like this. It mars half my face, and for like a year after I got it, I refused to even touch it. I was afraid of it. I'm still afraid, but I know now to direct that fear at my father, who actually caused it. And Sokka helps me get over that fear.

I leave the bathroom three minutes before Sokka is supposed to get here, and the moment I enter the main room, full of happy kids and adults drinking tea, Sokka is there, looking nervous in his wolf's tail and a blue button-down top. Oh, he's nervous.

Oh, that's so cute.

***

Sokka:

I see Zuko there, across the shop, hand behind his head looking incredibly nervous. I steel my own nerves and wave, and he grins. Ok, I'm not nervous anymore. We can handle this. It's just, you know, our first actual date?

He comes over and stands in front of me awkwardly.

"Uhm, hi," he starts, and I wait patiently for whatever he's about to say, because he has that look on his face, the one that desperately wants me to say something. I won't. "You look nice."

"Uh, thanks!" I stutter, caught off guard. Spirits, this is a disaster. "You too-" my voice cracks. Just shoot me. (Actually, that hair is a disaster. Zuko has nice hair. Zuko's hair right now is atrocious.)

"Are you going to stand there and stutter all day or are you going to sit down with this nice boy?" I hear a kind, deep voice say, and I turn to see a round old man in a green apron and a big beard addressing Zuko. This must be Uncle Iroh.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Zuko says, and starts to lead me away, but I stick my hand out and shake Iroh's hand. This is basically Zuko's dad, right?

Oh, no pressure or anything, Sokka. This is just to most important person in Zuko's life and-

"I'm Sokka, and I think your son is really great and-" I blurt out, literally clapping my free hand over my mouth. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me.

"Hello, Sokka," Iroh chuckles, and I give a weak little laugh in return. "It's very nice to meet you too." I can feel my face turn as vibrantly red as the tea Iroh is holding. I sneak a glance to Zuko, who is also blushing.

"Uh, we're going to sit down Uncle, ok?" Zuko says, his voice surprisingly steady besides the slight tremor.

"I'll send Jin to collect your orders soon," Iroh promises, and then turns away. Zuko, his arm still hooked in mine, leads me to a two-person table right by the window, underneath the giant Jasmine Dragon sticker on the window.

"Your uncle is nice," I try, and he smiles.

"You think I'm pretty great?" He asks, ducking his head shyly.

"Uhm, yeah, but you know what's not great? That hair," I finish quickly. He winces.

"Yeah, Iroh kind of did me ridiculously dirty with it, and I shouldn't have trusted him to do my hair, but-"

"No," I finish, reaching over the table and mussing up his stupid hair until it sticks up in all different directions. Much better. "You shouldn't have." He laughs, and I remember what a stupid laugh he has, all raspy and decidedly un-sexy, but it always makes me grin like a little kid.

"Can I get your orders?" There's a waitress standing at our table, with crazy brown hair in a ponytail and the same green apron.

"Oh, hi, Jin," Zuko says kindly, and she gives him a friendly smile, shooting up a peace sign. "This is Sokka, by the way, my date." Her gaze turns to me and I find myself blushing again, as I wave.

"I'm Jin," she introduces herself with a warm voice. "Zuko's pretty much a tea expert, thanks to his uncle, so I'd trust him." She slides two menus forward, but I don't even open mine, just look at Zuko. Tea expert, huh?

He doesn't open his either, just muses for a short second.

"Bring out a honeydew, a strawberry, a blueberry, a mango, a green milk, and one of Uncle's favorites. All boba." She nods and scratches something down, whisking off. I gape at him.

"Zuko, there's only two of us, in case you haven't noticed."

"Yeah, but you've never had boba?" He asks, but it's more of a statement.

"No, I- not exactly a tea cultural hub in the South pole."

"Then we have to find your favorite," he says matter-of-factly. "Uncle has about 8 billion flavors, but I've pegged you as one of those six."

"Um, ok," I say baffled, glancing at the inside of the menu, wincing when I see the prices. "But six of those is kind of expensive-"

"I've got it," he brushes me off, and I feel ridiculously guilty.

"No, no," I say quickly. "I'm not- I'm going to pay-" It's a pretty empty threat. Gran-Gran isn't exactly an income machine, so we're living off my dad's military money and social security.

"No," he says firmly. "My dad wouldn't notice a missing million dollars off my credit card, much less a missing thirty." I don't like it, but it's pretty clear he's right, so I just run my hand through my hair and change the subject.

"You and that Jin girl, you friends?" I awkwardly try, and he nods.

"Yeah, Uncle hired her right off the bat so we've been friends forever. She's homeschooled, though. Back when we first opened, Uncle tried to get me and her together, because she was always hitting on me. That's cuz she thought I was a girl, though."

"I'm sorry, what?" I choke, laughing.

"I had a really awful ponytail, ok?" He says defensively. "It was just a couple days before she heard Uncle refer to me as his nephew, and she realized she'd messed up. She's lesbian, so once we cleared that up Uncle obviously stopped trying to get us together."

"That's the funniest thing ever," I cackle, and he pouts.

"That's rude," he says, but I just keep laughing, and eventually he starts laughing too.

This feels like normal. It's a perfect combination of first date and long-time best friends, and here, in his uncle's shop of all places, we can hold hands above the table, and laugh, and it's kind of pretty perfect. Zuko's pretty perfect.


	11. Chapter 11

***

Zuko:

Sokka looks amazing.

Can I say that? Is it too soon in our relationship to say that?

Nah.

Sokka looks amazing.

As we sit, talking, waiting for the tea, I can't help but notice every little thing. The way the pale light from the lanterns hanging from the ceiling glint against his tan skin. The way he leans forward so casually across the table, his nerves and ADHD only evident in the tapping of his fingers. The way he stares, fascinated, at the bonsai tree right next to him. I bet they don't have a lot of those in the South Pole.

Our conversation is light, the awkwardness fading away as we talk about basketball and soccer. It's almost like how it used to be, when we were just really good friends, but it's a little better, our hands clasped above the table, our feet playfully knocking into each other under the table, the slight feeling of anxiety in the air.

Eventually Jin comes back, whisking the teas onto the table with an expert flick of her wrist, and gives me a wink before she saunters away, back into the midst of clambering customers. Sokka looks at all the different glass cups with wide eyes, and colorful tea shining brightly in his eyes. Jin put two straws in each one, and I assume that's what the wink was for. Probably Iroh's idea, as I can guess he's spying on us happily from the kitchen.

"What first?" He asks greedily, moving for the strawberry tea, but I slap his hand away.

"The most important thing about tea-trying is to not be biased," I instruct matter-of-factly, remembering all the different times Iroh drilled this into my head. Sokka groans but still looks excited as he claps his hands over his eyes, still obviously peeking.

"Ok, I'm not looking," he lies, grinning.

"Sokka."

"Ok, ok fine. NOW I'm not looking." I wave my hand in front of his face and he doesn't react, so I shrug and pick out a tea. I grab the honeydew first, bright green, and guide the straw under his lips.

"Mhm, that's so... sweet," he says, and then gives a tiny little gasp as I assume he gets one of the tapioca pearls. "Bizarre!" I laugh and pull it away, taking a sip myself. Honeydew isn't my favorite flavor, because it's thick honey-like taste, but it was my mother's, and it reminds me of her.

Next I grab jasmine, my uncle's favorite, hence the name "Jasmine Dragon." He takes a sip and wrinkles his nose.

"That's very old-lady like." I have to laugh, although I know that if Iroh is watching us, Sokka will be dead by morning.

"That's my uncle's favorite," I tell him, pulling the tea away. I don't bother drinking it- every time Iroh makes me tea, like when I'm sick, he always makes me have some jasmine.

"No," he gasps, pulling his hands away so I can see his shocked and terrified expression.

"It's ok," I giggle, (no, I definitely DID NOT giggle.) "It's not my favorite either. It's so..."

"Floral," we say at the same time, and then laugh. He puts his hands back over his eyes eagerly, and after double checking that he's not peeking, I give him my favorite, strawberry. The color is so pretty, light pink, and it's the closest to red, the school's colors, that I can find.

"Oh, that's actually pretty good," he says, leaning forward to take a second sip. Reluctantly, I let him, but I lean forward and take another sip too, so our noses are mere centimeters away.

After I finally pull it away, he pulls his hands away and I grab a bottle of water from Jin so he can "cleanse his palette."

"You're so professional about this," he complains, and I just laugh.

"This is important. This is a very professional matter," I say, mocking Mr. Fong's serious accent, and am rewarded with an original Sokka grin that turns my stomach to melty butterflies.

After that, he tries green milk which he describes as "not bad but a bit... milky." Then, I give him blueberry, the pastel purple matching against his skin tone remarkably well.

"Oh, that's really good!" He mumbles between sips, and then opens his eyes and snatches it out of my hands. I laugh. Blueberry isn't my favorite anyway.

"So I take it that's your favorite?" I ask as I finish the remainders of the rest, but it's more of a rhetorical question as he finishes it with a rapid pace.

"Definitely," he says, swallowing and giving me a huge smile. I laugh, and then wave Jin over for another glass of blueberry and strawberry. She comes over quicker than expected, so I gulp down the last of the green milk tea really quickly, savoring the taste of the little tapioca pearls. Sokka eagerly grabs the to-go cup out of her hands, and I take the other one, paying the bill quickly and leaving a big tip. Both as a f-you to my dad and a thank-you to Jin.

"So, where-to next?" Sokka asks shyly as we stand up and walk out of the shop. I wave over my shoulder to Iroh, who I'm sure is watching with a beam on his face, and then gently grab Sokka's hand.

"Um, I hate to suggest because we used to do it all the time but-"

"Shopping?" He practically exclaims with glee.

"If you want to," I nonchalantly say, sipping the tea as we walk through the streets.

"I mean," he corrects, "very manly shopping because we are very manly men."

"Yes, definitely. So is that a yes?"

"That's a yes," he says giddily.

***

Sokka:

He truly does know his way to a boy's heart.

Ah, the mall. Perhaps the best place in Azulon. Zuko and I practically waltz in (well, I'm doing most of the waltzing, Zuko's doing more being-dragged and pretending-be-to-pouting.) We've gone here about a thousand times, but it's our first time as a couple, and I'm honestly excited. The only downside?

Zuko. Pays. For. Everything.

The first store, I assume I'm on my virtually non-existent budget, so I just pick out a bookmark and a pair of socks with little soccer balls all over them, but when I hand over the cash at the register, Zuko slides his card in front. The cash register raises an eyebrow but takes it and swipes it.

"Zuko!" I complain, smacking him.

"What?" He asks, genuinely confused. "This is my dad's money, he knows I go shopping a lot. Trust me, he won't miss it, and I'm the one taking you on this date." I grab the bag out of the bemused-looking cashier's hand and stomp away, still holding his hand.

"Why are you mad?" He asks, pulling me towards him. "I like spending money on you. Trust me."

"I don't need your pity," I mutter, trying to pull away, but he just grabs both my hands, ignoring the scene we're making.

"It's not pity, Sokka," he says firmly. "I promise. Part of it is because I like spending money on you, and another, smaller part of it is because it's my dad's money. The idea of his money being spent on you..."

"Ok," I say reluctantly. Honestly, I don't know how to feel. My pride feels all messed up, and I want to say no, but Zuko looks so earnest. I decide to take it as spiting his dad alongside with him, not as accepting a gift from Zuko. Yeah, that works. "But only because your dad's homophobic. And this is his money, right? Not a cent yours?"

"Nope," Zuko promises. "I keep my money from the Jasmine Dragon on a different card, so my dad can't get it. Ok?"

"Ok," I say again, a little excitedly, and we get back to some serious grade-A shopping.

We end up leavig the mall several hours later with a quite lovely, manly stash of things. I did convince him to let me buy us soft pretzels, which we happily eat as we walk into the streets, the sun slowly dipping in the sky. Zuko, in true Zuko fashion, probably bought ten outfits. I bought a whole assortment of things, only managing to pay for a couple of them (Zuko was sneaky- he'd distract me as we paid, or notice the things I said I liked and buy them anyway.) My overflowing bags include several fabulous and assorted pieces of clothes, a new satchel, (it isn't a purse, thank you very much,) a green belt with a gold buckle to match said satchel, a dozen different silver earrings, and pastel blue high tops, which I'm already envisioning the soles covered in my signature doodles.

What, can't a STEM guy like art too? You know, I'm beginning to see why Zuko called me contradictory.

We walk towards the beach, which is only a couple blocks away from the mall, but first I pull him towards a detour.

"Where are you taking me?" He asks, laughing.

"I'm about to change your life," I gloat, "with a signature Sokka flair."

"No, not a Sokka flair!" He proclaims dramatically, almost throwing his bags in the air.

I laugh, and we round the corner, presenting perhaps my favorite part of Azulon: the canals. Tiny houses line each one, and bridges criss-cross each canal. Flowers and trees tower over the edge, and the sides crumble. They're not that old, according to Wikipedia, but with the ocean a block away via the nearest canal that we approach, the flowers from the trees falling in the water, and the gondolas bobbing on the side, it feels almost ancient.

"You've been to the canals?" I ask as we cross a bridge, but I assumed he had. I'm shocked when he shakes his head no. "Hold on, I've lived in this city for less than a year and I know the best part of it, and you don't?"

"The more time I spend with you," he says softly, "the more I see, even of my own home."

"In a whole new light," I say, my voice dipping down too. We stop walking and look out over the ocean.

"Like opening your eyes underwater," he murmurs, his focus on the water leading out to the ocean, the water reflected in his golden eyes.

"Like embracing fire," I add quietly, but I can barely hear myself, because I'm looking at the sky. It's filled with fire, the sun brilliantly sinking below the horizon. I never used to look at the sunset like that. The sky is like the middle ground between the ocean and land, between water and fire. It looks like, right now, the ocean and the clouds, and the sun, are coming together, meeting at the horizon. I'm not a poet, but it's like...

"I've never really loved the sunset," Zuko says, interupting my thoughts. "But it's pretty interesting."

"Interesting?" I snort, but the look he gives me is 100% serious.

"It's beautiful, Sokka," he says earnestly, and my laugh disappears as I look back out at the sky.

"I know." I don't think he heard me.

"The sun is sinking into the ocean, and instead of being destroyed, they're both even better." Sure, if they were, it wouldn't be scientifcally correct, but- damn it, Zuko's being emotional. I see his point, I really do.

"They're both even better," I repeat, and I'm not sure if we're talking about the sunset anymore.

His eyes are full of the ocean. Even though Zuko is fiery and passionate, there's something about the ocean in his eyes, cooling and strong and steely and undeniably Zuko.

***

Zuko:

His eyes are full of fire. Even though Sokka is generally easygoing and laidback, the fire reflects something different, something strong and stubborn and just... Sokka.

"Oh, uhm, I made you something," he stutters, breaking the moment, and I turn to him, curious. He looks so flustered as he digs in his pocket, and it makes me smile. Proudly, he pulls out a little-

Um, I honestly do not know what he's handing me.

"Uh, thank you?" I say, mystified as I take it. "Is it... a bear?" It's a little carved, thing, with what look like four legs and what I can only assume to be a face.

"It's a fish," he tells me, a betrayed look on his face.

"Oh... what are these?" I point at what I can only assume to be legs.

"Those are it's fins," he says matter-of-factly, and I try so hard not to laugh. Sokka's talents do not lay in the gift-giving or making category. They're more of joke-making, STEM-genius, awful-artist and soccer-player type. Not great for... carving?

"Thank you," I say, trying to sound as genuine as I can. I must convince him, because he nods and looks back along the canal, just as the sun disappears down the horizon and the night air sets in, the clouds obscuring only some of the stars.

"Now, I want to take you to my favorite part of the city," I say. "If this is Venice Street, it's only a couple blocks that way."

"Your favorite part of the whole city, huh?" He asks as we start laughing, our hands still entwined.

"And it's so close to this," I say, wonderingly. The canals are beautiful, the moon, which has just emerged from a cloud, reflecting in the water as a couple passes us in a lazily moving gondola.

"And you still never came," he jokes, knocking me with his shoulder, almost pushing me into the canal.

"Hey!" I push back into him, but he pouts by resting his head on my shoulder, pouting. Butterflies start having a seizure in my stomach as my breath hitches, and I try to keep walking normally. Does this get easier? Will I ever not get butterflies when Sokka's face is inches from mine?

I steal glances at him as we keep walking, our feet naturally swinging in time. There are boxes of my mother's things in my room, hidden under my bed, that I stole before my dad could throw them out, and one of them is full of cheesy romance novels. Azula would probably literally kill me with shame and humiliation if she ever saw me reading them, but I read them anyway. I can see similarities between the romance there and me and Sokka. For one thing, the protagonist (always a sexy virgin damsel in distress) describes the love interest (a hot, brooding, strong-and-silent guy with washboard abs that definitely didn't turn me gay) as flawless, like sculpted from marble. And Sokka? Is it mean or heartless if I say he isn't flawless?

I mean, his face isn't flawless. He has a nick in his eyebrow and a tiny scar above his lip and I don't think his face is symmetrical. It makes me love him even more, though. Sokka himself isn't flawless. He can be dramatic and stubborn and pouty. Sokka isn't flawless, but it makes him better. Flawless people aren't good, and I like that I can see his flaws right on the top. He doesn't hide them. When you hide them, they simmer and they boil and they turn you into an Azula or my father.

"What are you looking at?" His voice interrupts my thoughts, and I'm surprised at how quiet and tender it is. I shake myself out of my head, back to Earth, back to Sokka, and realize I'm staring at him, instincitvely dodging the occassional person as we walk.

"Um, nothing," I blush, and turn away. "Oh, good. We're here." We cross the street and there it is. I clench Sokka's hand a little closer and lead him closer to my mother.

Well.

My mother is probably dead, but this is the closest I'll get.

It's a tiny park, a clearing among the skyscrapers, full of maple and pine trees, and all sorts of flowers. My mother was badass, but she still liked lily-of-the-valleys and romance novels. In the middle of the little park, the stone path leads to a metal statue of a woman in a mask. You can't tell who she is because of the mask, but I'm her son, and I was here when Iroh had it built, had this whole place built. I recognize the dress she's wearing, and the long black heeled boots. I recognize her slender fingers, one in the folds of her dress, one at her temple. I recognize her long hair, that in real life is the exact same color as mine. I recognize the mask, a remnant of her past that she never explained, that hangs on my bedroom wall.

"Zuko, is this-"

"My mother," I whisper. I want to touch the mask like I used to when I was younger, trying to peer around the metal corners to see my mother. The mask is there so that Ozai, on the off chance he finds this park, will not have it destroyed. I'm surprised it's still here. This park was originally meant to be for Iroh's late son- a memorial tree for him is around that corner, past this statue- but Iroh had the statue built. For me.

We don't say much more. We just stand there, hands clasped as I try my hardest to silently introduce the best person in my present and future to the best person from my past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: ok I know this chapter kinda sucks but... please let me know what you're thinking in the comments!! seeing y'all's comments seriously makes this worth it, I probably would've stopped by now without them.


	12. Chapter 12

Time Skip: (End of November/Beginning of December, so about a month has passed.)

***

Sokka:

Don't get me wrong, being friends with Zuko was amazing. But dating him? Otherworldly. I see everything in a whole new light, and we spend almost every night together that he doesn't have basketball practice or I don't have soccer practice or STEM class. We spend about one night every week or so with the gang, but because everyone's so busy, it's hard to coordinate. Sundays are still off-limit- that's time with Gran-Gran and Katara for me, and time with Iroh for Zuko. It should be hard to find time to spend with him because of all of our different activities, but it's not.

We've done all sorts of stuff together, stuff we never did together as friends- obviously. We've spent entire weekends camping and swimming on the beach, exploring the city and all it's tiny shops, visiting the Jasmine Dragon, attending stupid school events and everything in-between. Not to mention the making out in school bathrooms, underneath bleachers, in the back of movie theaters, at sleepovers, etc. etc.

And always, I take pictures. I try to record these times, these perfect moments in other ways, like drawing, but my art skills do not do them justice. So, I just take pictures, and I keep them under my bed in the box. I don't hang them up on my wall, because of Katara, but I hope that one day I can.

Katara.

My little sister. My dad made me promise to protect her, and ever since, we've walked a fine line between a guardian/little kid and best friend dynamic, even with Gran-Gran. In fact, it's more of both of us watching Gran-Gran, and us keeping each other out of trouble in the South Pole, both doing our parts for the village as the chief's kids. But ever since we came to Azulon... it feels less like she's my little sister, and more like my twin that's been drifting apart from me. With the added element of trying to hide Zuko from her, I can feel myself split from her. I would do anything for Katara, no questions asked, so this feels like a betrayal. But what's the other option? I tell her about Zuko. Best case scenario, she's just super pissed I kept this huge secret from her. Worst case scenario... She hates Zuko, so finding out I'm royally head over heels for him will be a shock. Katara's a social justice warrior, so I'm not worried she'd be homophobic. (We've never really discussed my queerness, and I haven't officially told her I'm gay, but she's seen me making out with random boys and I'm like 98% sure she knows anyway.) But what if Katara makes me choose? I can't. I can't choose between the two of them, because I would have to choose Katara. And I can't lose Zuko.

It's just not an option.

Anyway.

(Or bi, or pan, yaknow, whatever. )

(Probably bi?)

(Bleh.)

Anyway,

***

Zuko:

Sokka has become more and more of a Nation High phenomena each day he spends here. He's not popular by any means, but everybody knows Sokka. Not only has he become a soccer star, second only to Suki, of course, but he's so much more. The STEM kids love him because he's a genius, but also because he brings a little sarcasm to their normally-nerdy meetings. The popular kids think he's funny. Plus, he's known school-wide for his notoriously bad luck. (Still, he never leaves our little friend group, and I get the idea that people love Sokka in small doses. The gang is the only group of kids who truly love Sokka for who he is.)

While this is great and all, and good on Sokka for being so universally liked, it does make a guy jealous. As in, me. I hate people in the hall just not knowing we're together, and it's like an invitation for, 'hey, come flirt with my boyfriend!' And hey, people do.

First, there's Yue, always giving him moony puppy eyes. She's probably the only one in the gang I don't have a relationship with, so it's not like I can say anything. Then, whenever we're out and about not explicitly holding hands, there are always cute surfer girls in bikinis trying to give him their number. Sokka always turns them down, awkwardly, obviously, but it still irritates me. (Not like I complain. Sokka's almost strangled several skater girls flirting with me, and then there's the whole Mai incident...) When I attend Sokka's soccer games, kids from the other team always try to hit him and Suki up, and they both politely turn them down, but I think people feel like Suki and Sokka are a couple. Yikes. I don't even know who Suki is dating now... Toph?

But, all in all, I get over it. Because at the end of the day, I'm the one who gets to touch Sokka. Like right now.

"Zuko," he complains, squirming, and Suki, in front of us on the bleachers turns around and glares, my hand barely having time to make it back to me and away from Sokka's waist. I give her an innocent smile, and she turns back to cheering for the wrestling match, where Toph is currently beating the hell out of some burly senior. Thankfully, Sokka chose the back of the bleachers, where everyone is facing away from us, and Suki, Haru, and Aang are in front of us. Katara is nowhere to be seen, which gives my spirits a significant boost as I mouth shut up to a very ticklish Sokka. He shakes his head feverishly but I ignore him. I'm in a surprisingly good mood, and I can't wait to tell Sokka why after the match. But for the meantime...

I snake my hand along the back of his waist, and he tries to slap my hand away without alerting our friends in front of us. Aang catches us out of the corner of his eye, and winks, almost as poorly as Toph, before turning away. I slip my hand under Sokka's gray shirt, and he yanks my hand out, typing on his phone quickly. Mine buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out to see a text from Snoozles (AKA Sokka,compliments of Toph.)

Not here, stupid!

Quickly, I type back with a devilish grin on my face, why not? :) I hear him huff and then type back. A cheer goes through the audience as I can only assume Toph swiftly destroys another opponent, but neither of us even look up.

Our friends are here, stupid.

So? Aang already knows, and don't pretend you haven't told Suki.

I haven't.

Mhm.

I haven't!

I'm not mad lol.

Why are you in such a good mood... Should I be worried? Instead of answering him, I lean over and nuzzle against his neck. He stills, but doesn't pull away, everyone around us too transfixed with the match to even pay attention.

"Let's get some popcorn," he suggests, his voice shaky, and I give him a huge, innocent grin.

"We're going to get popcorn," I announce as I pull a stumbly Sokka out of the stands.

"M'kay," Suki says, not tearing her eyes from Toph in the match. Nobody else even says anything as we make our way through the sweaty crowds.

"Sorry, sorry," I say, accidentally bumping into someone as Sokka hops out into the aisle. The girl turns, and I realize with a start it's- oh, sh-

"Zu-Zu!" It's Ty Lee, her long braid flying as she turns to face me, wide brown eyes and innocent face not at all matching her short skirt and tank top. "I didn't know you were such a fan of wrestling!"

"Um," I awkwardly try to come up with a response while also gesturing subtly towards Sokka to go hide. He gets the gist and disappears behind the bleachers. "Toph's my friend."

"The Blind Bandit?" Ty Lee asks excitedly, referring to Toph's wrestling nickname. How can her eyes get any wider?

"Um, yes?" I ask, puzzled. "You're into wrestling?"

"Oh, no," she wrinkles her nose in distaste. "The auras in this place are all so... sweaty. But Mai likes to, even if she won't admit it!" Uh-oh. Yeah, there's Mai, sitting right next to her in black jeans and a red halter top, currently staring very intensely at the match. I give her a little wave, and she glances over, nodding quickly, and turns back to to the match. Ok, that's fair.

"Um, Mai, do you wanna talk-"

"Watching the match," she says, in her dull, low voice and Ty Lee wraps her arms around her, Mai stiffening.

"Watching the match! What a fun phrase!" She giggles.

"Fun," me and Mai echo at the same time, and that only increases the tension in our little bubble, all the people sitting around us oblivious. Thank the spirits Ty Le didn't notice-

"Is that the boy from the party?" She gasps, craning her neck around Mai to the concession stand where Sokka was hiding- but not well enough, because she, you know, saw him.

"Maybe," I blurted out, and she wheeled back, her eyes full of awe.

"I knew it wasn't a one-night stand! That's what I told Azula, and then she wanted to tell your dad, but you know, she doesn't have proof," she babbles, me getting more and more uncomfortable by the second, "and then we were pretty sure you were just friends, so me and Mai told her to drop it but of course she didn't but she can't find any evidence but-"

"Me and Sokka are just here with the rest of our friends," I say, gesturing towards where Suki and Aang cheer at the top of their lungs for Toph. I'm not ashamed of Sokka. I'm not lying. It's... the truth.

"Ok," Ty Lee says cheerfully, but I know this is going straight to Azula anyway. Well, I heard what you said. She didn't have any proof.

***

Sokka:

Ugh, what is taking Zuko so long?

I gave up waiting for him a couple minutes ago and headed over to the concession stand, where a greasy, zit-covered teenager sold concessions. Now, I'm forking over the cash for a bag of buttery popcorn.

"Fifty cents more, dude," he burps, and I straight-up gasp, snatching the bag from his hands.

"As a matter of fact, no, this cost four fifty which is exactly how much I paid."

"Sales tax."

"That is not how sales tax- what??" I exclaim, but Zuko's behind me, pulling me away.

"What was that about?" He asks, and I practically spit towards the concession stand.

"Ridiculous," is the only answer I give him, and he shrugs, stopping when we're underneath the bleachers. I notice the worried look on his face, and I soften up, pulling us into each other's arms despite the popcorn. "Hey, what's wrong?" The look dissolves from his face as he leans forward, pecking me on the lips.

"Nothing," he chimes giddily, and I have to raise an eyebrow.

"Ok, seriously, what's up?" He just snatches the popcorn from my hand and greedily gobbles some down. "Hey!" I grab it back, eating some myself before throwing some at him. He ducks, but some still get into his hair.

"Hey!" He mocks me, grabbing a fistful himself and throwing it at me.

"Oh, gross!" I complain, hip checking him away as I shove as much in my face as possible. "Hmerk-memmer," I mumble, my cheeks likely bulging out like a chipmunk.

"What was that?" He teases, putting a hand on my chest and pushing me against one of the poles. I'm pretty sure Suki and everyone are right above us.

"I said," I swallow, "jerk-bender."

"What does that even mean?" He asks incredulously, trying to swat more popcorn out of my hand, but I just pull it away. (We're making a huge mess. I hope the concession boy has to sweep too.)

"Mine," he whispers, pulling the popcorn out of my hand, and I raise an eyebrow, trying to hide my furious blush. Is he talking about the popcorn or, or me?

"That's not fair," I say as he holds the popcorn just out of my grasp. How? He is just barely taller than me. Plus, I'm normally the one in this position making him all flustered. What does he know that I don't, and why is he looking at me like that? Not that I'm complaining. Sometimes I get the overwhelming urge to just hold his face, to make sure he's real, and that he's mine. Other times I get the urge to knee him in the crotch. This is definitely one of the latter times.

I elbow him, but he dodges, and he dodges my foot sweep too. Well, I don't want to actually take him down all the way. Don't wanna spill the popcorn.

"Ok, you can have it under one condition," he says, and I feel like a little kid for some reason. That's not fair.

"Ok?" I ask reluctantly.

"Go with me," he asks, and his eyes are full of need.

"Zuko, you haven't told me where you're going," I point out, and I don't even take advantage of his distraction to grab the popcorn.

"Oh," he laughs, like obviously. "Um, so every year, the sports teams in the beginning of January go on like, a trip. And the soccer and basketball teams go to Boiling Rock, which is a ski resort up north a bit. And I specifically told Suki not to tell you so I could tell you and it's like two nights and I was wondering if you wanted to go maybe-"

"Zuko," I stop him. "Um, yeah, that sounds great."

"Ok," he says relieved. "The soccer team is going too."

"That sounds like fun, Zuko," I say, and I'm not lying. Two nights and three days alone with Zuko up at a ski resort? (Well, not alone. With the soccer teams and basketball teams too.) Yeah, I can do that.

Only one thing.

A school trip?

At a fancy ski resort?

That is going to be expensive.

And I would rather go in a wrestling match against Toph then tell Zuko that and have him pay for me again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: this chapter is all Sokka, fyi. Think of it as like, an independent chapter. The next will be all Zuko.

***

Sokka:

It's been a couple of days since Zuko dropped the Boiling Rock bombshell (not to be dramatic,) and since then... well, I have extremely mixed feelings. Katara would make a list of all my different thoughts, so that's what I'll do.

Number One: I want to go to Boiling Rock. I really do. For two reasons... um...

Number One part A: My friends! The soccer team, who I all love, and Suki, of course. Suki's loads of fun. I would love to be able to hang out with the soccer team for an entire weekend, team bonding and whatnot.

Number One part B: Zuko, obviously. Maybe we could even be roommates... it'd be like the ultimate date, only safe from the suspicions of Azula and Katara because it's school-sanctioned.

Number Two: I'm a pretty bomb skier. I mean, there's not a whole lot of things to do in the South Pole, and most of them involved the snow. You don't just grow up in a snowy tundra for most your life and not learn all the effective means of transportation: snowmobiling, snowboarding, snowshoeing, sledding, ice skating, you name it, Katara and I have done it.

Number Three: Unfortunately, Boiling Rock isn't going to happen, because it costs 3 grand. Zuko definitely sugarcoated the "up north" bit, it's at least a five hour bus ride, and all the kids here are so rich the busses themselves are probably five-star resorts.

Which leads me to where I am right now, whining on Suki's shoulder after practice got out. We're sitting on the bleachers as the other exhausted, muddy teammates leave, the sky giving a little drizzle as if the weather itself can sense how miserable I am. At least someone can. Suki seems quite indifferent.

"Sokka, that does sound like quite a dilemma-"

"Oh you have no idea!" I gasp. "I cannot afford that!"

"Then don't go," she advises flatly, pulling out a handheld mirror to check up her flawless eyeliner. How she can absolutely destroy the entire team in scrimmage and lead the team through grueling workouts for an hour, and still have the most badass makeup is beyond me.

"That's not an option," I mumble, pressing my sweaty face in her jersey even more.

"Then do go," she says in the same monotone voice, snapping the scrunchie on her wrist as she turns to face me, crossing her legs and taking my fidgety hands in hers. "Look, Sokka. I want to help, but-"

"No, that's ok," I assure her quickly. "I just don't know what to do about it. It's so much money, and I can't put that on Gran-Gran. Any money we spare is in Katara and I's college accounts."

"Well, don't be too hard on yourself," she tries to comfort me. "I'm not sure if I can go. Hell, I'm not sure if half the soccer team can go. The trip price is just, a lot this year."

"There has to be something we can do then!" I exclaim. "A fundraiser or something."

"Hm," she contemplates. "The team used to sell stuff at the cultural heritage festival, which is this weekend, but the theme for this festival..."

"Just tell me Suki I have to go on this trip-"

"It's Asian heritage," she tells me, and I have to nod. Suki herself is Japanese, and Nation High, as Katara would put it, is known for its 'diversity.' Probably half the soccer team is Asian of some sort, so this should be great.

"Great, so what should we make? Sushi?"

"No," Suki gasps, a hand flying to her mouth dramatically. "I would rather die than make goddamn sushi. My grandmother, much less my ancestors, would kill me. Goodbye Suki."

"What are we talking about?" One of the soccer players, a midfielder named Kyara walks up, sitting next to us. She must've lingered after practice. Kyara is nice, and a really good soccer player, usually one of Suki's assistants. She's also the envy of many a soccer boys, with her perfect Vietnamese features and long black hair, which is currently tied up with our signature green scrunchie

"We're having a fundraiser so we can go to Boiling Rock," I tell her excitedly.   
Kyana scrunches her nose up, confused.

"But everyone can already-" Suki elbows her before she can finish, and Kyara shuts up.

"Already what?" I ask, turning to Suki, who just smiles.

"Everyone can already, um, help! I'm sure we can find lots of volunteers to help," she says. I just shrug, brushing the weirdness off.

"Ok, well, that brings us back to the big question. What are we going to sell at the cultural heritage festival?"

"Fans," Suki says excitedly. I look at her, confused.

"I'm sorry? Like, electric fans?"

"No, stupid," she cuffs me over the head, and Kyana laughs. "You know what my entire family does, right?"

"Cool eyeliner?" I guess. "Killing sexists?"

"Dominating the soccer world?" Kyana adds in.

"Make scrunchies that shoot knives?" I say, laughing so hard I bump into Kyana who is also laughing. Suki does not seem impressed.

"Y'all aren't actually that far away." We stop laughing and look at her suspiciously. "C'mon, let's meet my family."

As we walk to the subway, Suki explains a bit about her family to both of us, and it's nice to hear this side of Suki. We're very close friends, but I've never been over to her house.

"My family has been here for ages," she explains. "They were here when Nation High was built, and they founded the soccer program here, which is why we're called the Kyoshi Warriors."

"It did seem a bit much for a high school soccer team," Kyana muses. I have to agree.

We get on the subway and ignore the looks. We do look a motley crew- Suki, as badass as ever with her short choppy brown hair and long eyeliner, flawless Kyana, attracting looks from every boy in the train, and me, with my ponytail in a scrunchie, all of us wearing matching, filthy, sweaty jerseys. We get let off and Suki guides us through the crowds. I've never been through this part of town, the tiny shops with fascinating smells and even more fascinating strangers almost distracting me on several occassions. Soon, though, Suki leads us to the corner of a bustling street, to a shop with a glowing sign reading Kyoshi Fans.

"Ah," I say, and take in the whole shop. It's obviously old, but with hints of modernity. The window displays are full of the most gorgeous ornate hand fans of all different colors, some metal, some bamboo, some other materials. She leads us in the door and the shop... well, it radiates Suki. On one side, there's what looks like a dojo, where girls in matching uniforms spar each other and fight dummies. It looks like karate, but with a twist- they throw razor sharp metal golden fans into the wall. On the other side of the shop is even more dazzling arrays of hand fans, and a girl hops up to us. She's wearing dark green paperbag pants, clunky white shoes, and a black tank top, and she looks like she's maybe eleven or twelve, her hair tied up in chopsticks. I know that eyeliner...

"Suki!" She gasps, and gives Suki a huge hug. Suki laughs, a little embarrassed as the girl peels off from her, filthy as well.

"Hey, Yori. These are my friends from the soccer team," she introduces us. "This is Sokka, and Kyana." The girl, Yori, bows at Kyana, and then turns to me, eyes wide.

"Oh, helllloooo," she practically swoons.

"Uhm, hi?" I try. "Nice to meet you?"

"The pleasure," she proclaims, "is all mine." Suki quickly ushers her away before coming back to us.

"So, I was thinking, maybe my grandmother will let us sell the fans at the festival. It's kind of a short notice but if we stay here all night we'll be ready by tomorrow."

"I'm down!" I say excitedly, and Kyana nods.

"I'll call our teammates, see if anyone wants to help. Suki, I'm still not sure why-"

"Let's get to it, then," she says briskly.

***

Time Skip: (Still Sokka)

I wake up the next morning sprawled next to someone. Hm.

"Zuko?" I whisper when I see black hair, but then Kyana rolls over and smiles sleepily.

"Sokka, you idiot, I'm not your boyfriend." A couple thing hit me. I remember last night and all the... oh spirits, I never wanna make another fan in my entire life. Also-

"Zuko's not my boyfriend," I whisper, furiously red, hoping the other handful of teammates who fell asleep in this backroom too are still asleep.

"Ok, Sokka, sure," she rolls her eyes, which even I can see in the dim light. I hear someone rustle and I sit up quickly, to see Suki grinning.

"Definitely your boyfriend, Sokka," she says in a normal volume.

"Shut up!" I hiss, but I realize all the other teammates are awake and grinning at me.

"Ok, Sokka," they chorus, and I have to bury my head in my arms. How humiliating.

A couple hours later, we are at the fair, just opening up our booth. My hands are calloused from making so many fans, but it's worth it seeing the displays.

"Kyana, get back here!" I hear Suki scold as Kyana wonders off to look at the other displays. "Sokka, pay attention, we have customers coming. Yori, I knew I shouldn't have let you come put-that-down-this-instant-"

"Relax," I say, giving her a big hug. She squirms out of my arms but gives me a smile anyway, running her hands through her hair. It's a little odd not seeing Suki in her schoolwear or soccer uniform- she's wearing a black tank top, her usual mom jeans, a big baggy green coat with a red, yellow, and blue pattern on it. I also recognize her chunky white and green sneakers. "It's gonna be fine."

Several long hours later, things are, as a matter of fact, very much not fine. We've sold maybe three fans, every customer just walking right past us. It's about 3 in the afternoon, and we're approaching the end of our allotted shift, so we're packing up. I can't help but sink into the heavy feeling in my heart as I feel Boiling Rock with Zuko slipping away.

"I'm sorry Sokka," Suki comes and comforts me. I give her a quizzical look as her eyes widen.

"Why are you sorry? Now you can't-" It hits me. "Oh. Unless you all can afford it and were only doing this for me." Guilt slams into me like a brick wall as the other team members look at me, embarrassed. "Tell me you didn't do this all for me. Suki-"

"Um," she starts, but I don't know what to say. This is so embarrassing. Suki dragged everyone out here for hours and worked all night so I could hang out with my boyfriend for a couple days, and it didn't even work. I quickly tape the last box shut and then walk away, ignoring Suki's call. How do I tell Zuko I can't go? He's so excited, too. There's nothing I can do, though, so-

"Oh-" I startle as I bump into someone in the crowd. "I'm so-"

"Snoozles?" I look down to see a short someone with black hair in a huge bun, a big gray sweatshirt underneath an even bigger green t-shirt, over-the-knee black socks, and tan combat boots. She looks up- well, sort of up, more over my left shoulder.

"Oh, hey, Toph!" I say, relieved as she clutches to the sleeve of my jacket. "Are you out here by yourself?"

"No, I was with Katara," she grumbles. The crowd starts bumping into us, so we start walking. "But my parents came and if they saw me like this-"

"Not good," I guess, from what little I know of her parents. I pull her slightly to the right as a guy in a wheelchair comes by.

"So I ditched her." I have to give it to her, she has guts. "What's wrong?" There was only the slightest bit of concern in her voice.

"Well." It's a long story, but Toph's a pretty good listener, so I tell her all about it.

"I see. Shut up, don't laugh!" she punches me as I giggle. "I understand. You really want to get at it with your boyfriend at a fancy resort-"

"Toph!" My ears turn red, and I'm glad she can't mock me for it.

"-but it's too pricey, and you refuse to tell Zuko that so you went to Suki for help, who felt bad she convinced the soccer team to pretend like they couldn't go so they could help you with a fundraiser because your stupid pride makes things too complicated."

"Spirits, Toph," I grumble at her monotone voice. "You don't have to be so, so-"

"Honest about it?" She flatly says, and I nod before remembering she can't see me.

"Well, yeah."

"There's only one thing to do, I'm afraid," she drawls, throwing herself dramatically in my arms which makes navigating through the crowd quite hard to do.

"What?" I say eagerly, and she pulls my face in real close to reveal the most devilish grin.

"The only thing left to resort to."

"What?"

"Crime."

I almost drop her right then and there.

"Crime, Toph?"

"Shut up, Sokka," she hisses, and smacks me. I look around guiltily at the crowd, glad the nearby crowd control guy didn't hear us.

"Well, what do you want me to say?" I hiss back. "Care to elaborate?"

"Look around, snoozles," she proclaims. "What do you see?"

"Um," I start, annoyed. "There's a lot of people. A lot of booths selling Asian stuff. There's a big dragon with kids in it walking around. Mhm, that smells good."

"Focus, snoozles," she demands and I roll my eyes. "I know you rolled your eyes."

"How?" I ask, but she just shrugs. I look away and peer through the crowds. "Um, there's some sort of like, carnival games?"

"Bingo, snoozles!" She sounds so triumphant, and points in the opposite direction from them. "Let's go."

"Towards the games or where you're pointing?" I ask, confused. "Because you're pointing at a brick wall."

"The games!" She growls, and punches me.

"Ow," I complain, but I cut out of the crowd and towards the nearest one, where it looks like you have to hit one of those things with a hammer really hard to make the little thing fly up- you know what I'm talking about. "Care you explain what we're doing here?"

"Besides my parents not knowing that I wrestle," Toph explains, "they don't know I used to sneak out of the house all the time to do these. Watch and learn, snoozles."

"Come one, come all!" A Chinese guy with an impressive mustache calls, trying to get lingering passersby to play. "Win cash! A grand total of a thousand dollars to the strongest among you!"

"Nobody could do that," I hear someone familiar say, and turn to see Aang, wearing his familiar orange hoodie.

"Um, where did you come from?" I ask.

"I was looking for Katara," Aang says brightly, but then peers at Toph. "But what you guys are doing looks like more fun."

"This isn't fun, twinkle toes," Toph snaps, making Aang jump. "This is going to get Sokka some serious cuddle-time with his boyfriend, it's for a good and important cause!"

Aang still looks as confused as ever, and I'm still trying to figure out how he got here, when Toph drags me forward.

"Hi," Toph says brightly, her face full of surprisingly good innocence as she faces the man. Well, close enough to the man. I subtly angle her so she's facing him, but she pushes me away. "This sounds like fun. Can I play?"

"Are you sure, little girl?" The man laughs, and Aang looks nervous, like he wants to step in. "You might want to leave it to a, well, bigger friend." He looks at me and Aang, and then shakes his head.

"Hey-" I step forward, insulted, but Toph shoves her hand back, keeping me back.

"Well, I'd like to give it a go," she says sweetly, and forks over five bucks. He takes it, sniffs, and turns back to calling other people. I hand Toph the hammer, watching with avid curiosity. You can't see it under her strategically-worn hoodie, but Toph is actually ridiculously strong for a little blind girl. Still, there's no way she could-

"Hey, snoozles," she whispers, and the guy turns to us, but she just gives a little stretch, making him shrug and turn away, back to yelling at random pedestrians. "Put your hand on the back of the backboard." Mystified, I reach behind the glowing lights and feel around. "Feel a switch?"

"Yeah," I whisper.

"Switch it as low as you can."

Trying to look as subtle as I can, I do what she says.

"Good?" She asks, and I nod. Wait.

"Yep." The vendor turns back around again, but Aang is there quickly to distract him.

"Can my friend go now? Please? Please?" Aang asks, giving me enough time to pull my hand out and position myself.

"Yeah, yeah, kid, get it over with."

"Ok, mister," Toph grins, and pulls the hammer back, before slamming it down with such force the needle climbs all the way up and hits directly where it needs to for the flashing lights to go off. She almost broke the machine, and the guy's face is priceless.

"I don't- I can't- you cheated!"

"I'm just stronger then I look, I guess. Beginner's luck? Should I go again?" Toph asks, sticking her bottom lip out a little bit for effect. He fervently shakes his head no, and scampers over to his cash box, unlocking the three different locks and pulling out a wad of cash.

"Just- that's enough for today!" Toph takes the wad, the most shit-eating grin on her face.

"Ok, sir!" She chimes, and Aang and I just stand there as dumbfounded as the vendor as she walks away, cackling. "Have a nice day!"

"C'mon!" I grab Aang's arm and we race after Toph. The moment we're out of ear's distance from him, we begin bombarding her.

"How did you do that?" Aang asks incredulously.

"Simple, twinkle toes," she shrugs. "First off, I always wear baggy clothes, so I look like a helpless little blind girl and they can't see these guns." She flexes for effort, but I'm too stunned to laugh. "Plus, behind most of the hammer games is a little switch that tells the modes. They usually have it rigged, but every once in a while they'll switch it. A game that nobody wins is a little suspicious. So, if you put it on the most non-rigged mode, and the combination of me being pretty muscular..." She brandishes the cash. "Voila."

"I..." I'm actually speechless as she thrusts it into my hands. "I don't know what to say-"

"How about, 'thank you Toph!'" She mocks. "'You're a genius, Toph.'"

"Thank you Toph you're a genius," I say automatically. "Are you sure I can take this?"

"Please," she snorts. "This fair comes here like, every month. If I want I can always come back."

"So is that enough?" Aang chirps, and I have to shake my head.

"I would need about triple this. But thank you Toph, this seriously helps-"

"Shut up, snoozles," she says, and drags us towards a new game. "I can do this all day."

Well, we only had to do it for about an hour. The next game we properly scammed was a dice game, where Toph just had me tell her when they were about to roll so she could slam her fist down behind her back, messing up the rigged dice and properly winning us the game. (The appeal of the game was that unless they rolled doubles, you won. Obviously because they were rigged, they normally won. But not with Toph.) We pulled a similar trick on a game with some sticks, of which there were lots of vendors for that game we could scam. Then, there was a 'Test-Your-Strength' game, where they guess how strong you are and then you have to arm-wrestle a machine. Toph easily won like, $500 at that one. All she had to do was bat her eyelids and stumble around a bit before they guessed she could barely beat the machine and, with the help of a handy button on the underside of the machine and Toph's bizarre strength, we dominated. Finally, Aang actually won the last game for us, one of those where you climb the horizontal rope ladder to hit the button. I guess Toph's name for him, 'twinkle toes,' is pretty accurate, because he looked like a tiny monkey scampering up and down the rigged ropes.

"So, how much did you get, Sokka?" Aang eagerly says as we leave the festival. I quickly shuffle through the bills, and- yeah, it's unbelievable. We're $200 above our goal. I tell them that, and Aang practically jumps around in glee, while Toph just smiles.

"Thanks, Toph," I say, as Aang hops around whooping. "I really- um, I really appreciate-"

"Stuff it, snoozles," she says, laughing a tiny bit. "No problem."

"I think we deserve a treat," I announce, and then add as an afterthought, "and I need to apologize to Suki."

"Nothing says 'sorry I'm a dink' and 'good for us' like custard tarts," Aang says, veering off to the side to a vendor selling the most delicious tarts. I steer Toph over, and Aang was right. Not only will Suki love these, but knowing that I get to go to Boiling Rock with Zuko because of my amazing friends?

Well, it feels pretty good. (Almost as good as these tarts.)


	14. Chapter 14

***

Zuko: (Set between the last two chapters)

Three nights with Sokka. Away from Azula's prying eyes.

Sure, it's with the school, but like. Sokka and I's sleepovers at his house, whenever those can happen because of sports practices, which are usually just once a week, can never get too, yaknow, because Katara has made it a habit of popping in whenever she feels like it. Her efforts have doubled, too, for some reason.

Well, not even Katara's watchful eye can stop me from feeling elated. Did I mention it's three nights alone with Sokka? I don't even care that I can barely ski and have never gone on the yearly trip before. Sokka can teach me. It'll be... well. I have visions of holding hands in ski lifts, being roommates, sitting next to each other on the bus. There's also a tiny part of me that really wants to see Sokka like, in his natural environment. Sokka's the kind of person that fits in anywhere: at the beach, in the city, anywhere. But Sokka was raised in the ice and snow, and I wonder what his eyes reflect when there's nothing but white for miles, and the bright blue sky. I wonder what snow looks like against his skin. I wonder what he looks like when he comes in, all flushed from the cold.

Except, Sokka doesn't seem nearly as thrilled with this as I would've thought. It's been a couple days since I told him and he said he's come, and while I can barely go five minutes without talking about it, Sokka just nods and smiles faintly before subtly changing the subject. Honestly, it's a little disconcerting, and it looks like it has put me in a rather uncomfortable position, because other people have noticed. Namely, his shadow: Katara.

Right now, the entire gang is inside the Jasmine Dragon, which I recently introduced them to. It's right after school, and the last day this week Sokka doesn't have soccer practice. Toph sits, laughing and stretched out, with her feet in Haru's lap and her green milk boba tea hanging in her hand. Haru is smiling too- it's a rare occasion he can make these hangouts. His favorite flavor is honeydew, and yes, I pay attention. Suki, with her mango, is next to Sokka who is next to me, but talking to Aang (peach) across the table. Sokka has blueberry but he's hardly taken a sip, and Katara, who has passionfruit, is watching him carefully.

"-and so I said," Aang laughs, "Appa wouldn't hurt a fly, even as he had the kid's hand in his mouth!" Everyone laughs, and I laugh too, even though I barely heard the joke.

I take the opportunity to lean forward to Sokka.

"Hey, babe, you doing ok?" I whisper, and he doesn't even react to 'babe.' "Excited for Boiling Rock?" Somehow, that was the wrong thing to say, and he stands up abruptly, walking like a robot towards the bathroom. I'm tempted to get up and follow him, but I notice Katara watching me. Oh boy. I hope she didn't notice how close I got to Sokka, hope she didn't hear what I said, but based off her narrow, calculated eyes I can guess she probably saw something more than I would wish for.

A couple minutes more of everyone else joking and laughing, and me and Katara in a nervous staredown, Sokka comes barging past us, leaving the shop. Katara quickly gets up and follows him and again, the only thing that keeps me glued to my seat with my strawberry tea is the glare she shoots me that could kill me.

"Hey, is everything ok?" Aang asks me, his eyes flitting between me and Katara as she leaves the tea shop.

"Totally," I lie, and shoot him my best smile. He returns to entertaining Suki and Toph, with some story about his cat, Momo. Oh. That makes sense why he loves peaches so much.

A couple minutes later, Katara comes back in, looking a little less mad but a lot more suspicious. She sits down in her spot.

"Sokka went home sick," she says. "I offered to walk him home, but you know how he is."

"It's probably time we wrap this up anyway," Siuki says, and I get her gist. Without Sokka here, Suki probably feels a little awkward, even if she's pretty close with Toph and Katata.

I nod fervently and start to stand up, but Katara grabs my wrist, her pretty blue nails digging in just hard enough to make it uncomfortable.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" She asks, and I don't really feel like it's a question, so I just nod. Once everyone disperses and Katara brushes Aang off, I'm getting a little panicky.

"Soooooo... ...what do you need to talk to me about?" I say nervously, trying to laugh, but failing. She just stands there for a minute, fiddling with the remainder of her tea, and it strikes me she might actually be nervous around me. Which is sort of ironic.

"Let's talk somewhere else," she finally says, her voice cool, with no remnants of nervousness.

"Um, where-"

"The Crystal Emporium," she says matter-of-factly. I know exactly what she's talking about- it's a little bookstore just a block away from here. More importantly, I'm guessing, it's away from Iroh and Jin. Out of my territory.

"Ok," I relent reluctantly. This is going to be extremely unpleasant, I can already tell.

We leave the store, her walking briskly, and me shuffling behind her. She catches a couple looks, which swiftly end when they see me behind her, forcing the situation to be even more awkward than it already is. I don't blame them. Where Sokka is striking, she's stunning, with perfectly tan skin, electric blue eyes, and gorgeous black hair that tosses as she walks. And, not to brag, but I'm something of a fashion expert, and Katara can certainly hold her own. Right now, she's wearing a navy blue plaid dress over a tight white tt-s shirt, and blue high tops. I guess blue is the family color.

Finally, we arrive at the Crystal Emporium. Kind of a grand name for what it actually is: a tiny, old, used-to-be prison now filled with books and, of course, crystals. We walk in, and I'm stunned by how pretty the crystals actually are. For such a cramped building with a dark history, the green crystals, some bigger than me, are light and actually quite beautiful.

Katara leads me to a tiny table in the far back, right next to an assortment of tiny crystals, atlases, and a huge green geode right behind me. A little old lady peers over at us from behind a bookshelf, but it just takes a friendly smile from Katara to get her to turn away. When Kattara looks back at me, though, her smile is anything but friendly.

"So," she says, her fingers tapping against the table in a remarkably-Sokka way. I wonder if she has ADHD too. No, probably not.

"So," I repeat, looking anywhere but in her eyes. "Care to explain why I'm here?"

"I want to know what's really going on between you and Sokkka," she says firmly. My blood runs cold. Sokka specifically didn't want to tell her, but her gaze is so intense it practically tears the truth out of me. No. For Sokka. You've got to lie to Katara. I force myself to meet her eyes, and try to gulp as inconspicuous as possible.

" "Honestly," she adds, as I search for the words. I just have to act like Azula, the most manipulative liar I know. Azula's blood is practically mine, so this should be easy. What would Azula do?  
Anything but tell the truth.

"What do you think is happening?" I answer, as cool as possible. That sounds like my sister, answering a question with a question.

"I'm not sure," she admits. "Look, Zuko." Oh, no. She really is trying, isn't she? "I want to trust you. It's just... ...Rich, powerful people. Don't have morals."

"You don't think I have morals because my dad is rich," I guess flatly, and she winces a little bit.

"Not necessarily you, but like... ...whenever I picture your face, I picture your father. People like your father. People in charge start stupid wars make my dad leave. They don't care about people." Her logic is a little twisted, but I understand. Even if Katara hates me, Katara cares about helping people. If it was up to me, though, I wouldn't be related to my dad. I don't want the money, or the power, because it corrupts.

"My face," I repeat, and my fingers drift to my scar. Her face reddens.

"I didn't mean it like that." ," she mutters, and I wish I could tell her my dad did this. Make her understand I don't want what he has more than she does. I can't, though. That's my rule. Don't tell anyone.

"It's ok, " I whisper. This is not very Azula-like. She looks at me for a long, soft second, and then clears her throat.

"So, I would appreciate it if you told me what was going on between you and Sokka," she says, her voice back to the normal, crispness it is around me. "If I want to trust you two, I have to know what's going on."

"We're just friends," I say, as normally as I possibly can. "But Sokka means everything to me. He's the best friend I've ever had." She stares at me for a second, as if trying to determine if I am telling the truth, and it takes everything in me not to look away.

"Ok," she finally says. "That makes sense, I guess. I could've sworn, today, in the Jassmine-" she shakes her head, "ah, whatever. The mind plays tricks on you, right?" She laughs, and for a minute, everything is perfect. She doesn't hate me. I laugh back at her. Oh, Sokka will be so pleased.

"Ok, I hate to say this but I really have to get home-" I start. I have to help Iroh clean up shop.

. She nods but then stops me before I stand up.

"I have one more question, Zuko," she says quickly, her eyes warm. I nod. "Why do you always always hang at our house?" There's no away it's more comfortable than your- what, your penthouse?"  
"Yeah, well," I laugh, but it's quiet and humorless. "My dad can't know." Uh-oh. Wrong answer. Her eyes immediately turn cold. "I mean-"

"Your dad can't know you're friends with Sokka?" She says coldly, and I can only helplessly stutter. "I see how it is. Shame? You're embarrassed of him?"

"No, Katara, I-" I plead, but she's made up her mind, abruptly standing up and shoving the chair in.

"Sokka does not deserve a friend who is embarrassed ofhim," she snarls. I can only stare at her helplessly. "And to think I was actually beginning to trust you."

"I-" I try again, but she just shoves her hand in my face.

"Sokka is one of the most important things to me," she hisses, "and I refuse to let you hurt him like this. Can't you see what it's doing to him?" With that she turns around quickly and practically storms out of the Crystal Emporium, leaving a very disgruntled cashier that frowns at her as she slams the door. The cashier turns to me and I can only shrug helplessly. Sokka's weird behavior. isn't- it isn't because of me, right? I've tried bringing it up to him, but he doesn't want to talk about it. Oh, spirits.

He's not breaking up with me, is he?

I stumble out of the emporium, apologizing profusely for Katara to the other people in the shop, including the scowling cashier, a young couple too busy admiring a big crystal to even notice, and the old lady, who just goes, "ah, young love is troubling sometimes, my dear boy!" Well, that's great and all, but my 'young love' but she's not wrong. Sokka is troubling. She just got the wrong sibling.

My thoughts are a blur as I head back to the Jasmine Dragon, almost getting hit by a car on the crosswalk over, the sky pouring rain. I don't even realize it's dusk until I barge in. Thank spirits it's empty., or I would cause quite a scene, soaking, already forming a large puddle on the ground

"Hey, Zuko. Help me close up,?" Jin asks as she walks by, putting chairs up on the tables. I numbly nod, and start helping, turning the sign from OPEN, COME IN! To CLOSED, COME BACK LATER. I turn back to Jin, who notices my face for the first time, and comes over. I notice she's weairnring a different apron then uan usual- hers usually has all sorts of pins on the straps, including a mini Earth, a lesbian flag, a coffee mug, a bonfire, and a cat. This one just has a couple little boba tea pins and a tiny flame, which I recognize because she bought them for me. This is my apron.

"That's my apron," I say stupidly, pointing.

"Ok, you're not doing too hot, Zuko," she saids worriedly, setting down the cleaning supplies and gently dragging me into the backroom.

"Gotta," I try to pull away, but Jin's stronger than she looks, "help you close up."

"Don't worry about it," she raises an eyebrow at my soaked clothes and traumatized expression. "It's almost done anyway." I nod, and just on time, Uncle Iroh emerges, just untying his apron.

"I was beginning to wonder if you would ever show up," he chuckles, but then stops when he sees me soaked and just sighs. "Jin, if you wouldn't mind-"

"No problem, sir," she chirps, and dashes back to the lobby. Iroh comes over and leads me to our little table, right next to the mini fridge full of all of Jin's Cokes and other snacks. He starts to brew some tea, and goes into kindly-uncle-counselor mode.

"Would you like to tell me why you're soaking wet?"

"Raining," I mutter, but I pull a towel out from under a cabinet and start drying myself off. He comes over with two hot cups of jasmine and sits across from me.

"Would you like to tell me why you look like you just got stabbed?" He asks.

That answer's a little more complicated.

"Well," I start. "You know Katara?" He crinkles his eyebrows as he tries to remember, so I put it in terms Uncle would remember." "Passionfruit. Sokka's sister. Hair loops."

"Ah, yes," he chuckles, a big belly laugh that used to make me giggle when I was a toddler. "Spitfire, that girl is." Ironic, because from what I can tell she spends all her time in the water.

"Yeah, well she hates my guts," I groan, flopping my head in my arms. "She's always hated me, and she doesn't even know we're dating. Just like we don't want Azula to know, obviously, he doesn't want Katara to know. Yet.

"Which is odd, because they've always been so close. After their mother died and their father left, they looked after each other. Plus, Katara blames rich, powerful people for the war her father is fighting in. She hates my dad, and thus hates me. So we just wanted to give her some time to get used to me before we dropped the whole lover or boyfriend thing or whatever on her." I have to blush a little bit at that part, but Iroh just nods. "Today, I really thought we were undergoing a breakthrough, but then she got the idea I was 'ashamed o' of Sokka. Which is bullshit. You know that, right, Uncle? And he knows that. I'm not ashamed of him or anything." He nods again. "I just... ...my dad can't handle another disappointment from me." I mean, I am a disappointment, but.

"So Katara's behavior is weighing on you?" Uncle says, and I nod, but then shake my head.

"Well, not just that. Sokka's been acting really weird since I told him about Boiling Rock. He never wants to talk about it even though I'm ecstatic, and he just has been distant. And today, he left Jasmine Dragon early, and Katara said it was because he felt sick. She thinks it's because of me.." I can barely choke out the next words. "Is she right?"

"What do you mean?" His tone is serious as he sips his tea, and I've barely touched mine. I feel like if I do, I will just vomit everywhere.

"I mean-" I swallow, "does this weirdness mean he wants to b- break up with me? Is that what he's trying to do?"

"Zuko," he kindly says, "I've seen the way Sokka looks at you. I'm sure he just has something that's keeping his mind preoccupied"

"He's supposed to tell me stuff like that," I say sullenly, but let him continue talking.

"You're high school boys," he says gently. "You're not going to tell each other the things you should. I guarantee he not going to break up with you, at least not today. And that's all we can worry about, right?"

"Yeah, " I whisper, fighting the old habit to brush off what he's saying. "Yeah, you're right."

"Go get him, Zuko," he tells me.

Then, I whisper to myself as my breathing stills, "You've got it, Zuko. You know you've got him."

***


	15. Chapter 15

***

Zuko:

It's the Monday after the infamous Crystal Emporium night, and also after that weird cultural heritage fair or whatever, which I didn't attend. Obviously. The weather has been pretty cold for what it normally is here- We actually dipped to 50 degrees Fahrenheit yesterday. And, worst of all, I haven't seen Sokka all weekend, since he left the Jasmine Dragon, supposedly sick. And here I sit, outside the cafeteria as kids flood in, looking at me oddly, as I wait for Sokka. Azula passes me and raises an immaculate eyebrow but doesn't say anything else. Good.I don't need her cold, calculating, cruel comments to add to this

I've been thinking a lot about what Uncle said, and I know he's right. I just have to trust Sokka to either deal with whatever he's dealing with or let me help him. I just have to trust Sokka not- not to be breaking up with me. Speaking of, here he comes. That jean jacket is not fair, and I have to hope that he's not breaking up with me, because otherwise he'd just be rubbing it in. He seems to be in a much better mood- grinning as he says something to Suki I can't make out. They eventually get to the cafeteria entrance, where Suki slugs Sokka and then, winks, and marches into the cafeteria, leaving a slightly embarrassed Sokka in front of me.

"Uhm, hi," I say awkwardly, waving a little bit. Ok, that was lame.

"Hi," he laughs. He's in a much better mood. "You wanna sit down or what?"

"I accidentally, uh, I ac- no, I a- I actually need to talk need- ugh," I moan, faceplanting into my palm, but he laughs, and I take a deep breath. "I actually need to talk to you." He turns serious, and nods. We start walking down the hallway, around the courtyard, where hall minitonitor can't snitch.

"Look, I just wanted to say-" I start at the same time Sokka says, "Can I -" We both look at each other, and then laugh.

"You first," I say.

"No, you," he insists.

"Sokka," I warn, and he narrows his eyes, but relents.

"Ok, so, I just wanted to apologize," he starts, and I'm so taken aback I almost stop walking. We turn a corner, quickly dodging a lurking algebra teacher who will probably force us back to lunch.

"I know I've been acting really weird the past couple weeks..." He didn't show up for school on Friday, the day after he left the tea shop, but I' m told he did show up for soccer practice.  
I just had a lot on my mind. But it's figured out now." He sounds so final saying that.

"Oh my spirits," I say, the words coming out as more of a gasp than an actual statement, and he looks at me questioningly. "You're really doing it, aren't you? Iroh was wrong-"

"What? What are you talking about?" He looks so confused.

"You're- aren't you- breaking up?" I can barely choke out the words, and just watch as his eyes widen and he shakes his head feverishly.

"No nonononono," he quickly says, stopping walking to grab my hands "Zuko, what the hell? I swear, that is so not what I am trying to do. "

"What?" I say weakly. "Then why don't- why do you keep leavning when I'm trying to talk to you? "

at?

"Zuko," he says , almost begging. He leans forward and kisses me, with his signature Sokka passion that leaves me melting into him. "I can't even fathom not being with you, ok?"

"Then why-" I'm trying so hard to clear my head, because none of this makes sense. Who do I believe, Katara or Iroh? Myself or Sokka?

"Katara-"

"I know what Katara said," he sighs, leaning his head against the wall behind him. "And she was wrong. Thank you, by the way. For not telling her."

"Yeah, of of course," I say absentmindedly , my head still a disaster. So is Sokka breaking up with me or not? "So you're not- not avoiding be me because you want to break up with me?" His eyes widen even more, and I know it's dorky, but it feels like it's been centuries since I've been this close to him, and I've almost forgotten how blue his eyes are. Sure, I'm sixteen, but I know I want to see those eyes every day for the rest of my life.

"Spirits, Zuko," he breathes. "I've been avoiding you because, well. Can I just say I figured it out and we're good now?

"Umm, no," I say, and he smiles a little bit, pulling me into a nearby storage closet, and I have to raise an eyebrow when he locks the door. How come this is just unlocked- I mean, I'm not going to complain. Even though it smells like bleach, it's better than getting dumped.

"Boiling Rock was sort of ridiculously expensive," he says, and my jaw drops. How did I just not think of that? "So I didn't have a way to pay for it. But I figured something out. Let's just say Toph has some interesting schemes."

"Spirits, Sokka," I grumble. "I feel awful, how didn't I think of this?" All I can hear is Katara's voice going privileged privileged privileged over and over again in my ear. Sokka, however, just wraps me even closer.

"No, Zuko," he whispers. "I refused to let you handle it, because I could handle it. And I did, ok? I'm just. I really wanted to go to Boiling Rock. I promise. And now I can. "  
"Sokka,"I mutter. "I'm so sorry." I should've noticed. Sokka's always contradictory- acting like he wants to break up with me when really he's just trying to find a way to be closer to me, while always trying to be as independent as he always wants to be.

"Don't apologize," he whispers, propping the back of my head with his forearm. "Ok? I got it."

"So you can go to Boiling Rock?" I ask, and a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah, jerkbender. I can go," he says. (Long story.) I start to say, "Good," but his lips are already on mine. I kiss him back, hard, and pushing him back a little bit, and he trips over something that clatters to the ground. Ah. A metal bucket.

"Shit-" He laughs, holding onto my arm as he tries to steady himself, his other arm flailing. I can't help myself and I laugh a little bit, but then we hear footsteps that go down the hallway a little bit. Whoever it is, with fancy shoes, passes us, but then comes back and stands outside the door, the shadow visible under the crack. When they start to fiddle with the lock, I meet Sokka's eyes, wide with panic. He mouths something I can't make out, and starts looking around, panicked, before he sees it. No way. He can't actually-

He drags me, quickly and quietly, around a couple of empty garbage cans, past the janitor's miniature office, and to some metal stairs leading up to the roof.

I shake my head, but he nods, and I hear whoever it is start to unlock the door,. I don't have a choice, so I let Sokka lead me, scrambling, up the stairs. , which seem like 50 years old, around a massive pile of paper towel after we duck under the chain blocking them off. The doors, on the ceiling, like trapdoors, are big and locked with a rusty chain and a padlock. I look at Sokka, panicking, but his eyes are narrowed with concentration as he unslings his lunchbox from around his shoulder, rifling through it quickly. I can barely make out the distinguishable click as the door unlock.

"Hurry!" I hiss, and he doesn't even bat an eyelid, just pulls out a thermos. Usually it's full of food from the South Pole that his grandma makes, but today, he uses tiit to slam against the lock. It jangles but doesn't budge. I hear the door open, and my heart is in my throat as he slams it again, this time busting the padlock. We climb up through the doors hurriedly, shutting them as quietly as possible, and then lean against them, panting, and trying to hear what whoever is down there is saying. If they decide to check up here we're screwed. I press my ears to the crack in the door, hearing them walk around before stopping.

Then, on a walkie-talkie no doubt, I hear, "nobody in here. Check the grounds, they might have left through the emergency exit, but the door was locked" Then, silence, before the unmistakable sound of a door closing. I let out a huge sigh of relief, before Sokka starts laughing maniacally.

"That was crazy!" He gasps, knocking his shoulder into mine. "I can't believe we actually pulled that off."

"We could be in so much trouble," I laugh. "Oh my spirits, Sokka, what if we get caught?"

"How are they going to find us?" He points out, and gestures around. True. Those stairs went straight up to the top of the school, and I think we're above the cafeteria. "They'll be checking the security cameras around the grounds. Not the roof."

"Wer're gonna miss biology," I say, and his eyes widen a fraction.

"I mean, it's probably fine. We'll just fake sick. We've never skipped a day," He says, and I force myself to nod. This doesn't feel right, skipping class, but given the option between going to class or hanging out with Sokka for an entire period...

"You sure you're ok with that?" I double check, even though I'm the one who actually likes biology. Not surprisingly, he nods.

"Yeah," Sokka says. "I like science and math and whatnot, but biology... ...it's more Aang's thing." I nod. Aang's obsessed with animals. His cat, Momo, which to be honest I'm not sure if is a cat or a ferret, is always on his shoulder when we visit, and Appa, of course, is everyone in the gang's favorite creature in the world. He's so big, I'm pretty sure Toph could ride him if she wasn't always such a brat about being on the ground where she could feel around better.

"C'mon," I say, dragging," he says, dragging me up, my feet skidding on the pebble-like roof, and we tiptoe across the roof to the edge of the English wing. He sits down, and pats next to him. I linger back anyway.

"Can't we sit back here?" I ask, trying to keep the tone of pleading out of my voice, but it's too late. Sokka looks confused, and then his jaw drops as a malicious look spreads across his face.

"Is someone afraid of heights?" He teases, and I shake my head fervently.

"That's ridiculous," I bluff. Me, scared of heights, As if.

"Come here," he beckons, his voice soft. I hesitate, but then swallow my nerves and slowly make my way to the edge, stiffly sitting next to him. I peer over at the edge, and even though it's just a couple stories, my stomach lurches and my vision gets shaky, and I reel back from the edge. Sokka's hands are quickly on my arms, stabilizing me.

"You are scared," he gloats, but his eyes are kind. I try to make a face at him, but I'm just clinging to him for dear life anyway. The wind whips his hair around, still stubbornly tied in the little ponytail.

I wish I could say there's some deep, dark backstory to my fear of heights. Unfortunately... there's not. Azula's never been scared of anything, but I just don't like heights. If you fall, there's literally nothing you can do. You can't fight it. I was never scared of the dark, because my house has always been filled with fire, candles from my mother, a different fire from my father. I was never scared of drowning- just fight harder, swim harder, was my logic. I was never scared of animals, because those you can fight or control or at the very least, kick and run away from. But heights? They just make me sick. I'd rather travel by boat any day. That's probably why the first day I saw Sokka, in the airport, I was so out of it, accidentally taking the necklace and whatnot, because I had drugged myself past oblivion to not let the other kids see how scared I was. Even now, peering over the edge, I feel like I'm going to throw up, and like my knees are made of jelly.

Suddenly, Sokka lurches forward, and then grabs my shoulders and pulls me back, laughing.

"Ha, sike," he cackles, but I can barely hear him over the pounding in my ears as I grab his shoulders so tight my fingers dig in through his shirt.

"Don't- do- that- you- bastard," I choke out, my entire body shaking as I grasp him, feeling like the roof is going to slide out from under my butt any second. He looks at me with concern and guilt in his eyes, and then does his best to scootch back from the edge with my entire body stiff.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey," he soothes, pulling me into his arms. "I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry." I bury my face into his shoulder, trying to calm the shuddering. The wind picks up a little bit and I clutch him even harder. Realistically, it would just take one well-aimed gust of wind to swoop me off the roof and splat. Zuko pancake on the pavement.

"Don't let go," I mumble into his shirt, and I'm not sure if he can hear me or not. It's my job, it feels like. To protect Sokka, even though most of the time I fail and then it's just me protecting him from myself. That's why it's such a failure to me, when I said those awful words to Ty Lee or when I didn't even consider the struggles he would have with Boiling Rock. I do my best, to shelter him from my hellish home life, to pay for things when he lets me, to giving him test answers so he doesn't fail. I'm not saying I haven't been vulnerable since my mother left. I'm saying every time I do, I get burned. Figuratively or literally. And I'm breaking down my vision of Sokka as something fragile that needs to be protected. And I'm letting myself be vulnerable. It's a work in progress.

Well. It goes a lot better where nobody but Sokka can see me and I'm also scared out of my mind.

"Hey, hey, you're good," he says, and I wanna turn into a little animal like Momo and climb into his hoodie. My breathing eventually starts to slow down as he holds me tight with one arm and gently runs his fingers through my hair with another. Once the panic subsides, I realize exactly how we're sitting- my legs are in his lap as I cling to the side of him, his upper half turned so he's holding me parallel. A little embarrassed at the whole ordeal, I quickly and gently push him away from the edge of the roof, falling with him so we're lying facing each other, side by side. It was supposed to be a lot more smooth than it actually was- it was just a slow descent backward as the gravel-like surface came to meet us.

"We don't talk about," I say quickly, and he smiles, one of his arms still around me.

"Zuko's afraid of heights, huh?" He jokingly teases. I groan and bury my face in my hands, but he wiggles closer and take my hands off my face gently. His eyes are completely serious as he leans over and kisses me, and I kiss him back.

In between gentle but hungry kisses, he asks, "are you sure you're ok?"

"Positive," I answer, and then roll on top of him, careful to hang on to his sleeves for fear of rolling away, but focusing, as always, on Sokka.

(if you're an artist specifically digital and you wanna collab to make a cover, either message me or comment. i don't want to just take a random artist's one, but...) thank you all so much!!!!!!!!!

(no, seriously. if you're an artist, hmu. i'll like, dedicate a chapter to you or put you in as a character if you want lol.)


	16. Chapter 16

***

Sokka:

It's been like, two weeks since the roof incident, in case you're curious. Also in case you're curious- no, it was not easy getting down from the roof, into the crowded hallway, and to our next period class. But alas.

It is also exactly 2 days before Christmas. School's been out for a couple of days, and I've barely seen Zuko, spending almost every waking moment texting him. Not to be obsessive about it, but...

Christmas with my family is not like you would expect. First of all, we don't celebrate Christmas in the way most people celebrate it. For us, it's about family and giving, not religion. And presents. Obviously.

But, this year is special. It's important. It's my first year with Zuko. His dad makes him spend Christmas morning with him and his sister, spirits know why, and Gran-Gran, Katara and I always spend Christmas Eve together. So we arranged to spend some time Christmas day together, around 2 o'clock. And, I like a clown, decided to wait until very last minute to get something for him.

Suki is with me, Christmas shopping. Katara usually comes, but she's out with Aang, because his religion had a holiday today. I would say it's his equivalent off Christmas, but after hearing about it... it's really, not.

"So what does your boyfriend like?" Suki asks as we walk in the mall. It's totally crowded, with husbands and wives searching for last-minute presents, families hurrying to find toys for children, and just the general holiday hustle and bustle.

"Um," I say, my mind going blank. What exactly does Zuko like? Basketball. Tea. His uncle. Me. His mom. Fashion. "I don't know." She groans.

"C'mon, Sokka. We got stuff for literally everybody else." She does have a point. We've been here all day, even the nonchalant shopper Suki has found stuff for everyone. And we have a meeting with the gang after this- Friendmas! That is when I see it. It's so... Zuko.

"What is this????" I exclaim as I drag Suki into the store, which looks like it sells stuff like mens sunglasses, watches, and purses, my eyes wide as we stop at the window display.

"Well, it looks like a bunch of rings," Suki says, sounding bored out of her mind.

"Exactly right, miss!" A perky shop employee seemingly materializes out of nowhere, short and geeky with a well-tailored uniform and a name tag that reads Jones and Assistant Manager. "These are of our newest Flame Collection. Before you ask, no, they are not real gold, but we assure you they are of the same quality."

"Ah," Suki says, me nodding enthusiastically next to her. "Well, they're very... shiny." The employee beams, and then wanders away. Suki's not one for jewelry, and I can already see her gaze slipping to the makeup store across from us, but I yank her back to reality with an elbow.

"Eyeliner later," I say stubbornly, "help Sokka now?" She sighs but nods.

"So, which one of these looks like Zuko?" She says, leaning over the glass display. I join her, my face inches from the glass. One is a thin golden band with a flame insignia. Nah, that looks like a girl's ring. There's another with several large red gems. Ew. Finally, I see it. It's a band, but wide, maybe half an inch wide, with a tiny flame carved on it.

"That one, Suki," I breath, and jab my finger at it. She leans closer and examines the price tag.

"Wow, that's only about $100 out of your price range! Are we done here?" She sounds annoyed, so I elbow her again, and give her a meaningful look. "What?" I flick my head backwards a little bit. "Oh, no."

"Please?" I give her my best puppy eyes, and she sighs.

"Fine. Hold my jacket." I grin as she slips off her jacket, revealing a tank top, and pulls up her skirt a tiny bit. She gives me do I really have to look and I give her a thumbs up in exchange. Suki sighs, tosses her hair, gives me a smile, and then waltzes over to where poor, unsuspecting Jones is fiddling with a display. I just lean back and observe.

"Heya, Jones, isn't it?" I hear her say. He turns around and sees her, his face turning a comical shade of red.

"Uhm, yes, miss, how can I- help you today?" He stammers. I have to laugh, trying to muffle it in Suki's jacket that I'm holding. A nearby middle-aged couple shoots me a look.

"Well, I was looking at the ring collection over there, and they're awfully expensive aren't they?" Wow, she's really going for it. Suki's the best.

"I mean, yes, miss." I almost feel sorry for the guy as she runs her fingers through her hair and no doubt shoots him a dazzling smile

"I mean, they're lovely," she says, giggling like a cheerleader. "You see, Jones, I'm really in a dilemma." His beady eyes widen as he leans forward towards her.

"A- a dilemma?" He squeaks.

"You see that guy over there?" She points towards me, and I quickly act oblivious, staring at the ceiling, watching them out of the corner of my eyes. Jones nods quickly, and Suki gets an absolutely malicious look on her face. "That's my boyfriend, Jones-y." Jones-y. Pathetic, but he eats it right up.

"He looks very nice," Jones stammers, but Suki rolls her eyes.

"Not really my type, I've found out. I'm more into the... smart, leader type. I'm sure you know what I mean." Jones turns even more red, and I have to swallow a cackle again. "Well, Jones, that boyfriend of mine cheated on me." Jones gasps, and I gasp too, giving Suki a you-didn't look. She just glares and turns back to the stunned Jones. "He doesn't think I know. So my plan is, get him one of those fancy rings over there- that one in the middle, next to the gem one- and almost give it to him, then snatch it away at the last minute, revealing I know about the torrid affair!"

"Torrid affair!" He repeats, and I snort in disbelief. There's no way he's actually buying it- oh, yup. He's eating it right out of her hand.

"There's no truer revenge then fashion," Suki says, and he nods sympathetically. "What do you think? You think it's a good plan?"

"Brilliant, young lady! Absolutely brilliant!" Suki laughs, a pretty sound that turns him even redder. A nearby employee approaches me, looking hesitatingly at the whole scenario, but I brush them off. This is quality entertainment.

"But I don't think I can pull it off," Suki sighs, shooting a dramatic look upwards. Jones' eyes widen. "They're just... too expensive. Gosh, I wish there was someone who could help me, but ever since he cheated, I just... feel so alone. That's why I came here, but there's no manager to help." Jones shoots me a withering look, then sympathetically pats her on the shoulder. She barely flinches. Good for her.

"I can help, miss!" He says triumphantly, and Suki straight up claps a little bit.

"How? How?" She sounds so eager, leaning forward even closer.

"They don't call me assistant manager for nothing." Then he laughs a little bit, to himself. "Just a little retail humor for you there. I'll be with you in one second." With that he quickly marches away, Suki shooting me a grin and a glare wrapped in one. Within moments, Jones has come back holding a tiny plastic card. He tells her that it's so she can become a member and get 50% off any regularly priced item.

"Normally, it's 25%," he adds, "but for you... 50!"

"You're so generous," Suki says politely and takes the card from him, leading him over to the glass display where I stand. As Jones unlocks it, he shoots me a glare, and I just smile. Suki then takes the ring from his stubby, sweaty fingers, and leads me to the cash register, Jones practically foaming at the mouth in anger every time I smile at him innocently.

"That'll be... seventy five dollars," he says, putting the ring in a tiny box. Suki and I exchange a glance.

"That's um-"

"That's as low as I can go," Jones chirps. "Sometimes people try to get me to go lower, but that's manipulative, and you wouldn't do that, right miss?" Suki looks uncomfortable.

"I mean-" I stop her and hand over seventy five dollars in cash.

"That's no problem, sir," I say, ignoring the confused yet angry Jones.

"I thought-"

"Thank you so much!" Suki croons as she snatches the recepit from his hand along with the ring, and we practically waltz out of the store, cackling.

Poor Jones.

***

Zuko:

(To the tune of Deck the Halls:)

Sok-ka Sokka Sokka Sokka, SokkaSokkaSokkkk--Ka-Sokka, Sok.

Oh, right, and my friends. Who I'm currently going to visit right now.

It almost killed me not to bring Sokka's present tonight. I'm actually pretty proud of myself for putting the whole thing together. But, alas, this is FRIENDmas I'm heading to right now. At the Jasmine Dragon. Of course. Sokka and I have our special Christmas on Christmas day. Iroh and I spend Christmas Eve together. He misses his son, and I wish I could spend Christmas day with him, but alas.

I've never known Christmas anywhere but in Azulon. There's no snow here, but the people dress the lamposts in evergreens, play Christmas music, and it does get a bit colder. Uncle barely decorate the Jasmine Dragon, because he doesn't want to offend his customers who don't celebrate Christmas, but you s

should see his apartment.

"Zuko!" I walk into the Jasmine Dragon, my eyes immediately drawn to our usual table in the corner where everyone sits. Just Suki, Sokka, Toph, Aang, Katara and I. Haru celebrates Hannukah, and Yue has her own family traditions. She's been gone all week to visit her family, far north.

"Hey, guys," I say, sliding in next to Sokka who squeezes my hand under the table. "How's it going?" Suki passes me a cup of hot chocolate. Jin has to make it, because Iroh hates to make anything besides tea in his tea shop. Everyone looks so nice- I feel a little bad in my usual black pants and red hoodie. Katara is in a pastel blue dress and white jacket, while Aang sits next to her in a big orange and yellow jacket with all sorts of badges all over it. Suki is wearing paperbag dark green pants, and a black top with a red and yellow stripe on it, her hair curled slightly. Toph is wearing the nicest outfit that she ever lets us see her in- a tight green short sleeve shirt under beige short overalls. I think she's wearing Suki's jacket. And Sokka looks as nice as ever, in a denim jacket and short sleeve blue button-up.

"No time for small talk!" Aang says excitedly. He doesn't exactly celebrate Christmas, but he's here nontheless. "Only presents!"

"I agree, twinkle toes," Toph says idly from the corner. "My mother wanted me to gift y'all golden sweaters or something."

"No thanks," Sokka says politely, and I laugh. Katara and Aang don't have presents for each other- I imagine they're doing a similiar thing that Sokka and I are. Everyone in the gang besides Katara knows we're a thing, so we just told her we're too much besties to do it in front of people. She bought it, somehow.

"Ok, who wants to go first?" Katara says, ever the leader, and Aang shoots his hand up so fast I'm surprised he didn't dislocate it.

"Giving presents is so much fun!" He squeals, and everyone has to laugh.

"And receiving them doesn't hurt," Toph mumbles, but she's smiling too as Aang practically chucks tiny parcels at all of us.

"Aang!" Sokka complains as his lightly bounces off his head.

"Did I hurt you, Sokka?" Aang looks so concerned I have to step in.

"Nah," I say. "Sokka's just being a crybaby."

"Am not!" He whines, bumping against me.

"Hurry up and open them!!!" Aang howls, and everyone laughs. I untie the little parcel to see a necklace with a little sun pendant.

"Aw, Aang, thank you!" Suki says, and I look down the table to see she also has a necklace with golden fan charms. It looks like everyone has necklaces, or jewelry of some sort- Sokka has what looks like a bone choker, which he puts on, and I'm stunned at how much it matches his style. Toph has a bracelet that looks a little too big for her, so she slips it up her arm.

"That's made of a meteorite," Aang tells her matter-of-factly.

"Well, I'm sure it looks amazing," Toph says, and nobody but her laughs.

"Thanks, Aang," I mouth over the table, and he beams back at me.

"Maybe you could go into the jewelry-making business instead of- whatever you're planning on doing," Sokka says dryly.

"I don't know why I can't do both," Aang responds, and Katara laughs. I notice she's wearing a necklace with a flower underneath her mother's necklace.

"My turn," Suki announces, and hands us each one of her grandmother's homemade fans. Mine is golden. "I wasn't planning on getting these, but my grandmother insisted. She can be quite scary."

"If she's your grandmother, I believe it," I mutter, but she notices and grins at me. Sokka opens his with a snap- it's white, with a blue reflective sheen you can only notice when the light hits it right. He tosses it around experimentally, and I raise my hand instinctively, but he looks like he knows how to yield it.

"How do-"

"Suki taught me more than soccer," he cackles, and I'm not sure how to feel about that.

After that, Katara gives us our presents, which are just books, except for Toph, who gets an audiobook. Hopefully about anger management issues. I'm surprised she got me anything, but it's some basketball memoir. I thank her quietly for it and she nods, not meeting my eyes. Sokka got some sort of robotics book and he just about had a seizure.

"Didn't know you liked reading," I note, and he turns to me with wide eyes.

"When it's about robotics," he says, "I can handle it."

Next, it's Toph's turn.

Toph's are interesting. Suki and Katara, who she calls 'sugarqueen', get makeup. Toph says they're from "well-meaning aunts who don't understand the whole blind thing." Suki and Katara trade eyeliner for some sort of red facepaint that Katara apparently wants to try. Sokka gets a carnival plushie.

"It's a... hawk?" He says, curious. 'Hawk' is overselling things. I'm pretty sure hawks aren't fake velvet and neon.

"Don't ask me," Toph shrugs, as she hands me a half-eaten candy bar and Aang a worn book called "Wrestling for Dummies." Aang looks delighted. Me, less so.

Sokka hands out little bundles of nuts to everyone, except me, of course.

"Yum... nuts?" Suki says confused, but Sokka looks proud.

"Everyone likes nuts. Plus, look more carefully. There's little bits of dried meat in there, too!"

"The only food item Sokka seems to know how to find is nuts and meat," I overhear Katara whispering to Aang, who laughs. Finally, it's my turn. Out of my bag, I pull mugs, in which are several Uncle's tea brews. Everyone gets their favorite flavor- Aang peach, etc. etc.

"I also have a tea joke," I announce, and everyone sets down their mugs to look at me expectantly. All of a sudden, the tea joke has disappeared from my memory. "Ah... well... it's my uncle's joke... I can't remember most of it but the punchline is, 'leaf me alone!'" Crickets. Nobody says anything. Even Aang just cracks a tiny smile.

"I'm sure it's better when your uncle says it," Katara says, and I shoot her a grateful look, but she's looking at Aang again.

"Leave the jokes to someone else," Toph says at the end of the table, and Suki shushes her.

Well. She's probably right.


	17. Chapter 17

***

Sokka:

It's Christmas Day, and I'm homesick.

I'm walking towards the Jasmine Dragon, and I know I shouldn't be homesick, but I am.

Katara is back at the house still with Gran-Gran. This morning was great with the two of them, all the Southern Water Tribe traditions and little presents. But it's not the same, not without Mom and Dad. At least I have Katara. That thought is what makes me feel guilty as I walk towards Zuko, but I can't help it. Zuko's one of the reasons I can stand being here. Sure, school is great, and I'm learning a lot, and I have Toph, Suki, and Aang now, but I don't know what I would do without Zuko.

Well.

Putting that aside, I'm excited to see him. I had to dress nice, according to Gran-Gran- I think even she's put it together faster than Katara has, so I adjust the tie around my neck nervously with one hand, clutching the tiny box. Oh my spirits, maybe the ring was too much. It does give off engagement vibes- ah, well, it's too late now. The Jasmine Dragon is in sight, and my feet walk me there rather I like it or not.

***

Zuko:

I quickly usher Uncle into the backroom.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay out and supervise, nephew?" He teases, and I just groan, pushing him harder.

"Just, stay back there, please?" I say, and he smiles, nodding.

There's no way he's going to.

"Of course, nephew."

"Great, thank you, bye!" I say quickly, dashing back into the lobby, yanked back by my uncle.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I turn around, and see Uncle holding a wrapped box. He had to wrap it- Sokka's the only person I've bought a present for in years, besides Iroh, of course.

Well.

Azula.

But Iroh doesn't wrap her presents.

This morning was as awful as every Christmas has been since my mother- died. It's cold, and the penthouse is empty. Azula makes snide, unsubtle remarks at how much better it is without our mother here. My dad makes tiny speeches like, how "lucky" we are, looking at us pointedly for different reasons. How Christmas is a time to "reminisce" on past mistakes. Looking at me. How Azula and I sit, so different, but both of us searching for some sign in our father that he loves us. I'm not sure if she's found one yet. Azula and I exchange presents, which is mandatory by our father. He watches carefully, obsessed with the idea that we must have a great Christmas morning. That we must behave civilized. I got her a black jacket with red undertones. My father is suspicious- if he knew I liked fashion half as much as I did... Azula got me a basketball, signed by some national athlete. It seems sweet. It's actually practically a threat. It's not that I don't like basketball- I do. It's just her unsubtle reminder that my family has high expectations of me. Not just in basketball.

After our great family time, he leaves, probably to go do "business." Ruining someone's life, somewhere, most likely.She's always so angry after he leaves. She's only fourteen, almost fifteen, so I understand why she still expects something from him. Some scrap of affection. She'll never recieve it.

I grab it gratefully from Iroh, and then leave, quickly. I set it down on the table I set up, with a miniature Christmas tree right next to it, and I only have a moment to wait before Sokka comes trampling in.

"Zuko!" He says, his face, slightly flushed from the colder air, spread in a wide grin.

***

Sokka:

"Sokka!" He says, his entire face lighting up. He looks nice- I love that jacket.

Zuko bounces up and into my arms, giving me a tight hug.

"Brr," I say, pulling apart just a little. "Chilly out there." I should've brought a light jacket. I guess I've grown soft from the South Pole. Good thing Zuko always practically radiates warmth, and his eyes are just as warm.

"Aww, poor thing," he mocks, kissing me. Damn. I melt into his lips.

"Merry Christmas, by the way," I say against his mouth, and he smiles, leading me to the table where a little Christmas tree sits, and, of course, two cups of hot tea.

"Soooooooooo... ok, I know we agreed on a budget," he starts hesitantly, fiddling with a neatly wrapped box on the table. I sigh a huge sigh of relief.

"Thank spirits," I say, laughing, pulling out the tiny box. "Ok, exchange." He slides the box across, which is maybe a foot wide and tall. The wrapping is suspicious- no way Zuko could've pulled it off. I tear into it anyway, paper shreds flying everywhere, and I see him untying the box. I see what he got me and-

"Zuko," I say flatly. He's kidding, right? His innocent eyes that shoot up tell me otherwise.

"I told you I went over budget."

"This," I exclaim, holding up the expensive camera box, "is so much over!"

"It's just a little one," he says, still confused, his eyes wide. "Like, a starter's professional one."

"Zuko," I grumble, but I open the box anyway, marveling at the feeling of the sleek camera body in my hand. He was right- it wasn't huge. I could hold it comfortably in one hand. As I pop the batteries in, I look up to see him opening the box, holding the tiny golden ring in trembling fingers. Swallowing my nerves, I set down the camera and lean over the table, slipping it on his right ring finger. Not left. Obviously.

"Sokka I- I don't know what to say-" The raw emotion in his voice makes me turn furiously red.

"It's a Southern Water Tribe thing," I explain quickly. "Giving jewelry as gifts. You know like betrothal necklaces, promise rings. Etc. Not that this is a betrothal or- you know, whatever," I finish lamely. He looks up at me, tears welling up just a tiny bit in his eyes. "Oh, Zuko." I cross the table with my chair in tow and sit across from him, pulling him into my arms as he tries to stubbornly dry his tears with his sleeves. Eventually he gives up and just buries his face in my shoulder. I don't have to ask what's wrong.

Christmas is a bitter time for people who have lost family. I would know. But I'm lucky to have Katara, and Gran-Gran. Zuko doesn't have anyone, really. Besides Iroh, who he doesn't even live with.

Well. Screw that. Now he has me.

***

Zuko:

Sokka's arms are warm and firm, and I stop crying for a minute until I see the ring on my finger, and then I smile and cry again.

"Hey, Merry Christmas, stupid," he says, his arms tight around me.

"You too, dummy," I laugh.

It was a good Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you're thinking so far! No, seriously, comment, please. Comments are literally the only thing making me finish this story, and they make me incredibly happy. So thanks for reading, can't wait for next chapter! :)


	18. Chapter 18

***

Sokka:

"Wake up, dummy," I hear someone say, and peel open my eyelids to see Katara standing in the doorway, already dressed for school, hands on her hips.

"Blergh," I grumble, sitting up in the covers.

"Your alarm didn't go off," she says gleefully, and I widen my eyes, my heart stopping.

"It's- what, no! It's Boiling Rock day!" I start scrambling around the room. I didn't feel like packing, so I planned on packing this morning, but I have like five minutes before I have to be on the school bus to get to the high school to get on the other bus that takes me to Boiling Rock.

"That's ok, I packed for you," Katara says, holding up one of my duffel bags, a small suitcase, and my backpack. "But only if you agree to cover for me next week when I'm sleeping over at Aang's house. Make something up for Gran-Gran."

"Katara," I whine. I was planning on going out with Zuko, but I don't really look like I have a choice. "Gran-Gran would kill you-"

"Which is why you're covering for me," she says cheerfully. I huff, but then I nod and snatch the stuff out of her hands.

"Manipulative little-"

"Have fun at Boiling Rock!" She croons as I dash upstairs. Shoot, I forgot to get dressed. Ah, sweatpants and my jersey are fine. Knowing Katara and what she likely packed, I snatch some junk food from the kitchen.

"Gotta go, Gran-Gran," I say as I skip around here, grabbing my earbuds, phone, and charger.

"Have fun, Sokka!" She says, smiling all crinkle-like as she holds her tea. I skid to a stop, kiss her on both cheeks, and then dash out the door, following a cackling Katara as we get on the school bus.

***

Zuko:

"Looking forward to the trip, brother?" Azula says as she walks into my room. I grit my teeth. Damn it. I really should've shut the door.

"Are you?" I've gotten pretty good at answering her questions with questions, but it usually just results in pissing her off. She narrows her eyes as I slam my suitcase shut and brush past her, into the hallway. Right before I pass her, she snatches my wrist, causing me to stop, twist, and glare at her. She digs her long, acrylic nails deep into my wrist as she inspects my hand with her slitted eyes.

"Pretty ring, brother." Her voice is cold. "A special someone give it to you?"

"Oh, Azula," I rip my wrist out of her grasp and give her my most condescending smile. She can't intimidate me today, because I'm on the high that is the excitement of being with Sokka. "I know you wouldn't understand because nobody's dated you-"

"How dare-" She gasps, interrupting me. That's a touchy subject for Azula, because it doesn't matter how perfect she makes herself. She can't make boys like her.

"-but this doesn't prove anything." I flip her off- wrong finger, but I think she's too worked up to notice- and stalk away. Now I've royally pissed her off, and as I walk down the hallway, I can practically feel the vengeful thoughts radiating off her. I do catch a glimpse of her before I leave, though. She looks pretty messed up, and I almost go back and apologize, but I see her eyes. They're full of vengeance, and fire. So I leave.

***

Sokka:

"Remember!" Iroh yells from the front of the line of tired soccer and basketball players. I'm not sure why he crawls out of retirement for this specific annual trip, but here he is, in a rather horrendous tracksuit. "On all three busses, boys and girls are strictly prohibited from sitting next to each other. No funny business."

"Let's get on the bus without Iroh," Zuko whispers as soon as roll call is over and kids are loading up.

"Why not?" I ask quizzically. "Don't you like him?"

"Yeah, yeah, but he wouldn't let us sit together." I stare at him blanky. "'Funny business?'" He makes air quotes and I nod.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh. And let's avoid Azula, too." We slip onto the far bus, finding a spot near the middle, conveniently away from all nearby chaperones. The seats are high, providing a good amount of privacy.

Once everyone gets on, the bus driver stands up and gives some speech about trash. The chaperones do a quick head count, and have to split up the seat behind us where a dating couple thought they could get away with it by putting a girl in a hoodie and having the guy stare at the window. Zuko and I give the chaperones winning smiles, and they don't even have the first idea. The bus starts, and we're off.

"So, this is a five hour trip, and I've planned it all out specifically so," I start immediately, pulling out my phone and opening the planner app. "We can talk for seventeen minutes, and then the movie will start on those little screens and I already figured out we're watching Mulan so-"

"Sokka," he interrupts, and I glance up. "Why don't we just play it by ear, ok?"

"Ok, I say reluctantly, and put my phone away, forcing myself to take deep breaths as my fingers tap against the chair.

"Sorry," he laughs, and takes my hand, sliding it in between the chairs with his so anybody watching can't see. There, he holds my fingers tightly, absentmindedly brushing over the tips with his fingers. "Do you want to play truth or dare?"

"No," I say, "I want to stick to the schedule."

"No schedule."

"Then fine. Truth or dare." I haven't played this game since middle school, and I feel a little embarrassed to be doing it now.

"Truth," he says, raising an eyebrow, and I feel a little more relaxed as we settle into our familiar routine of just the two of us.

***

Zuko:

A couple hours later, the bus stops at a rest area, and everyone gets off, still pretty sleepy. Seeing Sokka next to me, I'm overwhelmed with the urge to be alone with him, so once everyone gets off, I tug him down low, silencing his protests with a hand over his mouth. I peer through the crack in the seats in front of us, watching the glassy-eyed chaperone quickly scan over the bus, seeing nobody's heads, and get off, accompanied by the bus driver. Thank spirits. The moment the doors shut with a hisssssssss I tug Sokka up and practically tackle him against the window. Good thing they're tinted.

"Zuko-" he protests, but I just kiss him, and he melts into my touch, moaning a little bit. I drag him out of his seat, and into the bus bathroom, where we can properly stand up. It smells disgusting, and it's so cramped, we're pressed together tightly. I kiss him again, taking in the uniquely salty taste of Sokka. He pushes back, and we're in a fierce but brief battle, until we hear a sound that makes our blood run cold. The door opens back up. Quickly, he shoves a finger over his mouth in a shh way, and I hear a pair of boys laughing as they get back on, sitting right in front of us. Shit.

Then, of course, I get a wicked idea, grinning evilly. Pushing him onto the covered toilet, I climb onto his lap, my legs uncomfortably wrapped around him.

I lean over and whisper in his ear, "better not get too loud." He looks up at me, eyes panicked, but I just smile, and prop my elbows up on his shoulders, running my hands through his hair. Wriggling myself down on him, he stifles a groan by burying his face in my chest, arms wrapping around my lower back to hold me closer. Just as his lips brush my collarbone, I hear someone thumping on the door. He shoves me off.

"One minute!" I say, wincing at my strangled voice. Sokka stands up, and I grin at his flushed face and messed up hair. He flips me off, kisses me, and then opens the door, and I stroll out broadly. Thank spirits it's just the two boys still here. I see Sokka out of the corner of my eye turn around and do the I-got-my-eye-on-you gesture as we slide back into our seats.

***

Sokka:

We arrive at Boiling Rock after several more hours of Zuko basically being a clown. Let me just say- I missed the snow.

When we get off our bus, everyone starts complaining immediately, but I just turn my face up to the eye and smile. It feels like the South Pole, the tiny freezing flakes brushing on my face. I turn and notice Zuko watching me with a tiny smile on his lips, and I just laugh and shove him.

"Ok, everyone, you can explore now. Remember to be back at the lodge," Iroh points to the massive wooden lodge wedged into one of the mountains nearby, "by 7. Dinner is at 8, and the clerks at the counter will tell you your room number where your luggage will be." I grab Zuko's collar, and drag him through the crowd, excited to head towards the miniature town he told me all about. Before we can actually leave the horde of basketball and soccer players, however, someone stops us.

"Hello, brother and company," I hear Azula say. I quickly let go of Zuko's sleeve as I realize Azula and her entourage is right in front of us. Azula in a black and red fur coat smiles maliciously at Zuko, as Mai in leather (how isn't she freezing?) and Ty Lee in white earmuffs look uncomfortable behind her.

"Move, Azula," Zuko says, stepping in front of me as if to protect me. "What is your problem?"

"Oh, nothing, dear Zuko," she leers.

"Um, you got a little... something," I say, peering over his shoulder and pointing to Azula's face. She twitches, annoyed.

"What? What is it?"

"It's a little- just a little- tone of insanity in your eyes," I say, my eyes wide and innocent as she snarls. Zuko pulls me around her. I turn back as he pulls me forward, and give her a little wave as she shoots daggers at me with her eyes.

"Are you nuts?" Zuko growls as soon as we're out of earshot, and I giggle, the sound bouncing off the snow surrounding us in a way that I missed. "We don't need to antagonize her more."

"Oh, c'mon," I tease, shoving him and almost knocking him into a nearby group of basketball girls in matching JV jackets who give us a questioning look. "That was funny. Lighten up dude, you've been looking forward to this trip forever."

"Whatever," he mutters, scowling around us, as if the snow just insulted him. "Well, what do you want to do first?" I drag him, snow flying in our wake, over to the nearby directory, a wooden stand just outside the brick road path. A regular tourist is in front of the map, but sees us coming, grimaces, and hurries off. I stick my tongue out at his back.

"Well, we probably don't have time to actually go skiing," I say, pulling his wrist up to glance at his expensive watch. Only Zuko. "But I'm thinking we definitely have time to check out the little town, Warden. Hot chocolate, and then the gift shop? Then, we can take a little hike. Whaddya say?"

"Hm," he stroked his chin mockingly, "a private walk with you away from people's (specifically Azula's) prying eyes? That is a tough one. Gonna have to go with no, seeing as I hate your guts."

"Shut up," I laugh, leaning down and scooping up a handful of snow with my bare fingers, balling it up quickly, and throwing it at his face. He sputtered, and threw some at me, but I skittered out of reach.

Silly Zuko. Never pick a snowball fight with a kid from the South Pole.

***

Zuko:

It's almost like seeing Sokka in his natural environment, to everything from the snow in his hair to his rosy cheeks to the snowball fight he epically destroyed me at to the way he walked in the woods. (In case you're curious, no, we didn't get far on our hike. We got hopelessly lost, and Sokka's only solution was to climb on my back and pepper me with kisses as he whined. Not effective.)

Now, we've just walked into our room. Yes, it took some serious finagling to get Iroh to let us sleep in the same room like all the other boys did. Plus, you know...

"These beds are miniature," Sokka exclaimed as he threw his stuff down on the nearest one. I raised an eyebrow. Dramatic baby. They weren't that small. (Or maybe it was just wishful thinking.) "Well, I mean, not that small..."

Ignoring him, I set my stuff down on the other bed and examine the room. It's the same as they always are- small, with one desk, two beds, a sink that spewed out rather suspicious water, and a big window that faced the mountain. The beds were against the wall with the window.There was a crappy bathroom connected to another dorm, but when I checked on who we were connected to the room smelled like weed and they were passed out. Good enough for me.

When I come back into the room, Sokka is perched in the windowsill, his legs stretched out awkwardly as he looks over the moonlit ski resort.

"Do you miss the South Pole?" I ask, sliding in across from him. A dumb question, I know, but I just wanna hear him talk. His eyes are all soft, but old too. Wise. Not a word I would typically use to describe Sokka.

"Yeah," he says. "It was home, no matter how bleak and cold and lonely it was. Everyone cared about each other there. And it was full of memories. It felt almost wrong leaving the place my parents were raised. The hut my mother was taken from. The town hall my grandfather built. The kids Katara and I practically helped raise. But we had to leave."

"For school?" I say. That is, after all, the main reason they're here. For their future.

"Yeah," he whispers softly, his eyes still staring at the moon, so much brighter here than back in Azulon. "There was nothing for us there anymore. Just ghosts. We had to move on. Katara had to move on. I- I think I was lucky. I got to process the grief right, ya know?

"This is probably my biggest regret, but... I think taking our mother's place made Katara grow up too fast. It didn't let her grieve right. And maybe that's why she doesn't like you. Somehow... you and people like you are the way she channels her grief. Well, that and," he adds, a smile tugging at his lips, "talking about Mom all the time."

"She does talk about it a lot," I admit. I don't really know what to say. There's something, I guess, about the snow that brings out the, I don't know, soul of Sokka.

"Well, enough of that," he claps, sliding off the windowsill. The moment is broken, and I'm not sure if I should be regretful or not. "Let's see what she packed me."

"She packed your stuff?" I laugh, sliding off with him.

"Hey," he says defensively, "she's a manipulative little bastard. Not my fault." This, in Sokka language, means it was definitely his fault and he doesn't want to talk about it.

"Let's see," I say, sliding in next to him as he unzips his suitcase and duffel bag. "These clothes aren't bad."

"Yeah," he admits reluctantly. "Katara has good fashion sense, I guess."

"Dried seaweed chips?" I pull out a bag. "Where's the meat?"

"I told you," he wails, collapsing into me. "She packed! And she forgot the meat!!"

"Should've packed yourself," I shrug. "Toothbrush and stuff. And ungodly amount of floss?"

"Homework?" He says in disbelief. "Who does she think I am? And how did she get her wretched little hands on my biology for crying out-"

"Lots of reusable water bottles," I muse. "Why so many rubber bands?"

"That's a necessity," he tells me matter-of-factly. "So are the ibuprofens. I get hit with things a lot."

"Don't I know it," I mutter. Then, I notice a tiny pocket sewn into the inside of the duffel bag. "Hey, what'd she put in here?"

"Nonono I put that there hey don't-"

"Too late," I say gleefully, falling silent as I pull out several familiar tiny foil packaging, and I drop them instinctively. We both stare at them for a long moment, like two kids terrified of an animal that might bite. "Sokka, are these-"

"Yeah," he mumbles. "I just thought- just in case-"

"It's a good idea," I mutter, scratching the back of my head as my face turns almost as red as my scar. "I sort of brought the same thing-"

"We're a wreck," he sighs but then laughs into my shoulder. I have to laugh too. It's a little surprising, to say the least, and it still is every day that Sokka is actually interested in me. Sokka, the tan laidback athlete who could get pretty much everyone at school.

I guess it's just another contradiction.

***

Sokka:

After we've brushed our teeth and stuff, of course, we lay in each of our beds with the lights off, in awkward silence. We're supposed to be sleeping, but I'm pretty sure he's just laying there, painfully aware of each other. Eventually, I realize he's too much of a pussy to do anything, so I sigh, get out of bed, and slide into the sheets next to him.

Ok, these beds aren't that small, but still small enough I'm pressed up against his side, and I can see his golden eyes watching my every move.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) don't kill me for the cliffhanger love you all ok bye-


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this isn't 18+, but just to be sure if you're below 13 maybe don't read for a bit. This is the closest to 18+ this series has gotten. If you feel young and innocent, stop reading when you see --------------.)

***

Zuko:

We didn't do it that night, if that's what you're wondering.

But anyway.

Right now, we're standing in a group full of the other soccer and basketball players Iroh lists off the rules for the day. I'm not paying attention, and neither is Sokka, who looks a bit twitchy as he stands next to me. Last night was-- I can barely think about it. I just wanted him so bad, and now the want has carried over, mostly because nothing happened. Today, though, it's warmer. I feel overwhelmed with the affection I feel for this boy as he clings to my arm, trying to play it off as casual platonic friendship to the nearby teammates. Suki sees us and raises an eyebrow, but just laughs silently. I wrinkle my nose at her, and turn back to trying to pay attention to Iroh's speech. Spirits, it's hot in this lodge with all my snow gear on. Oh no. Is Sokka rubbing off on me? What happened to the Zuko that could sit still and listen to any instruction?

"...and don't forget to show the lodge restaurant you choose your meal ticket so you can get lunch and dinner. Team bonding activities at 1!" Sure, Uncle. Like anyone is going to do those. "Remember, safety first. No black diamonds unless you've signed the contract. All right, have fun-" Before he can finish, everyone is pushing to the door, the sudden overwhelming chatter making Sokka press into me.

"It's very loud!" He yells. I'm lucky- I can barely hear in my left ear. I tug his furry hood up over his ears, pressing it down with my gloves. He laughs, and I can't hear it, but that's ok. I get to see his dumb crooked smile.

Before I have time to appreciate it, we're shoved out into the snow as everyone rushes for the ski lift. Sokka and I take our time, which is surprising. His hands are entwined with mine, and I end up taking my gloves off just so I can feel his hands. I'm really lucky, I realize. I never want to take my hands out of his. Seeing him in all the snow gear- while cute- is annoying. I like the navy blue, and the thick white fur at the hood and hands.

"Ok, c'mon," he eventually tugs me over to the ski shack, where we pick some skis out. Sure, I've come here before, but... just imagine me following Uncle around like a hateful puppy. I barely went skiing at all. Sokka hands me some red ones- actually they're all red- and those little sticks. 

"Um, what are these called again?" I asks bashfully, the moment we get out of earshot of the bored looking employee and started walking towards the nearest ski lift.

"The poles?" He raises an eyebrow, and I groan.

"Yeah, those are the ones," I mumble, but he just laughs as we walk up the hill. The snow is deep, almost up to my knees, and of course Sokka refuses to walk in the path where everyone else walked. He'd rather drag me through the snow as he kicks it up. Probably just to torture me.

Finally, we get on the ski lift. Thank spirits for the Boiling Rock infrastructure- the little cabs are so far apart that nobody in front or behind us can really see us distinctly. Sokka looks excited as we get carted up the mountain, snowflakes stuck in his eyelashes and contrasting against his dark skin as he pokes his head out the cab.

"Careful," I gasp as he rocks the cab slightly. I peek my head over, gulping when I realize we've left the safety pad below and are now getting farther and farther away from the ground. When I realize I could reach out and brush the tip of one of the giant pine trees with my fingers, I gulp, and scooch closer to the middle, bumping into Sokka.

"What- oh my spirits," he laughs, his eyes wide. "I forgot you were afraid of heights. Don't worry, babe, I'll protect you." He wraps his arms around me, craning his neck to put his chin on top of my head. I duck into his arms, closing my eyes into his coat to avoid looking out. The car wobbles a little bit and I flinch, pressing into him even more. I can feel his heartbeat, barely separated by the thick fabric of his parka. Eventually, it stabilizes, and we stop rocking, still going up steadily.

"Babe?" I finally ask, once I feel like my voice isn't going to jump out of my throat. He pulls me away a little bit, his eyes excited and innocent, but a little guilty.

"No?"

"Maybe," I relent. Truth to be told, that look in Sokka's eyes combined with his voice saying "babe" combined with his arms holding my arms so firmly I'm not scared of the drop, makes something flutter in the pits of my stomach. I am suddenly painfully aware of... something.

Yeah, that doesn't make a lot of sense.

I can deal with it later, though. Right now, I just wanna have a conversation with my kinda-boyfriend about something stupid like pet names.

"I caught Katara calling Aang sweetie," he says, glancing away with a disgusted look in his face.

"Gross," I mumble under my breath.

"That's almost as bad as babe," he says. The car wobbles a bit, and I instinctively grab him.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far," I say carefully, trying to distract myself from the fact we're probably 100 feet above the ground.

"I've got you," he reassures me casually. "You don't- you don't actually like babe do you?"

"I don't know," I say, wrinkling my nose. "It's not awful. Would you prefer, uhh, cutie pie?" He fakes retching over the edge of the lift car. "Yeah, that's what I thought.

"How about love of my life?" He proclaims dramatically, doing that little thing he always does when he acts unnecessarily dramatically. He rolls his eyes back, fluttering his lashes quickly, and jutting his chin out and to the left. It's a simple, smooth movement, and I don't know where it came from.

"Bleh," I say.

"Bleh," he repeats.

I should've known a conversation with him about stuff like this would go. I can't get a straight answer. He's too contradictory. He says he doesn't like babe, but he was the one who suggested it, and his eyes turn a little dark when I say it. But, like, dark in a good way.

Ugh. That makes about as much sense as he does.

None.

***

Sokka:

When he says 'bleh,' he sticks his tongue out a tiny bit, like a little kid. I sort of like seeing this childish side of Zuko, because he always used to act all mature and adult-ish. His fingers are still digging into my forearms, and I'm glad I'm wearing my parka. His fingers are strong, probably a basketball trait.

Finally, the ski lift ends, and we hop off, Zuko hanging on to my arm, refusing to let go even as we walk over to the launch point.

"You can do this?" I ask. I'm practically shaking with excitement- I haven't skied in almost a year, whereas I used to do it practically every day.

"Psh, yeah, this one is easy," he says, blowing me off. I watch him fiddle with his skis, and I'm not so sure, but he refuses to go to an earlier one, so I flip down the goggles, give him a grin, and I'm off.

Flying down the mountain is an exhilarating feeling. Once you reach the point of if I try to stop now, I'm gonna wipe out there's nothing to do but bunker down and try your best to nail it. And I do. There's a lot more trees and rocks and other skiiers here then in the South Pole, but the snow flying in my face and the bright open sky are the same. Plus, Katara and I spent so much time skiing that we built a course harder than a black diamond out of scraps from an abandoned navy ship and chunks of ice. However, it's been so long since I've skiied, this feels hard too.

Once I stop at the bottom, I turn around, grinning, to see Zuko stomping down the hill covered in snow.

"Wipe out," he grumbles. I laugh, brushing the snow off his face with my hands, kissing the excess out. I look into his sulky eyes, smiling, and his eyes soften a little bit.

The next time on the ski lift, we spent talking about how much fun it was. I got the sense Zuko isn't love with skiing, but he is in love with-- you know. You know.

The next time on the way down, Zuko crashed again, but I was too busy watching him I fell off too. Picture two gay clowns laying sprawled out at the bottom of this giant mountain, facing the sky as we laugh and laugh and laugh, everyone walking around us, confused. Catching snowflakes on our tongues. Hands barely touching. Making snow angels until our bruises fadd enough to get up.

The next way on the ski lift, we were just laughing so hard I don't think we got a single word out the whole way up.

The next way down nobody crashed. High five at the end. Homoerotic state. The next way up: Intense making up the whole way up.

The next way down, I'm surprised we made it down. Flushed lips, heart racing. It's been this way the whole day- walking a razor's edge between your average, floating, laughing teenage boys clowning around and in love, and something else. Something deeper.

I'm not talking about sex. I mean... we're thinking about it. But there's something else. Something dangerous. Ancient. I can't describe it. If I was the type of person to believe in soulmates- which I'm not sure I'm not- I would rule it out to that.

One moment we're eating bagels for lunch in the lodge, laughing as cheese gets stuck on my lip and Zuko interrogates the lunch staff for the hot chocolate recipe while I lose it in the background. The next we're just looking at each other, walking through the snow. I want to memorize the way this day feels- everything from the terrifying emotions welling up in me, to the snowflakes clumped on his eyelashes, to the way there's no awkwardness between the two of us for once.

Everything just sort of- fits. Better than it should. I'm lucky I'm not the type of person to get overwhelmed. When I'm with Zuko, I feel like something divine meant for this to happen.

Just as I think that, he trips and falls face first in the snow, sputtering as I help him up. Never mind. I don't think the words "Zuko" and "divine" should ever be in the same sentence. He just tripped over- nothing.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks once we get on the lift again. His eyes are totally on me, and I get a quick flashback to that Halloween night. I just wanted him to look at me like this. And now he is, and it's everything I imagined. I lean over and kiss him.

"Stuff."

***

Zuko:

"Stuff?" I ask, but he silences me with his lips on mine again. I let a gloved hand drift up to the back of his head, getting ready for another makeout session, but, disappointingly, he pulled away, smiling.

"Yeah, stuff."

"You're acting weird."

"I just... I..." He lays his head in my lap, hanging his feet out of the edge of the ski car. Psychopath.

"What?" I ask, looking down at him.

"Never mind," he says quickly, looking away. I sigh as subtly as possible. Great. Now he's acting awkward, after a day of perfect bliss. The sun is setting slightly, dipping below one of the mountains. The fiery streaks that cover the sky, stretching everywhere, are in direct contrast to the bright snowy landscape. It casts an golden-pink glow over Sokka's face, his eyes flitting up to glance at me.

"What were you going to say?" I ask, trying to make my voice as calm and gentle as possible. I want to know. I need to know. More than ever, I wish I had a crowbar to pry his head open and see what he's thinking.

"Nothing. Kiss?" He cranes his neck up, making a stupid kissy face, but I just put my palm on his forehead and shove him back down onto my lap.

"No kiss," I say firmly.

"No kiss?" His face screws up like's he gonna cry.

"If you tell me what you were going to say, I'll kiss you all night," I promise.

"All night?" He looks up, one eyebrow climbing up. He's about to say something stupid, I can tell. "What if we did something... else?"

"You're the worst," I laugh, trying to laugh the blush off my face.

"Nah," he teases back, cackling, "you know you love me."

"Is that what you were going to say?" I poke him, and his face grows serious.

"Maybe," he turns away a little bit. "Nosy."

"Nosy?" I ask, surprised how bemused my voice sounds when my face is on fire.

"Nosy," he shoves me a little bit, making the car wobble.

"Hey!" I say defensively, grabbing his shoulders. He maliciously smiles, and pulls himself up so he's practically sitting in my lap. The car stops wobbling a couple moments later, and once I've calmed down, I realize he's sitting on my lap.

"Payback for yesterday," he says gleefully, wrapping his arms around me as he grinds his butt down. I bite his shoulder through the parka, refusing to give him the satisfaction as my face burns red. I'm sure my entire face is the color of my scar. "C'mon, Zuko." I think- this stupid nerdy boy is literally dragging his hips in figure eights.

Just in time, we approach the little hut and have to jump off.

"Last one for today, kids," the attendant says, then frowns at me. "You ok? Got a fever or something?"

"Just cold," I mumble.

As soon as we're out of earshot of the attendant, I whirl around to narrow my eyes at Sokka, who's whistling, his eyes not meeting mine with a happily evil look on them.

"You little-"

"Almost time to go," Sokka interrupts me as we approach the launching point or whatever, the attendant following us in the distance to close up. Before I can berate him or protest, he gives me a hot, obnoxiously tongue-y kiss and then heads off.

"-Sokka." I finish, shaking my head, before following him closely down the hill. Still not a fan of skiing, but I am a fan of Sokka, who's trail quickly disappears in the snow. Doing this in the dark is even less fun.

Finally, we finish, and check our skis back in with a different attendant who directs us to the dinner lodge. There's a crowd of people heading in with us- like a school of fish- so I can't say anything to Sokka. We check into dinner, and walk into the lodge, which is big, wooden, and the walls are covered in weird animal heads. An aggressive parent chaperone bombards us with hand sanitizer the moment we've taken our coats and gloves off, and then her partner practically shoves us towards the kitchen where we get our food. Mashed potatoes and... a strange, red bean substance?

"What... is this?" Sokka asks, our tension momentarily forgotten as we both investigate the weird bean substance.

"I don't know," I answer truthfully, mystified. "There's usually a second option-"

"No thanks!" Sokka quickly says, cheerfully, pointing to the 'second option,' which look like limped steamed greens covered in a chalky powder and dates. As in, the fruit.

"A solid no thank you," I agree, and put some mashed potatoes and mystery beans on my plate. We're handed some fruit, and a dessert, which actually doesn't look half bad. Then, we peel out and into the lodge again, where the noise of all the teams eating and talking is getting deafening. "Where's Suki?" I scour the tables for her, finally seeing the team's signature scrunchies, and drag Sokka over. Hopefully Azula won't bother us with the terrifying Kyoshi Warrior soccer team at our back.

"Hey guys!" She says as soon as we sit down. Everyone's hair is all rumpled, everyone's cheeks and noses are flushed, and one of the younger girls looks like she has mild hyptothermia as she scooches closer to Suki, wearing three parkas.

"Hi Suki," Sokka says, sliding in across from her. I follow him, waving to Suki as well.

"Hey Sokka. Hey, Zuko." Sokka says something undecipherable, his mouth already full of food. I poke at the bean substance. Why is he eating so fast?

The conversation goes slow, mostly about the different ski adventures everyone had in the day. I tell them about me and Sokka's epic wipeout, but I spend most of the time eating too. When you're starving, apparently, you will eat mystery beans rather you like it or not. Oh, and the dessert turned out to be a brownie that tasted suspiciously like lentils. I just picked off the fudge topping with Sokka's fork and ate that.

Sokka and I finisheating before a good portion of the other kids, so I figured we would just hang out a bit and talk. Nope.

"Let's go back to the dorm," he whispers, his breath tickling my air. I blush at the sultry tone of his voice, and push him away lightly.

"The chaperones won't let us," I point out, and he narrows his eyes to watch the chaperones send a pair of girls back to their tables with pointed fingers.

"Uggggg-" he says, but suddenly stops and pulls his head away, smiling innocently. I watch him carefully. What is he up to-

Oh. Ahahahaha. I get it now.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

"Anyway, SuKI-" My voice breaks as he slides his hand up my thigh under the table. Suki raises a questioning eyebrow, shifting her gaze between me and Sokka. Sokka gives her a brilliant grin, and she shrugs. "How was dinner?"

"It was fine, Zuko," she answers carefully. "Um, how was your dinner?"

Please stop talking to me please stop talking to me please stop talking to me please-

"It was greAT," I say, trying to as incospicuously as possible to shift my lower half, hoping to perhaps shoo Sokka off. But his hand keeps going up. I consider stopping him, but something inside of me- the teenage boy, probably- doesn't.

"So, Zuko," she asks, leaning forward. Oh spirits. She's playing right into this. I can tell from the side eyes she shoots the innocent-looking Sokka. "Are you enjoying the varsity basketball team?" Excuse me? Sokka is doing- something quite filthy- down there- and she wants to talk about basketball. This is just cruel, Suki.

"I like it," I swallow. Why is my voice so dry? I've never felt more awkward in my life. "It's pretty difficult."

"It's very hard," Sokka chimes in sympathetically, and Suki's eyes widen, her lips parting a tiny bit before she nods. Did they plan this? I'm going to kill Sokka. He did not just say that.

"Not that hard," I say, shooting him a look. Thank spirits none of the other Warriors are paying attention to our little conversation. Most are having their own intense conversations, and even the tiny girl curled up next to Suki is fast asleep. "I think the team thinks it's better than it is," I add. His hand freezes, and picks up again, dangerously approaching where I hope he's not planning on going. Ok, it does.

"I don't know, you seem to like it," he shoots back, and Suki looks like she's watching a boxing match, her eyes flitting back and forth, widening each time.

"Anyway, you guys seem super busy and the chaperones seem to be letting people out and-"

"Great that is great thank you Suki-" I say in a monotone voice, standing up quickly and dragging Sokka away.

Oh, I'm going to kill him.

***

Sokka:

Zuko practically drags me, twisting my wrist, the short distance back to the dorm. I barely have time to snatch our coats from a confused-looking chaperone.

"Why are you walking funny?" I tease, but he keeps walking until we enter the dorm, and he shuts the door, eyeing me funny.

"There, now you have me alone. Wanna tell me why you acted so funny- why you- did that?" He says, but he doesn't sound mad. Just oblivious. Spirits, he's so oblivious.

"Go take a shower and think about it," I say, pushing him towards the bathroom. He frowns, but does it anyway.

Spirits, why does he think I'm acting like this? I can't stop thinking about him, and today just showed how much I- you know. I can't say it out loud. I just want Zuko.

I take off my clothes, slipping into a pair of sweatpants. I don't feel like a shirt, because even though its chilly in the room it feels like fire underneath my skin as I stare at the ceiling, literally fiddling with my thumbs as I wait. Several long, painful minutes later, Zuko comes out, looking incredibly hot with just a towel around his waist, his hair damp. The lights are off, but the moonlight shining in shows plenty enough.

"No clothes," I observe, and he nods, then stops.

"I forgot you were acting weird."

"Zuko," I start. Ok, he's too oblivious for me to do this seductively. He obviously didn't get the hint the first couple days "Sit down."

"Ok, weirdo," he says nervously, and sits across from me. Do not look at the abs, Sokka.

"Have you ever thought about- you know- um, sex?" Spirits, this is awkward.

"Sokka, I'm a teenage boy," he says, unsure. "Of course I have."

"Have you ever thought about it- with me?" Wow, we're really just going for it.

"I mean-- Um-- I guess-"

"Do you wanna just tell me how you feel?" I practically plead with him, turning to face him better. His eyes are wide as I lean forward, asking in my eyes.

"Do you want to- you know-" He says, stuttering.

"Gee, Zuko, I wonder," I say sarcastically.

"I don't know," he mutters. "Why would you want to- with me-"

"Zuko," I say, exasperated. "Why wouldn't I- what??" He doesn't say anything, he just stupidly points to his scar without making eye contact. I groan and flop on the bed, still facing him.

"I don't know," he says, and lays down next to me. I roll over, on top of him, and just look at him, the pale moonlight illuminating his features. "You're just. It feels like, if we do this-" His face is red. Even I can tell that. "Then it's like there's no going back. Sort of. If that makes sense."

"I don't want to go back, Zuko," I say earnestly, holding his hands. His hands are hot. Literally. I feel like they're going to burn me, but I keep holding on, and the heat subsides slightly.

"What if I'm not your type," he says miserably, and I almost laugh and cry at the same time. "Burned isn't very many people's types"

"Zuko-" I start, but he interrupts me.

"What if you meet someone that looks like me, but. Better."

"Zuko," I say fiercely, rollig on top of him, cupping his face with my hands. My fingers brush the scar, and I don't care, because the scar is what makes Zuko Zuko. (Well, part of it.) And I wouldn't change that for the world.

"For the world?" He murmurs, and I sigh defeatedly.

"How much did I say out loud?" I ask, trying not to meet his eyes. But they're trained on me. As if he really believes me.

"Enough," he says, and then kisses me, hard. We roll over on the pathetic tiny bed a couple times, his towel falling off to reveal shorts. (Why would he wear shorts under a towel?)

"I like you for being Zuko" I breath, his lips hovering barely apart from mine. "Except for maybe being so oblivious all the time."

"Then you'll forgive me if I clarify one more thing?" He asks, his hands around my bare waist.

"I'll always forgive you," I whisper. I'm not sure where that came from. "Shoot."

"What were you going to say?"

"Zuko," I breath-laugh, heat radiating off him. "I think- I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Me too, Sokka," he mutters, his hands fumbling with my belt. "I think I am too."


	20. Chapter 20

***

Zuko:

I wake up to a rather obnoxious bright light in my face.

Squinting, I realize it's the sun. We never closed the blinds because we liked the moonlight coming in. At least, I did. Sokka, dripping in the moonlight... there's just something so debacherous about it. Wait. If the sun is up already... we overslept.

Stretching slightly, I crane my neck to the alarm clock. Jeez. It's already like ten, which means everyone else is already out skiing. The blankets slide over my bare skin, and I freeze. Everything rushes back in as I realize I am not wearing any clothes and neither is Sokka. I twist as slowly as possible to see him sprawled out over the pillow, his bare back gleaming in the early sunlight. His eyes are firmly closed, thank the spirits, and his mouth is open in a perfect o as if he was snoring. I should probably get dressed. I slide out as inconspicuously as possible, my toes curling when they hit the cold wooden floor. I slide on the pair of sweatpant shorts, realizing but not caring that they're Sokka's. I can remember Sokka sliding them off me, his normally jittery hands surprisingly smooth.

Flopping back on the bed with a stupid grin on my face, I recount the memories of last night. There's nothing muddled about it- each memory crystal clear. I secretly vow, right there in the morning light, to never tell anyone about last night. There's a piece of him that nobody else ever gets to see. It's a shame, for the whole rest of the world, I think. It was nice not having the threat of Katara barging in looming at the door- he, of course, locked the door way beforehand. Sokka was remarkably Sokka about the whole, wonderful, strange thing- pretty good at it, with a mix of witty remarks and breathy-Sokka-like words, murmured in my ear. I do feel a little dirty about the whole thing, but it's hard to feel dirty with Sokka, who practically drips in ethereality, a foot away from you. It's like he burns all the impurities away, but claims he loves them anyway. Contradictory, yeah?

"Morning," I whisper as I roll over and rest in front of his face. His eyes open one at a time, and he squints at me, a sleepy smile tugging at his lips.

"Zuko," he mumbles, giving me a wet kiss.

"Your breath smells," I laugh, and stand up, stretching. "Get some clothes on." I watch him narrow his eyes as he peeks under the blanket then snatches it back over himself.

"I'm naked," he observes. I raise my eyebrow, turning away and throwing my shorts over my shoulder.

"I don't mind," I flirt, and I hear him scoff.

"You're good," he tells me, and I turn around to see a semi-clothed Sokka yawn and stretch. "So, how late are we?"

"Fairly late," I admit, and he wrinkles his nose. "So, what do you want to do today?"

"I assume we're going skiing," he asks carefully.

"Well, I don't know, maybe we could do something different?" I ask, as casually as possible. He raises an eyebrow suspiciously, and then gasps dramatically. "Sokka, no-"

"You a bit---- would you say you're-- sore, Zuko?" He has a wide, satisfied, evil grin on his face as he hops over the bed to approach me.

"Don't flatter yourself," I snap. "You weren't that good." As if to test, he puts a hand on my chest and pushes me backward. I stumble backward, wincing, instincitvely snapping my legs together. He gave a triumphant laugh as he drapes himself over me.

"If you can't walk, it's ok," he croons. "I'll carry you everywhere, babe."

"I can walk fine," I grumble, pushing him off me. "I'm just a little... sore. Maybe skiing isn't the best idea today. We could still go again tomorrow, maybe. Sorry." I do feel bad. Sokka seems to love it.

"Nah, don't worry about it," he brushes it off. "Yesterday and tomorrow will be fine enough. Plus, I should be the one apologizing. Maybe next time I won't be as good, yeah?"

"Bold of you to assume I'll let you be on top next time," I tease, and he shrugs, smiling, moving closer.

"You wanna deny yourself... all this?" Sokka does a stupid little hip pop that looks so dumb, I practically burst out laughing, but then he moans in my ear, replicating my voice with creepy accuracy. "Ohhhh... Sokka..."

"Ok, enough," I say, my face heating up as I push him off my shoulder.

"Well, what else is there to do here?" He asks, already having moved on from the subject.

"Um," I start. "There's the resort."

"Now, what does the resort entail?"

"Why didn't you read the guide?" I complain, but he just giggles. "Uh, the pool. Oh, and the spa. Uncle loves the spa. All sorts of stuff there."

"That doesn't sound very manly, does it?" He complains as he rifles through his suitcase, pulling out a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. I just raise an eyebrow.

"Do you really wanna go there or should I just recount-"

"That's fine!" He interrupts me quickly. "Spa it is." He throws a shirt at me.

"We better go soon or the cleaning staff will show up," I warn.

"You sure you can make it down the hall?" He jokes, grabbing our room key off the counter.

"Positive," I respond dryly.

***

Sokka:

Somehow, we make it through the confusing maze that is this ski resort. There's a sketchy amount of guards- I mean, attendants- that roam the halls, and we almost get snatched up by a few of them. I guess we aren't supposed to be let loose in the corridors like this.

"Welcome to the Boiling Rock spa and resort!" A red-dressed employee approaches us, her hair neatly tied up like everybody else's. I peek around her to the spa, which is large, and full of all sorts of guests undergoing "relaxing-looking" treatments. There's a hot tub, too.

"Um, hi," Zuko answers, and they're already dragging us in.

"Would you like a facial first, or a deep tissue massage?" Another employee hops up, his gloved hands outstretched.

"Massage," we both answer at the same time.

"Lovely," he says, his threatening face not saying it. "I'm Warden, the owner of the resort. I have a perfect record of satisfied customers, and I will not let it be ruined." With that, we are dragged to two white, plush-lined beds where we're unceremoniously thrown down.

"Great," I mutter, as barriers come around us, like changing rooms, so we cna get out of our clothes, on the beds, our butts covered with towels. I do it as quickly as possible, peering through the cracks in the curtains to see if Zuko's doing the same. Right as I lay down, they whip the curtains away, and someone approaches me, oiling their hands with lotion. I try to tilt my head to see who it is, but I can't. I just have a view of their uniformed stomach and Zuko, the next bed over. I can almost feel the confusion radiating off of both of our attendants, and I remember last night. I'm not saying we were rough with each other- just eager and clumsy, and there are definitely more than a few shallow bruises on Zuko and I's backs.

"Skiing..?" I offer as a lame excuse, and get no response other than Zuko's raised eyebrow. Then, they start the massage, digging their knuckles in and rolling them methodically down my back. It seriously hurts at first, but it actually feels really good. I end up moaning into the pillow (gross) after several minutes. I look over, and Zuko has a similiar reaction. However, I notice with satisfaction, he doesn't sound as... moany as he did last night. Take that, weird-back-massage-people!

After what could've been ten to forty minutes of that, we have to get dressed and move on to the next section, a facial or whatever. As we wait to go on, Zuko leans over.

"What if they don't know what to do with my scar?" He whispers. I reach out and quickly and affectionately swipe my thumb across his jaw.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, ok? Just relax." He nods, and lets himself be guided away. I also follow another attendant.

***

Zuko:

I have to say, a deep facial is enjoyable, as well as the foot scrub, hot tub... etc. etc. I walk away from the table feeling totally- um, rejuvenated, detoxed, and hydrated. I can't help but feel Warden's watchful, creepy eye as we walk out, far into the afternoon.

"Well, that was nice," he groans, bumping into me as we walk towards an early dinner.

"I have to admit," I admit, "apparently I enjoy hot tubs more than I thought I did."

"We were in there all day," he laughs.

"That's fine with me," I say, wrapping my arm around his neck. He needs to be reminded I'm taller than him. He can use a little ego bruising, I think.

"Boys!" I hear a familiar voice say, and turn around to see Suki jogging after us, slightly panting.

"Suki!" Sokka says, shrugging out of my embrace and giving her a quick hug.

"I hope you guys figured out whatever," she raises an eyebrow, and we both blush, "was going on last night, because you have a party to attend."

"Ooh, a party?" Sokka crows. I just narrow my eyes. Last party we attended was... interesting, to say the least.

"Yeah, some of the kids who are locals here are throwing a party in one of the lodge/restaurants up-mountain a bit. Almost everyone's going, and seeing as you two are losers, nobody else would let you know."

"Ahem, rude," Sokka pouts, folding his arms and leaning into me.

"Kidding, Suki laughs. "But I figured I'd let you know. There'll be loads of people there. Will you come?"

"Um," I hesitate, but Sokka is already nodding enthusiastically. Of course he is.

"Yep, we'll be there!" He babbles.

"What would you do without me," Suki teases as she walks away.

"Be significantly less aware of social events," Sokka calls out, drawing more than a few strange looks from nearby kids,

***

Sokka:

As we prepare to leave for the party, the chaperones already sleeping and convinced nobody is sneaking out at 10 pm, I'm disappointed to find Katara did not pack me any party clothes. Not that I, of course, even know what proper "party attire" is. Besides the Halloween party, the only parties I've been too in Azulon have been either relaxed soccer parties, parties with the gang, or the occasional raver Zuko and I somehow get roped into. Thankfully, though, he's having the same issue. We've been rifling around in our suitcases for a while now, and he had a little better luck than me. He's in the bathroom right now, trying on Possible Outfit for Our Party 1.0! Ok, maybe I need a better name than that. I don't know. POOP isn't a great acronym. Hm, maybe, Boiling Rock Outfit? BRO? Maybe-

"Hey, does this look okay?" His raspy yet deep voice breaks me out of my acronym stupor. I glance up, already rolling my eyes. Why is the fashion expert asking me what-

"Um!" I yelp, accidentally dropping the suitcase lid on my fingers. Ouch, I think dully, but the rest of my brain is overridden with gay screaming. "Yeah, that looks totally fine," I say, my face red as I tug at my shirt collar with a finger. Fine is probably the understatement of the century. Zuko looks drop-dead amazing. He's wearing some loose black button-up, a little silky, buttoned way too low. I mean, I can basically see his entire chest and stomach, and it's not a bad view. Plus, I think those jeans are new. They fit his body a little too nicely for my jealous comfort.

"Fine?" he asks, his face screwing up in displeasure as he starts to head back into the bathroom.

"No!" I basically scream, stumbling over to him and slapping his hand from the door handle. "You look great." He shoots me a wounded look, cradling his slightly-red hand to his chest like I tried to cut it off.

"Maybe I should change, you're acting weird," he sticks out his lip in a pout like a baby, and I have to sigh.

"Zuko," I say patiently, my hands cupping around his cheeks. "You look really good, ok? I'm just being a disaster gay."

"Ok," he laughs, pecking me on the lips, all signs of a pout gone as he swiftly marches away. I'm left fuming. What a manipulative little- "Try this one." His voice shakes me out of my vengeful stupor. A shirt hits me in the back of my head, and I barely manage to catch it. Ah, he selected Katara's favorite, the big plain blue crewneck sweater with the tiny wave symbol on the chest. "And my jeans."

"Your- your what?" I ask, stunned. Zuko rarely wears jeans.

"Yeah, my mom jeans. I don't know, I bought them a couple months ago and they just don't fit my vibe. Wear them," he practically demands, walking over to his suitcase and then thrusting them into my hands. His confident tone doesn't match the blush on his face.

"Ok," I mumble, taking them from his hands and slipping into the bathroom. I was under the impression that mom jeans were strictly for girls who wear crop tops and chunky sneakers, and pretty boys who like, skateboard and write poetry. But if Zuko knows anything, it's fashion, so I put them on, and then tug on the shirt. I'm keeping my hair up. I actually look- I don't know. Like one of those pretty boys who skateboard and write poetry. Maybe that's Zuko's type. I should come up with a poem. Poems rhyme, right? Maybe I can rhyme Sokka with rock-ya. Hm-

"Are you done yet?" He impatiently hits the door. The poetry will have to wait.

"You like?" I proclaim dramatically, kicking the door open so I can do jazz hands. He strokes his chin thoughtfully, like an old man, and leans forward, tucking the sweater in a little bit.

"There," he says, the professional look leaving his eyes as his hands linger around my waist, one thumb still tucked in the waistband of the jeans along with the hem of my sweater. His eyes, golden slits, look slightly down at me.

Zuko:

"Hey," he laughs, a little nervous. Something about us being dressed like this brings out different elements in each other. Last night, Sokka radiated top energy, all cocky grins and know-it-all words whispered in my ears. Now, he looks almost nervous, his fingers retreating in his too-long sleeves, his bright blue eyes so wide I can see my reflection in his pupils.

"Hey," I mutter in his ear. This confidence... it's exhilarating. It's what makes me tilt my head and bite the tip of his earlobe, narrowly avoiding the tiny pierced studs.

"Zuko!" He yelps, trying to retreat, but my fingers have snaked around his waist and hold him firmly.

"Where are you gooooooing?" I tease, pressing him against me. For a minute, his eyes flash, tempted to just do this all night, but then he sticks out his lip stubbornly and wiggles out of my grasp.

"Party," he reminds me, straightening up. Ok, that outfit should be illegal. Mom jeans might not have been my thing but d-a-m-n. Damn. "Remember?"

"Vaguely," I huff, crossing my arms. "That must explain why we're all dressed up." He leans down and tosses my combat-ish boots at me.

"That explains something," he grumbles, sitting down to tie on his vans as his eyes wander down my chest. "Like why that's buttoned so low."

"You don't like?" I observe. I guess it is buttoned kind of low. "I mean, I could-"

"Nah," he stands up, kissing me on the cheek. "Dress slutty. I can fight." With that, he saunters out the door. I narrow my eyes. Who exactly does Sokka, who is dressed like the most bottom-y bottom in the history of bottoms, think he's going to be fighting?

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> author's note:
> 
> hey all! just a few things to mention since i haven't updated in like, a century. first of all, thank you all so much for continuing to show this story the support that you all have! it's honestly shocking and means a lot to me. second of all, thank you for being flexible with me, especially with my wacky posting schedule. i love you all so much. third of all, this chapter i personally like, especially the ending, and next chapter should be a bop.


	21. Chapter 21

a/n: this chapter is pretty mature, so if you're 13 or younger, just have caution. i won't explicitly go into the naughty time, though, don't worry.

TW: i don't really know, but if you consider gendered vulgar words triggering, be cautious at the end. it's sl**. (if this isn't adequate let me know.)

***

Sokka:

"Hey guys," Suki says as soon as we enter the party. The party is like, a restaurant, except all the tables are cleared out, so it's just a big empty space with an amateur DJ at the front and some tables of junk food. The building itself is impressive, a huge geomterical glass roof above us. We're under the stars, literally. "Glad you could make it." She fist bumps me, and looks us up and down. She's looking nice too, going for a red and black skater girl vibe. The place is crowded, mostly soccer players and local kids, but there's a handful of basketball players too. One of Zuko's friends stumbles past us, holding a red solo cup as he slings his arm around Zuko.

"So glad," he slurs, and Suki takes that as her cue to disappear back into the crowd.

"Is Azula here?" Zuko asks the player, and he shakes his head fervently.

"Her and the hot one are probably making out," he drawls. Zuko raises an eyebrow at 'the hot one.' Probably some local boy his sister intimidated into bed. "Nobody told her about the party anyway. It's for not-closeted kids." I can't help myself, I inhale quickly. I see why Suki, the bi icon she is, invited us here. It's a safe space in one of the unsafest environments for teenagers: a party full of horny, sweaty, athletes.

"Perfect." With that, he leads me into the party, away from the drunk boy.

"This song is a bop," I say, but he just points to his ear as we wind through the crowd. I guess the combination of Zuko's half-hearing and the roar of drunk high schoolers at a party don't lead to the best understanding. "This song," I yell, "is a bop." He nods in agreement. The DJ is playing Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko, except it's some remix or something.

"C'mon, dance, lover boy," he says in my ear, so I do. Have I mentioned I'm a phenomenal dancer?

"I'm a phenomenal dancer," I yell at him, and I assume he can hear me because he just shakes his head and laughs. My hand still tightly woven in his, I do my best to dance to the rhythm, popping my hips and attempting to moonwalk. I do jazz hands with my left hand which I really think pulls the whole thing together. Zuko watches and laughs, being dragged along with me. He dances a little bit too, his eyes never leaving me. Even as I look away, I feel his gaze on me, warm.

***

Zuko:

One moment, Sokka is dancing to one of the gayest songs ever. Next thing I know, someone with long fingers has wrapped their hand around Sokka's shoulder. I stop dancing to see a very attractive, drunk boy with long shaggy hair pulling Sokka away.

"Hey, babe," he slurs. Jeez, the alcohol here is something else, yeah?

"Um," he says, freezing up in a totally-adorable-but-really-not-the-time way. Spirits, what is it with us, parties, and freezing up. I see Sokka raise an eyebrow in the background, peering his head over the boy's shoulders as he is twirled.

"You know this is a gay party, right?" The boy laughs, twirling something between his lips. "I'm Jet."

"NicetomeetyouJetbuthere'sthethingI'mherewithmyboyfriend-" he stutters out as Jet's hands methodically work down his waist. Good lord. He doesn't stop, and I start to freak out, before I take a deep breath. I'm Zuko. I'm wearing this shirt that's buttoned way too low. My cute boyfriend in mom jeans is quite literally a heartbeat away, and he can handle this. Jet really can't take a hint, because despite Sokka's feeble efforts, he starts rotating his hips against Sokka's with the music. That does it. Just before I step in, Sokka firmly wrenches himself away and grabs my arm.

"My boyfriend," Sokka repeats, turning away from Jet to give me a kiss that ignites something fiery in the pits of my stomach. He starts kissing down my neck, soft and gentle, and I can see Jet glaring at us, suddenly stone cold sober. I flip him off, and he just smiles, a cold, calculating smile, before sauntering away, the alcohol clear in his step.

Great. Another enemy.

***

Sokka:

I guess I see how Zuko felt with the whole Mai incident, but I would say I handled it significantly better.

Not to brag.

I'm just surprised this Jet-character went after me. I mean, I look pretty, don't get me wrong. Zuko, though? Zuko looks bombshell fucking hot. If that's a phrase. I mean, you know what I mean.

We dance for a bit longer, the late night seeping into our bones as we get sloppy and silly, the crowd getting more and more wild. More and more people start to arrive, so the room gets more crowded, until I'm practically pressed up against Zuko. I mean, I'm ok with that.

He goes off to get us some drinks, and when he comes back holding the cups, it's sort of like seeing him all new again. The heat of the party has made his hair stick straight up with sweat, and his face is all flushed as he dances with me, his long fingers absentmindedly brushing my hand, my collarbone, my back. Not to mention, he's drawing a lot of looks, but his eyes are trained on me. Finally, I can't take it anymore. He's just too goddam hot. That might be the alcohol speaking- when did I drink this entire cup? I wrap my fingers around his wrist and drag him out of the crowd, hearing his nervous giggle as he follows me. I definitely catch more than a few jealous glances, and something like pride swells up in me that I'm the one that gets to drag his stupid attractive butt everywhere.

"Where we going, Sokka?" He says. He's not super drunk yet, but his words definitely aren't as articulate as they usually are.

"I'm hot in this sweater," I complain, "so let's get some fresh air."

"Whatever you say, babe," he says, pressing his face into the back of my neck as we walk out of one of the exits, the freezing air hitting like a brick wall.

"Ahh," I say in relief, and he just shivers and presses up to me.

"s'cold," he mumbles, and I wrap my hand around him as he burrows his face in the crook of my neck again. My nose is pressed in his hair as we sit on the bench, watching the snow fall gently down. If you let your eyes blur a little bit, it looked like the stars were slowly plummeting toward you.

"Poor thing," I tease, but my voice doesn't sound like it's teasing. "We can go back inside."

"Nah, just warm me up," he mumbles.

"What do you have in mind?" I say, my face turning red even as I say it. He murmurs something that sounds suspiciously like "I don't know" and then turns to kiss me, his lips meeting mine. Despite the fact that it's freezing out and he's shivering, his lips are almost feverish and we immediately start kissing. I swear, every time we kiss, it's better than the last. Gone are the days of bumping noses and teeth and hands not sure where to go. He starts wriggling closer to me, pressing me against the window, and just when it starts to get interesting-

"Yeah, you guys look gay enough," a disembodied voice says disinterestedly. Panicking, we separate and look around to see a pretty local girl with short blonde hair, freckles, and bright blue eyes that stare at us, one eyebrow raised. She's wearing cuffed jeans, two different colored Converse, and a crop top with some Van Gogh painting on it. "You done?"

"Who are you?" Zuko says quickly, and she sticks out her bottom lip.

"I'm the local bisexual, Olivia."

"How may- how may we help you?" I say politely, trying to ignore Zuko's hips right on top of me. She looks us up and down, pops a bubble she had been chewing, and shrugs.

"We need some gays to play truth or dare with us. You down?"

"Um-" I look at Zuko, confused. He shrugs.

"Two of your friends sent me- the hot bi one with eyeliner who told me where you were, and the cute pan one who told me where to find you? She's blind?"

"Toph," Zuko and I answer at the same time, and she snaps her fingers.

"That's the one. So, you down, or not?" After a moments' decision, I stand up, pushing Zuko off me, and dragging him with me.

"Sure."

***

Zuko: 

Sokka looks so confident leading me back through the party- ok, never mind. He swatted my hand away from taking another cup of alcohol. Seriously, what is his problem?

Olivia leads us to a backroom which I quickly identify as a kitchen. There, on one of those huge island counters, a handful of kids sit in a circle. None of them are in chairs. 

"Hey guys, got the newbies," Olivia announces and she slides on the table, patting a spot for us. I notice Toph and Suki are at the counter, too, Toph's head resting on her shoulder with a wicked, satisfied grin. "Guys, meet..."

"Sokka and Zuko," I say, pointing at each of us. 

"Ok, Sokka and Zuko, meet guys. We're all locals 'cept your friends. That's Lindsey, she/her-" she points at a pretty Chinese girl with a sunflower tattoo, "Avery, they/them-" she points at a black kid with turquoise hair just nods at us, "Liz, she/them," she points at a tall blonde person with a NASA shirt who gives a peace sign, "James, he/him," she points at an older, rather attractive Hispanic boy, "and Ash, he/them," she points at a tan boy with fluffy hair. "Ok, any questions?"

"Yeah, why are we here?" Zuko asks. I elbow him, but it's too late.

"Uh, queer truth or dare, obviously," Suki says, and everyone else on the table solemnly nods.

"Ok, rules," Lindsey butts in, addressing all of us. "One, absolutely no cishet-ness. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am," everyone says, including Sokka, but I'm not paying attention. Sokka's too pretty. He elbows me, though, so I guess I'll say it next time."

"Two, nothing weird unless you're already a couple. Does everyone know who's a couple and who isn't?" Sokka and I shake our heads, and so does Suki, but Toph doesn't. I guess that's a weird perk of being blind- she knows way too much about people than she honestly should. 

"Lindsey and I are," Avery says, and she nods. 

"We're just going to assume Suki and Toph are, too, and so are you and Zuko, am I wrong?" Ash says. Sokka nods, and Suki just looks embarrassed. Ah, young gay love. 

"Olivia has pretty much dated everyone in the circle so don't worry about it, and Liz is ace, so don't put her in a weird situation," James says, and Olivia gives an indignant "hey!" but he ignores her. 

"Got it."

I must say, though, queer truth or dare is truly very interesting. The locals share some interesting gossip via truths that I don't really remember- 'you dated who??? - and Toph reveals some rather sad stuff about her past. Stuff starts to get interesting, then. Olivia gets dared to skateboard down the hill in the four foot snow, which she obliges, and comes back twenty minutes later totally soaked. Toph gets dared to kiss Suki, which they do, obviously. Avery gets dared to let Toph- the blind girl- cut their hair. It doesn't go too well, but since they end up with both ears still intact, and the memory of the poor, mutilated pumpkin on Halloween, I count it as a win. 

People start daring each other to take clothes off, then, and that gets even more interesting. Ash doesn't his sweater off, clutching his wrists to his chest, and nobody asks him to- that's how you tell it's a good friend group. Liz doesn't feel comfortable stripping, either, but she certainly takes in the view. Everyone else just ends up in their underwear- well, ish. I'm left without a shirt, and Sokka is just in his boxers and his sweater. He sticks his stinky feet in my face, a lovely reminder of back when we were still just 'friends.' I definitely feel like he got the better end of the dare bargain- he gets to inconspicuously eye my chest while I'm stuck with just his butt. Not that it's a bad view. I suppose I shouldn't be complaining. The whole time we're drinking, too, until my words start to slur.

Then, Ash asks me.

"Yo, Zuko, truth or dare?"

"Truth," I say reluctantly, holding Sokka's hand tightly. 

"Where's your scar from?" The entire table goes silent and I panic. No way in all the spirit worlds am I telling Sokka where my scar is actually from. I wouldn't mind the strangers knowing, but Sokka? I just. I can't. 

"Can I chicken?" I say lowly, and Avery smirks in the background, but it's a kind smirk, if that makes sense. 

"If you say chicken it switches to a whole other game entirely, and the game is called freezer-closet," Ash says matter-of-factly. I sigh. Freezer-closet sounds better than public-humilation/pity, so sure. 

"Ok, I'll bite. Freezer-closet," I say, Sokka pressing up to me. Olivia laughs out loud, clapping her hands together. 

"Get the die, she orders, and James pulls a normal die out of his pocket. 

"Is that loaded?" Sokka points suspiciously. James gives a wicked grin.

"Definitely not," and then he passes it to me. I toss it in the air experimentally, even though I have no way to tell if it's actually loaded or not. Then, I roll it across the table, everybody's eyes on it as it lands a solid 6. Then, everyone's eyes slide back over to me.

"What? What? Is that good?" I interrogate. I want to hop up and throttle Olivia.

"Six minutes!" She crows triumphantly. "In the freezer! With your boyfriend!"

"Um," Sokka starts to say, but we're already being crowded and pushed off the table.

"This one!" Someone calls, banging to open a huge metal door. "Damn it, it's locked."

"They're all locked except the smallest one!" Olivia says gleefully.

"That's a coincidence," Suki says dryly, but she helps push us in anyway.

"Um, this is a freezer guys, it's really cold, can I at least get my clothes back-" I start to say, but I'm interrupted. 

"Ah, right! Your clothes!" Olivia says, and makes everyone stop pushing us in. "Take your pants and your sweater off. You can keep your underwear on, for spirits sake. C'mon, do it."

"I hate you," Sokka grumbles as he obliges, and I'm not sure if he's talking to me or Olivia. 

"You do get one blanket, though," Avery says, handing us the rattiest little red blanket ever. "We're nothing if not hospitable here at Boiling Rock!" With that, we get shoved in, and the door shuts. Silence sets in as we stand in our underwear and socks, surrounded by packs of cold vegetables, so crowded our chests barely touch. 

***

Sokka:

"That was interesting," I observe, and Zuko shivers. I forget he's not used to the cold. Even though his body temperature is normally really high, it's quite cold in this freezer. "They can't see us, can they?" Zuko peers up, and stares at the door. 

"Nope, no window. There is a safety release, but it looks like-" he starts.

"-it looks like it's electronically controlled. So it'll set the whole place off if we use it," I finish. "I sure hope she lets us out on time."

"Meh," Zuko shrugs, and plops to the ground, hissing as the frosty metal hits his bare legs. "Nah, not sitting down."

"We better make use of this stupid blanket," I grumble, so I fold it up and set it down. "Now, who wants to sit on it?" Zuko immediately plops down. "Oh, wow, rude."

"Nah, now there's a seat for you too!" He cheerfully drawls, patting his lap. The reasonable part of me says no, we are not doing that here, because that will lead to making out which will lead to- which we aren't doing here. Not in six minutes. But the drunk, horny, teenage boy part of me says "yeah sure why not!!!!" So I sit down, snugly tucking myself in his lap, curling myself up. He strokes my hair, and I get the feeling that even though I'm technically on top, because of Zuko's stupid hot outfit and his stupid hot attitude, I'm not really on top. My thinking's too muddled, though, from all the alcohol, to think properly.

"You're so fucking pretty," he murmurs, and I look into his eyes to see them staring straight at me. Even if the rest of his movements are drunken, the passion in his eyes is stone-cold sober. It makes me shiver, and then makes me laugh. "Don't laugh," he orders, and his fingers tighten around my hair. It makes me laugh even harder.

"Zuko, we're drunk," I laugh, and then he wrenches my head backward. Not that hard, obviously, but hard enough to make me gasp.

"Not drunk," he mumbles, and then shoves his tongue down my throat, and next thing I know, we're making out more roughly than we've ever made out before. His fingers still gently but firmly pulling my hair, he keeps me still as he starts to make his way down my neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh as he leaves bright hickeys. His other hand methodically works down my back until he grabs my butt. Just as I feel his tongue graze my collarbone, I start panting. Drunk Zuko is surprisingly dominant, and it's surprisingly hot and effective.

"Zuko," I pant, a hot, shaky mess, and he's barely touched me yet. "It's probably been... um..." his hand that was in my hair tightly catches my jaw as he stares into my eyes. His eyes are so narrow, golden slits, a fire burning in them that chases all the cold in the freezer away. "It's probably been six minutes." Right on cue, the door starts jiggling, and I start to get off him, but he presses me to the ground, his hand on my chest. He looks a little confused. 

"Why won't the door open?" He asks me, his voice totally normal besides the fact he has me pinned.

"I don't know." We hear muffled voices yelling at us.

"Guys--- somehow---locked---figure it out--- be a bit--- you good?" Is all I make out.

"Great!" Zuko yells, and then turns back to me. I definitely did not whimper a little bit. Must be the alcohol speaking.

"We're not gonna-" he pulls me back into his lap, twisting so I'm leaning against the wall, and his hands start roaming my chest again. I can feel- something- under me, so I let my hips wiggle a little bit, grinding against his, and he gasps before snarling. 

"You wait until we get out of here, slut," he says, and I narrow my eyes. He shakes his head and then widens his eyes. "I'm sorry Sokka, I didn't mean- spirits, I'm so-"

"Shut up," I say, pressing a finger against his lips. He's back to the boy he was last night, which isn't what drunk me wants. "It was hot, ok?" Then I lean over and whisper in his ear, "we'll see which one of us is the slut."

***

Zuko:

We do eventually get let out. The door just unlocked randomly, and Sokka joked that it had seen enough of us making out. The group definitely noticed Sokka's hickies, that's for sure, but it's fine. I just threw his sweater at him, promised we did not do the nasty (which isn't a lie) and they let us leave. I think they caught the glances.

We pushed all the way through the party and into the snow, chasing each other back to the dorms, laughing the whole way. Sokka had the audacity to throw another snowball at me, and he's lucky I'm not sober, or I would've tossed him in a snowbank. Then, we have to sneak through the halls, past the sleeping chaperone room- dude, like a fifth of your kids are at a gay party, pay more attention- and into our room. I turn into the corner, taking off my jeans, when the lights go off and I feel Sokka's warm hand on my shoulder. I turn around to see his outline in just some pajama shorts, kicking his legs off the bed like a little kid.

"You sure you want me like this?" I ask, embarrassed at how much my words slur. I really should've let him take that third cup.

"Duh," he says, rolling his eyes. Ok, good. He's a hell of a lot more sober than I am. "You're lucky I'm letting you top," he whispers in my ear, and that does it. I grab his shoulder and push him into the brick wall behind us, seeing his smile. 

"You want this?" I whisper.

"Yeah, Zuko, yeah," he says impatiently, wriggling his butt up.

"You're gonna take it?" He lets out a tiny gasp. "You're gonna be good for me?"

"IpromiseIpromiseIpromise," he whines.

"All right, Sokka."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh please forgive me for trying to write top zuko, it just isn't my boy's natural state :(  
> Let me know what you thought though!


	22. Chapter 22

***

Sokka:

The morning was cool, frost pressing its needy fingers at the window panes. I spent an unreasonable amount of time laying there, in that soft lodge bed, white sheets pressed against my skin, staring at the window. The light was slowly brightening, but staring at the frost was intoxicating. The silence deadened except for Zuko's breathing, felt so heavy I didn't dare move. I couldn't hear myself breathing. All I could hear was the silence, the silence of the blankets, the silence of the brick wall, the silence of the cold morning light. And Zuko. I could hear this breathing, firm, soft, gentle, and my ears instinctively tuned into it.

I'm not quite awake, so my thoughts are in the hazy fever-dream world, a lens of sleep still in front of my mind. That might be why they're so serious. I roll over as slowly as possible, the blankets rubbing against my skin as I face him. I never wake up before him, so I just allow myself to melt into the mattress and watch him. His hair is tangled, blocking part of his face, his eyelashes fluttering. I'm not sure what he's dreaming about, but when he mumbles my name, I can't help myself, and I lean over so my face is only inches in front of his. Everything is perfect like we are suspended by tiny glass pillars, up into the stars, where gravity isn't real, and the glass is as strong as titanium.

Then, the glass breaks.

"Well, isn't this lovely," I hear someone say, and quite frankly, it doesn't register for a minute. I just stare blankly as Zuko's eyes snap open, his face going from a childlike, peaceful sleep to terror and confusion in half a heartbeat. Immediately, we sit up, scrambling around in the sheets, only to stop mid-effort as someone stands at the foot of our bed, dressed in a black and red jumper, admiring her nails casually.

"Azula?" I ask, surprised at how young and squeaky my voice sounds. I clutch the sheets closer to my chest, even though I am wearing one of Zuko's big t-shirts. I must've put it on last night. Zuko isn't wearing anything, but he just lets his hands rest on top of the covers, exposing his bare chest.

"Hello, brother," Azula says coolly, finally looking up from her manicure to stare straight at Zuko, like I'm not even here.

"What are you doing in my room, Azula?" Zuko asks, and if I didn't know better, I'd say his voice was a combination of exhaustion and fear.

"I didn't realize such shenanigans were taking place," she says, her eyes wide as she pauses dramatically. It gives me a chance to realize how much she looks like Zuko, but also how much she doesn't. The face isn't the same, but the eyes are. "Or else I would've knocked."

"Nothing happened anyway," Zuko says carefully, and my gaze bounces back between the two of them like I'm watching a tennis match where I can't interfere. "Besides, this doesn't prove anything to Dad."

"Oh, I know this doesn't," Azula says casually, and something about her voice makes my blood run cold. Zuko acts similarly- I can feel him stiffen beside me. "But this does." With that, she fishes a smartphone in a plain black case out of her pocket, clicks a couple of things as we sit there awkwardly, not daring to breathe. Then, she turns her phone towards us, and I have to squint my eyes to see the video that's playing. Oh, spirits...

Somehow, it's a video of Zuko and me in the freezer last night.

"Azula," Zuko gasps, and it sounds half-strangled.

"Quite a clever plot, I must admit," she says, laughing as she rolls her eyes. I can't breathe- it feels like a wad of glue got stuck in my throat and I'm trying desperately to cough it out. "Lock all the freezers, put a tiny camera above a bag of beans, and hack into the building's main interface to lock the doors. I knew you simply couldn't resist a party like..." Her face contorts into a demented sneer, and I can no longer find any resemblance of Zuko in her. "...that. Nor could you resist a game like that."

"You orchestrated the whole thing?" He practically whimpers, and the video keeps playing. Now I'm on his lap... spirits what if his father sees this?

"More or less," she shrugs, vaguely answering the question. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." she starts to strut away, the phone still clutched in her claws. In a blur, Zuko is next to her, thankfully wearing shorts, reaching for the phone, but it's like Azula expects it. She snatches his wrist right above his head, and from where I sit, paralyzed, I can see her nails dig into his skin.

"Azula, why?" He says, and for once, I can't read his voice. Instead of shrugging him off and walking away, as I expected, she meets his fierce gaze with a piercing look of her own, eyes wide. 

"You could never understand," she hisses, all of the cool confidence gone, replaced with a rage I don't understand. "You don't know what it's like."

"Don't know what's like, Azuka?" He erupts, ripping his wrist out of her hand, the phone forgotten. I hope these walls are soundproof because it's not like I'm going to try to stop the arguing. "If you're referring to our parents-"

"This is more than that," she laughs, and it's a creepy, strangled, frenzied sound. "Not that you would understand that... with Mother-"

"Don't you dare!" He screams, and she flinches but doesn't change her pose or her expression. Then, he says so low I barely hear it, "when it comes to our parents, you don't- you do not get to-"

"You could never understand," she repeats, laughing again like a crazed lunatic.

then, with that, she storms out of our room, the door slamming shut, and the silence sinks back in. This time, though, we aren't in a fevered world. We're not suspended by tiny glass pillars up into the universe. Azula cut them down, and even though it's silent again, we are lying on the ground, surrounded by cut glass and reality.

"Zuko," I try to say, only for my voice to stick. I clear it awkwardly and try again. "Zuko." This time, he turns, staring at me blankly. My arms weigh a thousand pounds, so I just tilt my head, and he understands, climbing back into bed next to me. Not even bothering to get under the covers, he awkwardly shuffles next to me, burying himself in my arms, and I hold him as tightly as I can, his hair tickling my nose as he sobs. I can't think of a time Zuko has cried in front of me, and the thought makes me want to drive a knife through my heart because it's so painful. I'm not sure how long we lay there- that's pretty cliche to say, but honestly, I think we're suspended in time. I can't even cry, I don't know how to feel. It's not like I'm upset for my own sake- I'm genuinely scared for Zuko and angry for Zuko, and sad for Zuko. I wish, just once, he would tell me what actually goes on at home. Even though he's the protective one, I could shield him so much more if I knew what happened.

"Zuko," I eventually say, finding my voice. I can't believe I stayed quiet that whole. The phone was right there I should've grabbed it I should've stood up for him I should've helped him I should've I should've I should've-

"Sokka," he mumbles, and it's almost indecipherable as he presses into my bare shoulder. I'm sure there are all sorts of tears and snot on my skin now, but that's ok. I gently cup his face with my hands, tilting his gaze up to me, his cheeks squishing a little. His face is all red and blotchy, and there are still a few tears streaming down his face. Except, there are only tears on the right side of his face, his scarred side not crying at all.

I don't know why, but something about that fact makes it all the worse.

"You should- do you want to tell me what really goes on? What really happened?" I say, just generally referring to his family life. I brush his scar with my thumb, gently and accidentally, and he flinches.

***

Zuko:

"If you're talking about this," I say, angry at how I sound, "it's nothing. I told you it was just an accident, ok?"

"Ok," he says, reluctant to believe me, his hands squishing up my face. I feel like a little kid, and like Sokka's hands are my mom's hands, and it makes me close my eyes and lean into his touch.

"What do I do?" I mutter, barely aware I even said anything until Sokka stirs.

"You mean what do we do," he corrects me, a warning edge in his voice. I open one eye, staring at him carefully.

"My family isn't your problem, and it's my job to deal with it," I say. He scoffs, which makes my noble attempt to sound a little stupider.

"Spirits, shut up, Zuko."

"Hey!"

"We're handling this together. I'm the plan guy, remember? Your plans are shitty."

"My plans are great," I say indignantly. "Remember how I fixed things at the Halloween party?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Ok, fair enough. That's one. That's one good plan for your whole life. What about when you thought I was breaking up with you- do you remember what your plan was?" He says, a strange mixture of condescending and endearing.

"Um," I respond, my eyes darting across the room as Sokka stares straight at me. "Cry?"

"That's what I thought. Or when you told me about Boiling Rock, and you didn't think to even consider if I could go or not, your plan was just-"

"Assume?" I guess, and he laughs, but I just feel worse about myself. "Sorry," I mutter, getting out of bed, shooting him a scathing look. He stops laughing immediately, a look of remorse on his face, and catches my wrist, pulling me back in.

"'s not funny," I mumble, pressed up against his chest.

"It's a little funny," he admits, and I elbow him. "Ow! Ok, ok, I'm sorry. It's not funny. Your plans are wonderful."

"They are," I say, wondering how we got from our previous topic to this, just trying to distract ourselves. Or, more accurately, distract me. I have to keep reminding myself that this is just my family. Sokka is safe. I would undergo a thousand of whatever my father will do to me when he finds out to keep that promise there. It doesn't matter how horrible my family is. Sokka's safety isn't at stake. Sokka has a safe house to go back to.

"So what is your plan, all-mighty-plan-master?" Sokka asks, teasing and poking me, making me writhe around in the sheets.

"Ok, ok," I pant. "My plan is..." I sit up, folding my legs, Sokka watching me with an amused look on his face, biting his lip as he tries to stop himself from laughing. "Um... We toss Azula from the Tower Peak?" He immediately looks horrified, although I think it's pretty funny, imagining her smug face right before she sails off the cliff. Then I imagine her hitting the bottom and- I hate Azula, I do, but that part is significantly less funny, and a little worm of guilt sneaks its way into me.

"She's your sister, Zuko!" He says outraged, and any guilt I previously had is gone.

"So? You don't know her as I do. She's psycho," I say, meeting his horrified gaze with my own stubborn one. I wish I could tell him what she's really like without breaking my rule of Don't Tell Anyone.

"Sisters are just like that," he says, rolling his eyes. I think he's forgotten what just happened literally ten minutes ago, and at this point, he's just being stubborn for stubbornness' sake.

Sisters are just like that.

If I look into Sokka's eyes, I can imagine his relationship with Katara, almost as if I already know it. I see children playing together, and teasing, in a snowy tundra. I see the two of them snuggled up against their parents, who love both of them, maybe drinking hot chocolate. I used to imagine our family like that. We would go to the beach, and when I was young, I thought our family was perfect. Azula was too young to show who she truly was, and our mother was around. I wasn't old enough to disappoint my father, and Iroh and my cousin were still around, too. I see Sokka's family start to fall apart. Their mother dies. Katara has to take on too much responsibility, and then their father leaves. It's not too different from what happened to our family, on the surface. Lu Ten died. My mother left. Except- their mother left telling Katara how much she loved her, and my mom left without saying goodbye to Azula. Their father left, but still writes letters. My father is still around, but. He's my father. I don't have an actual father, I have an authority figure of hate that lurks around every corner that waits for me.

Sisters are just like that. I see Azula when she is younger. We played tag, we played with her friends, we ran about the apartment causing tiny troubles. I imagine it's just like Katara and Sokka. Then everything changes. In their family, it forced Sokka and Katara closer, to rely on each other. In our family, it drove an impassable canyon between Azula and me. I see Azula smiling on that horrible day with my father and the burn. I see her holding that phone, taunting me. I see her, destroying my basketball future, mocking our Uncle, and talking about our mother in that disgusting way like she's our father.

"Maybe yours is," I mutter, and Sokka stiffens, his eyes immediately softening.

"Zuko, I'm-" he starts, but I don't let him finish.

"No, it's fine," I brush him off, getting out of bed and starting to get dressed after throwing a pair of pants at Sokka. "I know how to handle this."

"You do?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah. She orchestrated the whole thing, right? She hacked the lodge interface, she locked the doors, she stalked the party. She knew we would go."

"Zuko," he says slowly, but I can feel something growing in my stomach. Something angry. I don't like it. I take one last look at Sokka, but the moment I break his gaze, all I see is Azula. All I see is my father, my mother, and Azula. It's her eyes that I watch as I leave the hotel room, and as I blackout, heading towards a place my feet know but my head doesn't, it's her eyes that taunt me. They taunt me and they taunt me and I know she's winning.

Azula always wins.

***

Sokka:

I don't like that look on Zuko's face. The one that fills his eyes the minute he breaks my gaze. It clouds the gold, and they're like Azula's, but darker. He starts walking away, leaving the room so quickly I barely have time to react. I sprint out of bed, clutching his wrist, begging him to come back, to talk about this, before he does anything rash because I can't protect him.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry," I beg as he keeps marching down the hallway, dragging me behind him. I'm not letting go I have to protect him. Thank spirits the hallway is empty because I can barely handle myself right now. Nobody else needs to see me like this. "Zuko- Zuko please- It's not worth it- we can talk about this-"

"You don't understand," he says, not looking back at me, his lips moving in a trance. Everything is slowed down, and he sounds like Azula. I can only see the scarred side of his face and I can't tell if he's crying. He's so angry.

"Zuko Zuko please I can help don't do anything rash-"

"Just, get off of me, ok?" He erupts, ripping his wrist out of my hands, and letting me fall to the ground. The look he gives me- it's indescribable. And it's not Zuko. Every second he spends staring at me like that, not really seeing me, he drives another knife right through me, and I'm left pinned to the hotel carpet like a dying bug, bleeding out.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, my voice so hoarse and faint it doesn't even sound like me. He just walks away- to do what, I have no idea. I can't protect him either, because I'm a bug. Zuko's covered in my blood, but he didn't put it there. He disappears down the hallway, and I let him go.

I let him go.

I let him go too.

I see my blood painted up the hallway. I feel my breath leaving my body, and my lungs shudder and my body quakes as I lay in a fetal position in that stupid lodge hallway. I can't touch anything. I don't even know if I'm still on Earth anymore, or if I'm floating in space, with no blood left in my body. Well, once I start seeing stars, I assume I'm in space.

Years later, I will allow myself to revisit this moment right here, where he goes. It doesn't make any sense. Really, what was going to go do? Make some stupid argument with his sister? It would end poorly, that's all. Katara's the one with abandonment issues, you see, not me. But I couldn't protect my father. I'm failing at protecting my sister with every second I spend with Zuko. And I was failing to protect Zuko. Because I let him go. Because I couldn't protect him. This wasn't the ski lift. This was something I didn't understand. My ADHD brain couldn't comprehend it. The only option is to Protect Zuko. Only option. And my body was too busy trying to panic itself into oblivion to help.

Eventually, I got too tired from my panic attack to keep going, so I pushed myself up to the wall and just laid there. I needed to go find him. I needed to do something. I was just so, so tired.

Nobody walked by, which was surprising. I sat there for a very, very long time. I felt a little guilty when I remembered I was supposed to be out skiing, doing my favorite thing in the entire world. It felt stolen from me, but I wasn't sure who to blame but myself-

"PONYTAIL," someone yells, and I get broken out of my pity stupor to see someone racing down the hallway, skidding to a stop right in front of me.

"Olivia?" I say, purely out of shock. Sure enough, it is Olivia, the girl from last night. Her hair is a little messier, she's wearing vans instead of converse, and overalls over a shirt with two baby angels, but it's definitely her.

"Yeah, yeah, it's me," she pants, and then she points down the hall. I turn to see- Zuko, stalking down the hallway at eerie speed.

"You," he practically roars. Olivia grabs my wrist and pulls me up. I rub my eyes, wiping away nonexistent tears, and face Zuko.

"What's going on?" I whisper to her. She wraps her fingers around my shoulder, peering over me. 

"Not that I can't handle him," she starts. He's close enough I can see his face, contorted with rage. "But apparently something happened with- his sister, and he thinks I like, worked with her? To trick you into the freezer? Look, whatever happened, I'm really sorry-"

"Olivia, do you swear on your life you didn't trick us?" My voice is returning. "Because it seemed a little convenient. How else would she know we might've ended up in the freezer if you guys didn't make up the game?"

"Well," she hesitates. "We play this game all the time. Literally, I've been playing it as long as I can remember. We saw her- she's the one that looks like him, right? The basketball player with chopsticks in her bun and a friend in a braid?"

"That's her."

"We assumed they were a couple, so we invited them to the game. When she heard about the freezer, she- oh, he's really pissed?"

"Finish," I say through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. When she heard about the freezer, she left really quickly, so we assumed it probably wasn't the best idea to tell you lot about the freezer before you agreed to play."

"Promise?" I ask. I can only hope she's telling the truth.

"I solemnly swear on our lady and love, girl in red," she says, and I only have time to shoot her a confused glance before Zuko has caught up to us. His chest is heaving, but his fact is pale.

"Get away from him," he snarls. "You need to tell me why you worked with her against us."

"I didn't do anything!" She angrily shoots back. I feel uncomfortable being in the middle of this.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's talk about this-"

"Move, Sokka," Zuko grumbles, pushing me out of the way to grab the collar of her shirt. It's his go-to move: I've seen him threaten one too many a punk with that, and when he's messing around with me, he does that too. Understandably, though, Olivia does not take to it kindly. She grabs his wrist and twirls, rotating her arm methodically so he gets spun against the wall, his face smushed against it. Zuko's strong, but as he struggles in surprise to get away, she places her elbow right on his back.

"Look, man, I have a lot of respect for you," she says, not even addressing me, who stands there like a dumb, mute doll. "And I'm not really sure what's going on here, but you don't get to just put your hands on me-"

"Fine," he says, surprisingly calm, before whipping around to pin her against the wall with his elbow. "No hands." His face is furious, and I feel so helpless watching the entire scenario.

"Zuko!" I yell, and he glances at me as if just noticing me. "That's enough. Olivia didn't do this."

"She had to," he hissed, through gritted teeth. Olivia, for all her bravado and confidence, just looks at him. She's not scared, though, even though she should be- Zuko is terrifying like this. She just looks concerned for him.

"Olivia didn't do this," I repeat, drawing my shoulders up and approaching him. I know Zuko. I know Zuko. I don't know who this is.

"You know who I am," he murmurs, and I realize I said that all out loud. "Sokka?" He looks at me, seeing me again. I don't like what I see, but it's him.

He lets his arm drop and Olivia takes a wary step away.

"Dude, are you good?" Olivia asks. I shoot her a grateful glance as he stalks away, into our hotel room, which is just a bit away. I don't answer her until I am sure he's gone in.

"He'll be fine," I tell her. I don't know if it's a promise or a lie, but I know it's one of the two. "Sorry for him- he- I mean-"

"I know," she whispers, her eyes flitting over her shoulder as he closes the door. "It's fine. Thank you for believing me. I would never do anything to hurt you two. That girl, Azula- is she ok, too?" The question surprises me.

"I don't know." That answer is more of a question itself. Is Azula ok?"

"He's lucky he has you," she tells me before I can figure it out, and gives me a reassuring half-smile. "See ya, ponytail." With that, she walks down the opposite hallway, and I'm left with the empty hallway. It starts to echo my breaths, and I start to panic again, but before I know it, something in my chest stops spasming and drags me down the hallway, and into the hotel room, where Zuko stands, looking out the window. One of his long, graceful fingers gently traces the windowsill in a lazy pattern. I can only see his back, so I can't read his face. I'm not sure I want to. I stand there for an unusually long time. Zuko hurt me in these past minutes, but more importantly, I know that Zuko himself is hurt infinitely more.

"I'm sorry I'm such an asshole," he finally says. "Why am I so bad at being good?" Good. He sounds like Zuko.

"I don't know," I finally say, walking over to him. After a moment of hesitation, I rest my hands on his shoulders, putting my chin on the left one. He melts into my chest, exhaling like he's been holding his breath for hours.

"I'm sorry, Sokka."

"It's ok, Zuko," I say, trying to mimic his voice, but he just shakes his head.

"No, it's not," he says angrily, his eyes still trained at the window. "I overreacted. It wasn't Olivia's fault. It was Azula's."

"Yeah," I admit. "I could've told you that if you like- listened to me-"

"Sokka," he says, alarmed, turning to look at me, gripping my arms. "Are you ok?"

"Totally," I brush him off.

"You didn't seem fine- I noticed, but I should've turned around and-"

"I just couldn't protect you, ok?" I mumble, smashing my face into his shoulders. He hesitates and then wraps his arms around me.

"That's my job!" Zuko says angrily. I laugh, sniffing a little bit.

"It's my job too, and I failed. I let you go."

"You didn't let me go. I- I left. I guess my family's good at that, huh?"

"Mine too," I say softly. I don't know if he can hear me or not, but I'm just grateful we're back to normal. Temporarily.

***

Zuko:

We still have the huge problem at hand, but at least- at least Sokka is in my arms again.

"So, what are you going to do?" he asks. "And please don't storm out of the hotel room in a scary rage to go attack some nice local."

"I didn't attack her," I mumble. "But ok. You're the 'plan guy,' what's your plan?"

"Well..." he drawls, raising an eyebrow. "A daring heist. A thrilling adventure. A high-stakes gamble with your life on the line!" With that last sentence, he breaks out of my hug and spreads his arms wide, for a camera that doesn't exist.

"Sokka, I really don't like the sounds of-"

"Listen, Azula has that video on her phone, right?"

"I mean- I mean, yeah. You're saying-"

"We break into her and her buddies' dorm, steal the phone, destroy the evidence! Bam, no more threatening sister or homophobic dad."

"Your mood has improved significantly," I note dryly, and he just shakes his head.

"It's fine. So, are you down?" He holds out his hand, and it's as if Sokka's performance has summoned an audience because I can feel the pressure as I debate my decision. I either refuse and leave my fate up to Azula to successfully give it to my father. (It's not as if it's just a video of us hugging, or even kissing. We were drunk, and I was, ya know. What can I say?) Or, I can take Sokka's hand, and actually try to help myself. It's not really a choice, and when I take his hand and see his determined, excited grin, I feel a twinge of guilt and a hint of excitement in my stomach.

First things first, we identify Azula's room. That isn't hard- Zuko knows where Iroh's room is, and his uncle is such a "daft" person, (Zuko's words, not mine), he left the door unlocked. There, we find a list of all chaperone information: including which room Azula, Ty Lee, and Mai are sleeping in. It's in the girls' room: room 243.

Then, we sneak over into the wing, avoiding protective chaperones, the handful of basketball and soccer players still lingering, and a well-meaning janitor before we finally identify their bedroom.

"There's no way it's unlocked, right?" I whisper, glancing around the hallway. I hear a click and look down to see Sokka whittling away at the lock with what looks like white toothpicks. "Um, Sokka-"

"Whalebone pins- useful for holding your hair up when skiing, and useful for picking locks!" He exclaims cheerfully, despite the fact we have left the grounds of curious friends and have waltzed into the dangerous territory of "creepy teenage boys breaking into girls dorms." "There." With that, the door pops open, splinters of bone popping out of the lock. We stare at it for a long minute, wondering what they'll think, until we hear someone coming down the long hallway and scamper into the room, shutting the door behind us. Breathing a huge sigh of relief, we look at each other, before surveying the room. It looks similar to our room except- significantly more girly. Knowing my sister and her friends so well, I can pick out where each of them is sleeping. Ty Lee on the couch- makeup products and skimpy clothes cover it, and I watch a lip gloss slowly leak onto the beige carpet. Mai sleeps on the first bed- I can tell because it's perfectly made, no accessories or items save a sleek alarm clock and her suitcase, tucked neatly under the bed. Azula clearly sleeps on the other bed. I can tell because it's clear she tried to make her bed, but she's so accustomed to the life of servants that it didn't turn out right, and she'd be too proud to make Mai do it. She's probably banking on the cleaning staff to clean up after her, although I'd hate to be the one to tell her you don't want the cleaning staff in your room- they totally ruined a jacket of mine.

"Where's the phone?" Sokka hisses at me, stepping over a pile of feminine products. I raise an eyebrow.

"We don't have to whisper, stupid."

"Then why are you whispering too?"

He's got me there. I feel like at any second, Azula will lunge out, insult our mother, call me a nasty name, and then hit me. Luckily, no such thing happens, and we get right to work searching as thoroughly and non-suspiciously as possible. Our most interesting finds? A box of streamers, bejeweled nail clippers, and a box cutter. I don't want to talk about it.

"Found it!" Sokka says triumphantly. He opens the drawer of one of the nightstands and reveals a Bible.

"Dude, they have those in like, every hotel," I tell him, rolling my eyes.

"Not so fast. Listen, Azula's smart, and I'm smart. We're quite similar."

"That's a comparison I never want to hear, actually."

"Shut up. If she did what I did-- and she did." He flips open the Bible to reveal the pages cut out, forming a box where the phone rests snugly. "That's what the box cutter is for."

"I still have questions about the tutu on a ski trip, but ok," I say, tripping as I make my way across the room towards the phone.

"We can't unlock it, though," Sokka admits, as he types in a couple of incorrect passwords including, but not limited to, 1234 and 0000. Smart.

"That's ok. The point is, we have it, and-"

"And the point is it's not going to help you," a bored voice says, and we spin around, dread rushing through our veins, to see a figure in black standing at the wide-open door. But it isn't Azula.

"Mai?" Sokka says incredulously, dropping the Bible. I still clutch the phone close to my chest, remembering the last time Mai, Sokka, and I was in a situation together.

"Hi, boys," she says, sounding almost sad. She looks a lot different than that Halloween night- dressed in all black, her hair half up in those two buns, her eyes a lot darker, even with less makeup.

"What are you doing here?" I say at the same time Sokka says, "this isn't what it looks like."

"Um," she hesitates, looking around, "this is my room. The real question is, what are you doing here?"

"Haha, um," Sokka tries, pulling at his collar. I can feel his sweat from where I stand- surrounded by the victims of our rummaging, holding a phone. "Inspecting?"

"I'm pretty sure she already knows," I stage-whisper, and she nods, rolling her eyes.

"You guys are not very inconspicuous. Not that it matters. I know why you're here." She nods at the phone, and my heart sinks. "And it won't help you."

"Uh, yeah it will," I stutter. But she's right. Azula would always have a backup plan. I just made things worse by coming here and breaking in.

"This will, though," she says, and with that, reveals a flash drive in her hand, whipping it out like a knife. I narrow my eyes at her, but it seems like she's telling the truth. "It's her backup." With that, she tosses the flash drive at us. I catch it instinctively, right in front of Sokka's face, as he blinks.

"The video is- is saved on here?" I ask, and she rolls her eyes, nodding.

"You guys sure are daft. Yeah, Zuko."

"Why?" I say, genuinely curious. At that, she refuses to meet my eyes.

"I've known you for a long time since you were a little kid. I don't want to see something bad happen to you, because only something bad happening to you could make Azula so gleeful. And... I feel bad. That night at the Halloween party. It shouldn't have happened- I was drunk- I can barely remember what happened, but... I got filled in. And I mean, I do care about you, in one way or another. I love Azula- she's my friend- but for once, I don't want to fear her. I care about you more than I fear her, just for one day. You deserve to be happy." With that, she glances at Sokka, then glances at me, and gives me a sad little smile. I'll never figure her out. That was the most words I think I've ever heard her say in my entire life. As I look at her, I get flashbacks of playing with her and Azula, in a fountain, eating apples. I know she's Azula's friend, and I can't trust her after this, but it's nice to know someone has my back.

"Mai, what happened to the lock- um..." I hear someone enter the room, and see Ty Lee's head pop over Mai's shoulder. Mai just winces, closing her eyes.

"Hey, Ty Lee," she says, and Ty Lee spots the two of us. Eyes widening, she gives both Sokka and I a once over, narrowing on the flash drive, which I slip into my pocket- too late.

"What's going on?" Ty Lee asks, but it's clear she already knows. "You gave them that? Azula needs that-"

"Did you ever think about what she was going to do to him? He's her brother, Ty Lee, and she's gotten out of control. You know it too," Mai hisses, and Ty Lee just grits her teeth, stepping away from her to lean against the doorframe in a creepily Azula-like way.

"It doesn't matter. She's our friend. She's- she's Azula," Ty Lee almost pleads, and Mai just shakes her head. Sokka snakes his hand into mine as we stand there, watching the whole production with our hearts in our throats. "Why'd you do it? Why'd you give it to them, Mai?"

"Zuko doesn't deserve it," Mai answers firmly. "Besides, I had to make up for things that happen in the past." Ty Lee's eyes flicker towards us, specifically Zuko, and I can see the conflict in her eyes. I tighten my grip around the flash drive in my pocket just a bit more, until I can feel it making an indent in my skin.

"We need to give it back to Azula," Ty Lee says slowly, but it's more of a question. "She needs it."

"And she won't tell me why," Mai fires back. "You know. I know you know why Azula needs so badly to destroy Zuko, to prove herself to her father, but she won't tell me. So I don't know how important it is."

"You know I can't tell you," Ty Lee pleads. "It's very important, trust-"

"Trust?" Mai echoes. "Trust you? Trust me, Ty Lee. Just once. Help me do the right thing. Let them leave. Just once. You've been friends with Azula as long as I have."

Clutching her hands to her chest, Ty Lee whispers, "it's different."

"Maybe and I don't know why," Mai shoots back, making Ty Lee flinch a little bit. Mai lowers her voice, looking a little regretful. "You guys are- close. But I'm still your friend, Ty Lee. Either way, they're leaving with that flash drive, with or without a fight. With or without you. So you can either betray me or not."

"That's an impossible decision," Ty Lee cries, her eyes darting around. Ty Lee's always been so sweet, never cruel to me, if not a bit oblivious, it pains me to see her like this. Not enough to step in, though.

"It's a decision you make all the time, and you choose her every time. So choose me, ok, Ty Lee?" Mai softens her voice, holding out her arms. Strange, seeing her so tender when she's normally so dark and closeted up. After a moment of hesitation longer than eternity, Ty Lee sighs, and falls into Mai's arms, pressing her eyes shut as she buries herself into her friend's shoulders. Everyone in the room breathes a silent sigh of relief, and Mai nods at us. As quietly as possible, Sokka and I tiptoe out of the room, shutting the door and staring at each other in disbelief.

"That was-"

"I can't believe-"

"How did?" We both stutter at each other, until Sokka just wraps me in a big hug, twirling me around a little bit. I'm safe. We've avoided Azula yet another day.

Unfortunately, I spoke too soon.

"Doing a little bit of snooping, brother?" I hear her say. For a moment, I think I imagined it, but then Sokka stiffens, and I turn around to see her, in the same outfit, leisurely sipping a black coffee. She must've sauntered off to the cafe after creeping in my rooming and ruining our morning. Jokes on her. "Jokes on you-" Dammit. It's like she can read my mind. "-even if you found the phone, I've got a backup." Ohhh. Maybe the joke really is on her, I think, as she rifles around in her pocket with a smug look on her face. "Do you really think I'd be that stupid?"

"I don't know, Azula, are you?" I pull the flash drive out of my pocket, Sokka cackling next to me, the yellow hotel light glinting off of it. I watch Azula's face drain of any color, as she frantically digs in her pocket.

"No! How? Mai and Ty Lee were watching my back the whole time, how could- and you weren't even-" Her eyes narrow, I feel a pit of dread in my stomach. Not for myself. But for Mai. Good thing, however, Azula can't even fathom the idea of being betrayed, because she doesn't blame Mai. "That murderous soccer player- with the fans- I should've known-"

"Suki?" Sokka says in disbelief.

"I should've known she was up to something!" She hoots, dropping her black coffee, leaving a dark stain on the carpet. Tiny drops splatter up and land on her face, highlighting her murderous, crazed expression. "I'll kill her-"

"Suki?" Sokka snorts. He's high on adrenaline. "Good luck with that."

"You mark my words!" she shrieks and lunges for the flash drive. Panicking, I throw it against the wall with all my strength, and somehow, it shatters, the shards falling to the ground. Azula crumples to her knees, trying to scoop up the tiny bits of metal and plastic, cutting her hands open as she mutters to herself, all the while shooting dangerous looks back at us. Soon, though, as Sokka and I both try to subtly creep down the hallway and away from her, she stands up, letting the shards fall to the ground numbly.

"It's over, Azula," I yell, and watch her eyes narrow, trying desperately to make calculations that aren't possible. It's like watching Sokka through tinted glass, except if he were pushed to his breaking point and were twenty times more evil and unhinged.

"No," she snarls, then stops, eyes widening before she glances at me, the smug mask back on her face.

"This can't be good," Sokka whispers, and she just hisses at him.

"You might have destroyed it, somehow," she growls. For the first time, she's addressing him, and I don't like it. I want to step in front of him, shield him from my undeserved family's fury. "But I already showed the one person that matters."

"Who's that?" Sokka taunts. I clutch his hand. Please don't say Ozai please please, please-

When she says the name, it doesn't register at first. There's just relief because it's not Ozai. But when I feel Sokka's hand go colder than ice, that's when it hits me. It's not Ozai.

"Katara."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this one! I really pushed myself out of my comfort zone with it, and wrote quite a bit, but I think it turned out ok.  
> Also, this is really weird but- this story has barely gone anywhere on this platform, but I posted it on wattpad and it has over 2k comments and over 31.5k views-- kinda weird, yeah?


	23. Chapter 23

***

Sokka:

Katara.

My sister's name echoes through my ears.

Zuko and I left the hallway a couple of hours ago, and now we're skiing again. It's hard to focus on Zuko's hand around my waist, on the feel of the wind against my face, on the fact I'm in my natural environment when I hear the person I probably care about the most's name ringing in my ear. I want to say, how, how did Katara get it? I know, of course. Azula is crafty. Azula probably had the video go directly from the camera to Katara. I picture her getting home from school, checking her phone- she's such a nerd she never checks her phone during the day- only to see that video. Not only is it gross- like seriously, my little sister doesn't need to see that, but- I was going to tell her eventually. I was, right?

I just didn't want to hurt her, and now she found out that I'm dating her least favorite of person, the individual she hates the most in the world, and I've lied about it to her for so long. She got a front-row seat to it to my dirty secret, and now I can't wait to go home. So I can explain. So I can see if I can actually look in her face, and hear her voice, and still convince myself that Zuko is more important than my sister's heartbreak.

It doesn't matter, really, if it's deserved. It's not, of course. Katara's wrong, and this kind of thing shouldn't devastate her. But it still will. And it's my job as her older brother, regardless if she's right or not, to prevent her from getting hurt.

"Hey," Zuko says as we sit on the ski lift, my eyes trained on the horizon. I reak out of my stupor and smile halfheartedly at him. His eyes reflect exactly how I felt yesterday. Concerned. "Is everything ok?"

"Stellar," I mutter, sliding my head into his lap. His hands go to play with my hair, probably to harass the frozen scrunchie, but he has the biggest mittens I've ever seen on. He just ends up awkwardly patting my head, and I almost laugh.

"It's going to be ok," he tries, and I just sigh. "Um. What would Uncle say?" He starts rambling about- well, I don't even know what. He lost me at some silver lining bullshit because Katara's face full of young betrayal is swimming in my gaze.

"Yep," I say, not paying attention until he stops talking.

"That makes sense? Really?"

"Zuko, I have no idea what you're talking about. I just want to get off this damn ski lift so I can go home and fix-" It was as if karma was watching me and cackling because right at that very moment, the ski lift came to a shuddering halt. Zuko and I stared at each other, and then immediately scrambled to the edge. The ski lift had just stopped. The car in front of us was just as confused, an dI could hear shouts of curiosity echoing off the snowy hills. We were too far to jump- we wobbled precariously about two hundred feet off the mountainside, where rocks and pine trees lay. Even I reached off, I couldn't touch the tops of the trees. We were stopped in perhaps the most inconvenient spot possible.

"You're kidding," Zuko grumbles, throwing his head back. If it's bad for me, I think grimly, imagine being paralyzed with fear of heights.

"It's fine," I reassure him, reaching over to stroke his mitten. This day seriously cannot get any worse. "Trust me."

"If you'll trust me," he fires back, and I must look confused because he elaborates. "Everything will be fine with Katara. I don't know a lot about sisters, but I know you and Katara love each other."

"She holds grudges worse than anyone I know!" I object, throwing my hands up. I don't mean to get angry at Zuko, but I feel like I have to yell at someone. Thankfully, he isn't daunted. "What if she never forgives me?"

"She'll forgive you," he promises. "And there's nothing you can do until then, ok? At the end of the day, Katara wants what's best for you."

"I guess," I mumble glumly. He does have a point, though. Katara's done some stupid things before. I can be dramatic: maybe she isn't as mad as I've imagined her to be?

"Just, enjoy this last day, ok? Katara would want you to do that, at least." I lean into his arms, trying to believe his words and dispel the guilt in my stomach. Logically, he's right. There's nothing I can do about it, and worrying will just make things worse. I might've forgotten that I'm still dating a literal Greek god of a human, so I just focus on that instead of the approaching storm that is my little sister's wrath.

"It should be starting any minute," I point out, trying to change the subject, but just as I speak, I hear a strange sound.

"Is that an airplane?" Zuko asks, cocking his head, puzzled. I shake my head and point at the tiny snowmobile roaring up the mountain below us, stopping nearby. Narrowing my eyes,I see a tiny figure get out and stand on top of it.

"Attention Boiling Rock guests," the tiny person's voice bellows out, magnified by what I'm assuming to be a megaphone.

"This can't be good," Zuko groans, but I swat at him to be quiet.

"We apologize for the inconvenience, but it appears our ski lift mechanism is currently inoperational." I hear shouts of dismay from the other cabs. "Do not panic! You are perfectly safe, and we have our best people working right on it. If it is safe to exit, please do so. If not, please wait patiently. Thank you!" With that, they drive away, leaving Zuko and me to stare at each other in horror. Peering around him, I see people several cars up jump off, landing safely. Lucky them got stopped right on the edge of a cliff, and we're directly over it.

"I hate this stupid day," Zuko mumbles and throws his head into his hands. I feel a little bad for him, so I do what I do best- comic relief, with a side of being a boyfriend.

"What was that you said? Just look for the silver lining?" I say, and it works- he laughs.

"Don't ever say that again."

"But it was such a good quote." I stick out my bottom lip, pouting for effect. It doesn't work.

"Whatever," he rolls his eyes, but he's smiling despite himself. Just get over here so I don't get a panic attack." He slides off his mittens so that he can better grab the railing.

"Don't look down," I instruct, grabbing the sides of his face like a little kid, squishing up his cheeks. "Look at me."

"Ok," he shrugs and then kisses me. It makes me forget all the worries of the day, his too-warm lips against mine.

"Don't rock the cart, stupid," I mumble as his fingers grab the back of my head, crawling down my neck, tickling me gently.

"Jesus, that's cold," he swears, breaking the kiss as my fingers crawl up his coat, tracing their icy paths in swirling patterns.

"It's not that bad," I tease as he tenses up, trying to squirm away to no avail. He's pinned between a rock and a hard place- or in his case, pinned between rocking the cart and being subjected to my freezing fingers.

"You're killing me," he complains, twisting his back. All he succeeds in doing is pushing me more firmly onto his lap.

"So toasty," I mumble in contentment as my hands find a particularly warm pocket under his shirt.

"Sooookkaaaaa," he moans, "this is cruel and unusual punishment-get off me."

"Get off on you? I mean, if you insist-"

"Sokka-" he hisses, and a tiny moan escapes his lips, the wind carrying it away.

"Better not," I giggle, and then lean in his ear. "Don't want anyone else to think we're taking such... advantage of this situation."

"Shut up," he says, his face turning bright red. "You are the worst. How are you- Why is this the only thing that takes your mind off things?"

"I don't know," I say, shrugging. His back is cold now, so I withdraw my hands, pouting, just to put them on my face. He's a furnace.

"You really are the worst."

***

Zuko:

Even though it feels like hours, shouting to a skier below us tells us we've only been trapped up here for fifteen minutes. Sokka, forgetting his worry about his sister, has been overwhelmed with his ADHD, draping himself dramatically across every surface possibly while mumbling about the unfairness of the world. I just watch the whole thing happen, very amused. After he got bored of harassing me with his icicle fingers, he looked over the sides of the cab at every possible angle, making crude gestures at the skiers below. Then he entertained himself with fogging up the cold metal with his breath, and 'drawing.' I use the term very lightly. He complained, braided my hair, complained, took a two-minute nap, complained, told me all the jokes he knew, complained, stretched, complained, and then hovered right next to my face, sighing loudly to make me aware of his discomfort. As if I didn't already know. He did his best to hang out the side of the cab, giving me a heart attack, to collect handfuls of snow off the top. He sprinkled some on me, got bored of that after I just pushed him away, and then made tiny snowballs to hurl at people below us. All of this happened in roughly ten minutes, although I think Sokka aged ten years. Eventually, he did his best to pace the limited space we had, but that almost made us tip over, so when I begged him to sit down, he obliged- on my lap. Little bastard.

He stretched out in a way that made him 200 pounds heavier, getting that faraway look in his eyes again. Ignoring the cold, I wind my fingers through his freezing wet hair, the frost collecting on his scrunchie.

"It's going to be ok," I tell him, mimicking his words this morning.

"I just wish the world wasn't so homophobic," he mutters.

"Hey," I say indignantly. "Katara isn't homophobic. I mean she's a lot of things but-"

"No, no, I know."

"And there's a lot of good in the world. A lot of allies. Things are a lot better than they used to be," I reassure him. It sounds strange- this usually isn't the role I play, especially not when I'm two hundred feet above a snowy doom.

"At least I have you," he smiles and kisses me gently.

At least I have you, Sokka.

***

Sokka:

It's ok. I can do this. Deep breaths.

We eventually did get off the ski lift, and only had a couple more hours to ski before we got loaded back up on the bus by a surprisingly efficient Iroh and his team of chaperones. Zuko spent the whole ride home trying to comfort/annoy me without anyone else noticing, holding my hand under the seat, the whole deal. But sooner or later, the bus drops me off in my neighborhood, around 8 pm, and I have to face Katara.

The neighborhood is quiet, the air warmer down here than up at the ski resort but still chilly, and our house is dimly lit by only Katara's room. Her LED lights- courtesy of her being popular- are dark blue, and I wince, standing on the sidewalk. That means she's really upset. The bus putters away as I clutch my bags, and I catch one last glimpse of Zuko mouthing 'good luck.' Thanks. I'm gonna need it.

"Hello?" I whisper, walking in the house. No response, which means Gran-Gran is asleep. Good. As quietly as possible, I set my stuff down on the couch, and then debate my option. I can go into the basement and put it off tomorrow, or I can get it over with. My stomach is so knotted up, though, I think that even if I did go downstairs I'd just throw up. So, I walk up the stairs, creaking more than I remember. Even though the trip was only a couple of days, this house feels foreign. I don't forget where her room is, though, and I spend too long standing outside of it, hesitating, before I knock gently.

"Katara? Um, I'm home," I say. Maybe, I think, she didn't get the video. Maybe-

"Joy of joys," she says flatly, whipping the door open and letting the light flood into the hallway. "My lying brother has finally returned."

***

Zuko:

Azula and I are the last stop- the bus makes a special trip to our penthouse, instead of just dumping us on a nearby block like all the other kids. I guess we're special. Iroh got off right before us- he's not welcome in the penthouse, unfortunately. Azula and I walk in, and she immediately heads to her bedroom after shooting me a very distasteful glare. She's really losing it.

Right before she slips into the shadows of her bedroom, I catch her wrist. She just about snaps my neck before I get a chance to speak.

"Why?" I ask, and she spits- she actually spits- on my feet.

"You'd never understand," she says, echoing her past words, and shuts the door. I stand there, feeling the night servant's eyes on me, and there's nothing I can think to say or do.

***

Sokka:

"Hey, Katara," I say weakly, shoving myself into her room. She just crosses her arms and glares at me. I don't dare sit on her bed.

"When were you finally going to tell me?" She asks, her eyes boring into mine. I avoid eye contact.

"Uh, tell you what?"

"That you're dating Zuko!" She slams her fist down, and I jump. I've never seen her this angry.

"Look, I-"

"Aang told me everything."

"Wait, Aang-?"

"Yes, Aang," she rolls her eyes. "How else would I know?"

"You mean you didn't get the video-?" I ask weakly. My bones have turned to jelly. Thank god my little sister didn't have to watch- watch that.

"What video- never mind," she brushes me off. "So, when were you going to tell me?"

"Um," I hesitate. I don't dare lie. "...eventually? I just. I need Zuko, but I also can't live without you. It was too big a risk."

"Sokka," she mumbles as she presses her head into my hands. She sounds so weary, and I feel so guilty. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. "You will never lose me, ok? First of all- do you think I'm homophobic or something"

"No, no," I say hastily. "I mean... I wasn't sure... but..."

"Sokka," she steps forward like she's going to give me a hug, but then thinks better of it, ice filling her eyes again. "I have no problem with you being gay."

"Pretty sure I'm actually bi," I mumble under my breath, and her eyes soften a tiny bit. "But thanks."

I just- why him, Sokka? Why the son of the worst kind of person- people like him killed our mother, and they took our father away too?"

"Not Zuko," I fire back. "Sure, his father. But not Zuko. He's- he's different."

"Spirits, Sokka," she retorts angrily. "What about him makes him so different? He wears the same clothes. He lives in the same house. His sister is a bitch, and just because maybe he's a bit of a better actor to us, to us common folk-" she spits out, "doesn't mean he's like us."

"He didn't choose to be born in that part of society, Katara. Just like I didn't choose to be queer."

"That doesn't matter. Anyway he acts now is just temporary, and you along with it." That stings, actually. "In a couple of years, any secretly-kind act will fade away as the power, money, and position his father offers grows too enticing to resist. I heard him talk. He keeps you a secret for a reason. Because he's embarrassed by you. Besides, how could you?" Tears form in her eyes. "You know that that- that group of people, what they did to us, what they did to me. You know how I hate them, and to keep it a secret? We've never kept secrets, Sokka, and now that seems like that's all that you are."

"Katara," I want to comfort her. It kills me knowing I'm the one causing her this pain, but she's wrong. She's wrong, right? "His family is fucking homophobic, ok?" With that, she looks up, startled. She didn't know that, I'm guessing. "His mom is dead. His father is abusive as hell. We both had our reasons for keeping it a secret. I didn't want to- to hurt you, to see you like this. And Zuko didn't want to get hurt."

"Abusive," she echoes, her voice tiny, but I'm too pissed to stop.

"And Zuko isn't his father, ok? He isn't responsible for what happened to our mother. His family has made his life literal hell, and you're starting to make mine, too. I can't believe Aang snitched."

"I made Aang," she shoots. "He didn't want to tell me and you can't blame him and I'm-" she breaks down, sobbing into her hands. I immediately feel ten times guiltier. I'm not 100% sure who's wrong at this point.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you, Katara. Maybe this can be an opportunity to-"

"Just get out," she demands, angry tears streaming down her face as she pushes me out of the room. The door shuts in my face, and the hallway is dark again. As I stand there, just staring blankly at the wall, I hear a rustling of fabric. I turn and see Gran-Gran in her nightclothes, watching me with a sad expression on her face. I don't say anything- I just turn and go downstairs.

Zuko is worth the world. I just wasn't expecting to have to sacrifice this much for him, and it's not even his fault.


End file.
